#993 Fat baseball players

Let me tell you how many eggs I put in my omelette.If you ever find yourself playing professional sports and someone from the stands yells out “Come on, Big Bopper!,” you’re probably a fat baseball player. Fat baseball player, thank you for giving us that simplest thing of all.


See, because usually when we see those tricep flabs shaking in the wind and those bathroom scales exploding into a mess of springs going in all directions, we figure that our professional sports careers are pretty much over. Ain’t too much room on the hockey bench or the soccer pitch for us husky folks, and so, with our dreams sidelined, we sign up for night school VCR repair courses and start staining furniture in the garage, channeling our energies away from the games we love into our Plan Bs and Cs.

But that’s where you come in. To the Cecil Fielders, John Kruks, and C.C. Sabathias of the world: Thank you for keeping our dreams alive to one day be a platoon Designated Hitter. Thank you for being


The dream

110 thoughts on “#993 Fat baseball players

  1. So, what about water-boy or mascot? Keep the dreams alive boys and girls!
    I’m personally on a mission and service here…
    WE NEED TO HELP AWESOME BECOME HIGHER RANKING THAN 1000 ways to die…”Come on people now”…

    1. Single mom of 3 with a “GRIMM” past, marries farmer/carpenter; singer and song writer…whos sang his heart out to his bride infront of nearly 200 people, in 7th. day Adventist church…and it was the best wedding ceremony EVER!!
      *Dreams really can come true…keep on believing!

  2. Just as awesome for those of us on the other side of the Atlantic (or the other side of the Pacific) is fat cricketers… …Dwayne Leverock, Inzy, Mark Cosgrove, Ian Austin and Warnie

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