Monthly Archives: September 2011

Do you remember wearing a diaper? Well, you did, you did, and you looked good in it, too. You crawled around hallways, yanked the dog’s tail, and screamed like a banshee in that diaper-padded butt. Chances are good someone took … Continue reading →

I went to the airport yesterday. Obviously, I got jacked on parking and my little pickup turned into a twelve-dollar fine for swerving around the maze-like lot for twenty minutes. On my way out I stopped at the Pay For … Continue reading →

And that weird smushy brown thing on the bottom. AWESOME! Photo from: here

It’s the center of all taste. First off, icing that was smeared or drizzled on top a few hours ago is guaranteed to hit the cinnamon roll bulls eye which means your last doughy bite is loaded with that sweet … Continue reading →

Down with reality shows. Tossing strangers on a beach in Costa Rica, surrounding them with boom mics, and overdubbing dramatic music is starting to get old. I’m not saying sweaty cooking competitions, suspenseful scale weigh-ins, or watching people who think … Continue reading →

It’s time to forget the corporate bigwigs smoking cigars, swimming in gold bars, and driving fast cars for just a second. Suddenly you and the cashier are on the same team. AWESOME! I’ll be speaking at The Word on the … Continue reading →

Okay, you know what’s awkward? That ten to fifteen minutes before the movie starts on opening night. Seriously, it’s a jumpy whisper-fest in red plushy tundra as everyone runs in, jockeys for prime seats, and elbows for armrests. Saving seats … Continue reading →

Grocery shopping, cake making, and cake baking means somebody’s big wet eyes are twinkling like stars for you. Hey, they went to the store, dropped coin on flour, and waited in long lines before coming home and sweating up a … Continue reading →

Thank you cheap motel, apartment next door, or international airport. You just delivered four big bars of AWESOME! Photo from: Joey Harrison

We used to read newspapers. Do you remember waking up on Saturday morning and tiptoeing onto the ice cold porch to grab that tightly wound paper in the plastic bag? After tossing it on the kitchen table you’d tear it … Continue reading →