#529 Finally peeing after holding it forever

It didn’t used to be this way.

For hundreds of thousands of years our species peed freely, whenever, wherever. Yes, whether we were roaming jungles, crossing ice bridges, or having picnics in plains, it wasn’t always pretty but when nature called, we answered.

Things are different now.

Most of the time our bladders are all locked up.

Yes, with our stadium seating, boardroom meetings, kid’s soccer games, and smooth highway lanes, the one thing we didn’t build in was an easy way to clear some leaves and squat in the corner. Honestly, how many times have you been looking for parking and circling the lot, waiting for a movie to wrap up the plot, or just fumbling with keys so you can race to the pot?

Listen, I’ve been there too. Yes, it’s always a tight squeeze, with bouncing knees, and gritted teeth, but we accept this tradeoff in exchange for living in our bright and modern World of Pants. And a world where everybody wears pants is great, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that it cramps our style sometimes.

That’s why finally peeing after holding it forever feels so great. It’s like millions of years of animalistic need bursting through the chains and restraints of modern social norms. It’s the bathroom equivalent of a primal scream and it feels oh so incredibly


The New Yorker reviews The Book of Awesome (3 days!)

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Photos from: here and here

72 thoughts on “#529 Finally peeing after holding it forever

  1. Many male adolesents hold their full bladders all the time. But there is one problem. A bursting full bladder presses on the prostate and urethra. Then you can’t piss. It just won’t come out. After waiting at the toilet for 15 or 60 minutes, there will be a dribble and then all hell bursts out. Then you piss for 2 minutes with a massive amount of piss that stayed with you for 10 hours.

  2. For some both boys and girls who do Ecstasy may find that they will have to hold their bursting bladders for 10 or even 24 hours. The door just won’t open. Some even will have to go to the ER for catheterization, The problem
    can also happen for some over the counter drugs and with other medications.

  3. Not meaning to be rude but it reminds me of a dream where Deanna Troi from Star Trek the Next Generation was acting like she REALLY had to go. Do you think Deanna Troi finds it satisfying, too?

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