Monthly Archives: November 2011

Are you a fourth quarter fan? Those are the folks who flip the game on with five minutes left to catch the big finish. When it’s a lopsided score they shut it off but when it’s all tied up they … Continue reading →

I am a terrible baseball player. When I was in Little League we got to use aluminum bats but they were too heavy for my spaghetti-noodle arms to swing properly. Opponents caught on to my weakness pretty quick and I … Continue reading →

Bob, Betty, Barry, you don’t know the shame. Only Bilal, Baxter, and Bernadette know the pain of turning a squeaky metal rack full of tiny plastic doorplates and failing to find their name. My friend Agostino has a great story … Continue reading →

My buddy Mike’s a sugar rat. Whenever I visit his apartment downtown we end up watching movies, playing video games, and ordering pizza. And when we’re done snacking I always turn to him and say, “Hey man, you got any … Continue reading →

My first girlfriend may have been an alien. Sure, she looked normal, she dressed normal, she seemed normal, but she actually liked those oozing cherry-syrup-in-the-middle chocolates from the chocolate box. You know, the ones wrapped in gold foil and stuffed … Continue reading →

Sunshine scatters in speckled shadows on pebble-coated roads as you cruise through the neighborhood on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Tufts of grass punch through asphalt cracks, rusty sewers clink under your wheels, and kids race down crumbly sidewalks on wobbly … Continue reading →

It’s cold, it’s chilly, it’s November. That’s why was strange when my friend Jenn was dropping her daughter off at school last week and noticed a student wearing shorts. “Wait, it’s freezing out,” she said to her daughter while zipping … Continue reading →

When I drop a hard chunk of butter onto a slice of hot toast I like to pretend I’m an adventure guide helping a pack of rich tourists through some rough jungle terrain when we suddenly stumble upon some dangerous quicksand … Continue reading →

It all started with Murg Mirch Tikka. About ten years ago when I was crashing full-time at my parent’s place my friend Stephen and I would drive downtown for the weekend jams. Of course, by weekend jams I mean chicken finger … Continue reading →

Does your station have a tell? Sometimes it’s that little commercial before the break ends where the network just advertises itself for fifteen seconds. “Tune in afterwards for the news,” they say, as your eagle eyes and trigger thumb pound … Continue reading →