Monthly Archives: January 2011

Congratulations, Superdresser. You just saved twenty seconds of pushing that belt through your jeans tomorrow morning while bumbling around late for work. Also applies to leaving your shoelaces tied up, keeping your undershirt in your hoodie, and sleeping with your watch … Continue reading →

Say goodbye. Watch your high school pal slowly fade into the foggy shadows at the park after a long night catching up on the swings. Close the cab door on Grandma after the smoky bingo parlor clears out and watch … Continue reading →

Once upon a time I ran a sandwich shop. Yes, it was back in the early 00′s when I was a mayo-squirting kingpin working in the sticky, mustard-smeared sandwich underbelly. Surrounding me were a hodgepodge of acne-covered teenage longhairs who … Continue reading →

They make everything. AWESOME! Photo from: here

Get crackin’. Groggy and sore with jagged bedhead and an achy back you shuffle to the kitchen in stained sweats and mindlessly flick on the stove. Next it’s time to pop open the fridge and squint into the bright light … Continue reading →

They’re everywhere. . They’re on every bus we ride, sitting in every doctor’s office, and standing behind every take-out counter. They’re beside us on the sidewalk, in front of us at the ballgame, and behind us at the movies. . … Continue reading →

Snap on the spandex, turn on the hose, and let’s get down to business. Jumping through the sprinkler in your bathing suit is one of the greatest joys of childhood. Your backyard turns into a Waterpark as you pull off … Continue reading →

You just about took a nude and soapy tumble into that slippery ceramic tub. But then you didn’t. AWESOME! Photo from: here

Bumping bumpers is a bummer. Couple years ago my friend Allison was wheeling her rusty bucket into the library when she crashed into the parked car in front of her. When she got out to inspect the damage she noticed … Continue reading →

Come on in. Pull open the wooden door with those giant oversized handles that are smooth and worn down to a light brown finish. Drag your boots over the dirty green carpeted floor that bubbles up in the corners and … Continue reading →