Monthly Archives: January 2011

I used to hang out at Jean’s place. Yes, back when I was in second grade and my sister Nina was in Kindergarten we spent our lunchtimes and after schools at a do-it-yourself daycare run by a leathery old woman … Continue reading →

Sniff those powdery fresh fumes as you pick up that fuzzy bundle of flabby cheeks and drooly drips. Someone just had a bath. AWESOME! Photo from: here

Thanks for the helping hand, friendly stranger. AWESOME! Photo from: here

If you’re as bad at sweeping as I am then this is one of the few moments you get of complete cleaning catharsis. “Hey dust, you got cocky.” Also applies to hairballs. AWESOME! Photo from: here

Have you ever had a panzarotti? Well, if not then let me tell you that panzarottis are magical miniature pepperoni pizzas folded over into a giant doughy envelopes and baked to a golden brown crisp before being slathered with steaming … Continue reading →

I had a streak going. See, for the past two years I narrowly avoided getting sick. Have you ever made it through a winter or two with that kind of luck? It was my first time and let me just … Continue reading →

Baby, it’s true. Toss your mushy clump of skin, blood, and bones together and we get the beautifully strange and wonderful package that combines to form you. Jokes and smarts, stutters and starts, smile and farts — we’re into your … Continue reading →

Squeeze too much and you’re stuck with a syrupy red pool smeared across the side of your plate. Squeeze too little and you’ve got a cold and tasteless pile of potato blandness. Squeeze just right and you’re AWESOME! Photo from: here

Joey doesn’t have heat. Honestly, when I crashed at his cramped apartment a couple nights ago he welcomed me in wearing three sweaters and a set of chattering teeth while explaining that his apartment has no heat, so while he … Continue reading →

Hey, Mr. Bus Driver. Thanks for shortening our walk, thanks for making things easy, and thanks for breaking all the rules in the name of AWESOME! Thank you to The Globe and Mail for naming The Book of Awesome #1 on … Continue reading →