I met Chris Kim in September, 2005 in Boston.
A tiny Korean guy with thin eyes hidden behind thick glasses under a well-worn and faded ball cap, he looked kind of mousy under awkwardly baggy clothes and behind a soft voice. And even though neither of us drank much, we met at a bar — me speed-sucking a gin and tonic through a needle-thin straw, him warming a well-nursed beer and occasionally taking baby sips.
When he mentioned he was from Boston, I asked about the Red Sox and he played along well enough. “Big win last night,” he offered cautiously. “Maybe still have a chance at the playoffs?” Of course, that launched me on a rant about the bullpen and whether Curt Shilling had enough steam for another big run. He nodded on, listening intently, asking genuine and serious questions, and letting our friendship take root over sports, of all things. Of course, he never watched the stuff, but was nice enough to let me talk mindlessly about it all night.
Full of wry smiles, awkward pauses, and mock-serious faces, Chris was a complex, fascinating, creative person who grew into a remarkably close friend during the two years I lived in the US. He got excited about little things, like caramelizing onions perfectly for an hour on low heat, getting randomly selected to fill out a survey of his radio habits, or learning a new keyboard shortcut in Microsoft Excel.
But it wasn’t the bar scene that helped our friendship bloom. It was the car scene.
Yeah, when I showed up to school on our first winter morning shivering to the bone in a flimsy nylon coat, my hair wet, my face dripping, Chris asked where I lived and if I needed a ride the next day. As I was at that moment toweling my face off with a fistful of balled up Kleenex, I took him up on it right away. (Lucky for me Chris had signed up to be a senior student in an undergrad residence way off campus, spending his free time for two years chaperoning social events, holding heads above toilets, and editing two or three resumes a night on a steady clip.)
Anyway, he began picking me up every morning for the next two years, probably at least a couple hundred rides, never once accepting money for gas because, as he said, “I’m going that way anyway.” When other students heard about my taxi service, they got in on it, too. It started with a “Hey Chris, if there’s a blizzard tomorrow, can I catch a lift?”, and turned into Chris emailing three or four of us each night, giving us the Bus Schedule, as he called it, timed precisely to the minute for the next morning. And so it went — us piling into his car after he’d spent the first few minutes warming it up for us, tightly blanketed in fat mittens and his trademark big blue hat.
Two years later, in Spring, 2007, Chris and I went on a three week roadtrip with our friend Ty, which I’ve mentioned before here and here. Not too long after the trip began, we started joking about how much Chris was text-messaging his friends. It was non-stop, how in touch he was constantly with people. “Jake says hi,” he’d deadpan, his back facing the Grand Canyon, surrounded by people all looking the other way. Eventually, he made a joke of it, letting us take photos of him obliviously focused on his cell phone in front of every big site we stopped at. He absolutely loved the gag and laughed wildly before and after each photo.
Last year I nervously started up this page, tentatively dipping my toe into cyberspace where anyone could see. Chris of course adopted his Mexican half-brother pseudonym San Carlos and peppered us with comments of support from the get-go. On #1000 Broccoflower, he wrote “My policy is to avoid all foods that look to be from outer space. Eggplant. Mushrooms. And, apparently, broccoflower.” On #885 Paying for something with exact change he wrote “I save all my pennies in my car. And then, the next time I do McDonald’s drive-through, I fling all the pennies into the server’s face. … No, actually, I put the pennies into the Ronald McDonald’s House box right underneath the window.” On #859 Playing with a baby and not having to change its diaper he wrote “I don’t mind changing my nephews diapers. It only got weird when they began to talk. Awkward!”
I loved his sense of humor and his way about himself. I loved how he laughed, frequently, at little things, and got so excited about tiny details most people overlooked. Chris and I spoke three or four times a week over the past year, in ten or fifteen minute snippets usually, but sometimes for an hour or two. He’d tell me about the sourdough bread he was going to bake that day, the elaborate meal he had planned for friends coming for dinner, or the New York Times article he read that I should check out. I would ask him for ideas for this page — he had plenty — and occasionally go on long rants about sports.
Chris died suddenly this past week. He was 32.
No amount of the usual closing rhyming couplets or fist-to-the-sky proclamations are going to bring him back. But I know he’s in a peaceful place and would want us all to just be happy, keep plugging, and enjoy our lives as full as we can. So thank you, Chris. You’ll always inspire me.
And you’ll always be so incredibly awesome.
This entry is in The Book of Awesome
Hi Neil,
I found this site through a link from Daily Dose of Imagery. I started scanning it and I’m amazed that these
I’m going through a tough relationship and reading about your personal life and how you’ve managed to maintain a positive outlook and remain dedicated to your list of 1000 awesome things, even through very rough patches really inspire me.
You have a gift for writing all the while really touching people’s souls. You have made me laugh out loud and bawl all in the course of a few hours.
Congratulations on the book and thank you.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
As others have said, what a beautifully written tribute. I especially liked the photos–Chris roundshouldered as he sent off his texts–so many places you shared together. I’m sorry.
A friend, Becky Blanton, sent me here today; I was never here before. I’ll be back. For your stories and the way you tell them.
True friendship – an amazing life to find.
May we continue to live as if each day were our last.
Thank you for this post
I’ve never been to this site before, never knew Chris – but you moved me to tears.
What an awesome way to keep him alive.
Sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy. I have also lost a friend recently and I will always be proud to say I knew them.
Hi Neil,
I just stumbled across your website through Chris Guillebeau’s AONC.. Awesome posts
What a wonderfully moving tribute to an amazing friend. I really wish I could share my life with such a great friend… It makes me really miss all the friends whom I have lost touch with after emigrating from my country.
I am very sorry for your loss. Your article has profoundly inspired me to be mindful of and be grateful for even the most simplest and the most minutest of things that really makes our life beautiful, meaningful and worth living.
Splendidly beautiful post. “Discovered” it through AONC’s newsletter and Chris Guillebeau’s mention of your book–which I simply must get. Best wishes.
What a surprise to run into this story about Chris Kim, via Chris Guillabeau. I’m very pressed for time today, but still got completely drawn into this detailed, completely alive portrait. I was utterly shocked at the end and welled up with tears. I’ve never read your writing before, I don’t know you, and I didn’t know him. But your piece made him fully alive to me.
I’d not even heard of your extremely awesome blog until reading Nancy White’s mention in the Star yesterday. I went straight to #829 in the middle of reading her article and fell through every emotion as I read about your dear friend. Touching and heartfelt and …well, awesome. I’m so happy to have found you and wish you well, always :)
I am sorry to hear about Chris. He sounds like a gem of a friend.
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I recently started reading this blog and I love it. I spend so much time here reading and smiling with a nod in agreement to so many awesome things.
I lost my best friend 4 years ago and I still miss him every day. This is the best post I’ve read so far. Keeping loved ones close to your heart…awesome.
I’ve never commented before… but I couldn’t help but do this one. I think the ability to remember a good friend and smile when something bad happens is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. It’s so hard to do and it’s probably the best tribute to the person there is. Thanks so much for taking the time to remind me of that.
You made me tear up. RIP Chris.
Hi,
I’ve just recently stumbled over this website after searching through the bowels of cyberspace to find something to read.
I’ve never been compelled to comment as much as I have now.
Your blog has been a part of the small handfuls of blogs worth reading.
This post was, by far, one of the best. Though I haven’t lost anyone dear to me, I know that eventually it’ll happen. And you’re right- to focus on the good friends and the fun times we had with them- even when we may not have lost them in death, but losing them to other people or losing touch with them- is worth so much more than a poem of despair. In fact, it’s totally…
…awesome.
Neil’s Chris has stirred all our deepest feelings that we so often keep under wraps. Through Neil, Chris’s sensitive simplicity will live on for millions of us. Feels like after rain when the world is fresh and clean again.
A subtle tear in my flu-fevered eye…
A touching story that fills me with sadness.
I had sort of hoped that you had missed on the title and that when I got to the end of the article this obviously awesome guy was still going to be alive. That just sucks. I got nothing uplifting to add, no ways of “making lemonade” –it just sucks. I guess I better start examining my own friends for previously ignored awesomeness.
Thanks.
I had sort of hoped that you had missed on the title and that when I got to the end of the article this obviously awesome guy was somehow still going to be alive. I guess that’s how his friends feel everyday.
Truly touching.. i’m so sorry for your lose. Most of us can relate easily. Just thinking that someday we might loose a close friend puts a lump in our throats, it’s not easy, and it will never be easy to loose a love one. That’s why i think every single living day is a chance to express your appreciation to your loved ones.
what an amazing tribute to a true friend, being an emotional guy I think it’ll take a couple of hrs for me to recover…cuz my heart sank as I read that line which said that chris died, being new to the site I didnt know abt him at all nd was thinking while reading the article ‘what an awesome dude this chris guy is!’ …but then.
Lump in your throat. That’s an awesome thing too.
Mr. Chris Kim, I salute you.
I’m so very sorry for your loss; he sounded like an amazing person, and I’m sure you’re lucky to have had him as a friend<3
This my first time on the site, I got an e-mail from chapters about the book(you know your a book worm when)and I thought I’d check it out so I came to this one #829 I was reading through it chuckling at the pictures when I got to the end and a lump started in my throat(it was one of those bitter sweet ones). I’m not going to “sorry for your loss” because it makes it sound really sad, and I dont think it should be sad but I will say thank you for reminding me how important it is to make the most of my time and have fun with those dearest to me. So again thank you.
touching. and your friend has been remembered.
I lost a friend to a drunk driving accident a while ago. I never cried about it until i read this post, i just kept it all inside and stopped thinking about him to try and make it go away.
Thanks very much for sharing
AWESOME that you loved him. Not that much awesome that he died. Very sad. It made me cry… I also have a very un-forgetful friend. She would do ANYTHING for me, and had a sense of humor. I bet Chris right now is still supporting you, even though you can’t see him, he is always by your side.
oh man, i just totally balled my eyes out reading this. and then i read the comments. and then i read the story all over again. eyes gushing all over again. never had that happen to me reading a blog, ever! two things must be true: 1. you are a supremely talented writer and 2. you had a supremely special friend.
honestly, i’m so sad not to have known chris personally! in some way though, thanks to your writing, i feel at least i did a little. thanks so much for sharing.
I love the pictures (especially the ones taken in Amarillo, Texas)! Your friend Chris sounds like an awesome guy. Thank you for sharing your memories.
I can’t stop crying, that was so beautiful :)
Great post, thanks! Maybe you could do a follow up article about this?
Friends are amazing to have and the time we get to spend with them is precious. Thank you for sharing about a great guy and an inspirational person.
I have just recently come across your site and I absolutely love it for many reasons. It wasn’t until losing my brother that I started to really look at what was beautiful and worth having in this world and your posts state those things so well. This post especially touched my heart because I know the pain of losing someone, but whenever something small happens that triggers a memory of him I smile so much and know he was an awesome person and so dearly loved as I can see that Chris was. Think of him often and smile wide knowing he is still with you in heart and spirit.
I had a best friend die and reading this post was truly touching. I started crying as soon as I read the title. Thank you for reminding me to remember my friend fondly. I spent some time thinking about how wonderful our time together was and I think that’s the point of this post. Thank you again.
That was pretty cool!
I don’t really know the right words to say except that that was a very touching and sweet tribute to your friend.
Now that is an incredible friend.
Both him, and you.
<3
this post was amazing…chris sounds like an amazing friend and this was a beautiful tribute to him :)
You’re doing a wonderful service to your viewers by opening up the remarks area, it’s a sensible way to connect with them. There are many resources here and thank you for being so kind to publish them.
I read your blog religiously everyday morning and it definitely brings a smile on my face…I love your writing.
when I first started working in US, i didnt have a car and this lady at my work place gave me a ride every single day for 6 months and also taught me how to drive and let me drive her car for 3 months…this blog reminded me of her immediately…having such unselfish friends is so awesome…
This one is really sad and I started to cry at the end…to have such an awesome friend is really awesome..May he RIP
Awesome post about an awesome friend.
i only discovered this blog today (through post secret) and it really brightened my day its already been made a bookmark and iv only read a few of the awesome things ! most of them brought a smile to my face even just the way they were written (seriously you have a talent for writting) but this one brought tears to my eyes your friend sounds like an amazing person, someone who brightened many a person’s day and still does even though he’s not with us anymore <3
I honestly cried when i heard i died i chuckled about the sourdough and the photos then cried at wehen i heard he had died he sounds like a great pal and we all missed out on his AWESOME life ;)
Thats a poignant account of memories about a friend. I am sorry Chris is no more. This post is what prompted me to submit my own post titled ‘Friends you have never met in life’ in your website! Its not about a friend whos gone though! its about a friend I have never met.. but is sooo close to heart..hes not in touch now..and along with a smile a few tears escape my eyes when i think of him..and tears are AWESOME too.. when you cry for your loved ones..! I hope my post gets published some day!