#950 Big, fat asses

And that's a good thing!

This ain’t no party line.

Let’s not talk about how you need to accept yourself for who you are, not what you look like, or how it’s what’s inside that counts. Let’s talk about the big ol’ side of ham hanging out the back of your pants. That’s a great side of ham for five big reasons:

1. Built-in seat cushion. Everywhere you go, everywhere you sit, things are just a bit more cushy. Tough bicycle seats on long bike rides, waiting chairs at the doctor’s office, the hard plastic fold-downs at the baseball game — yes, they all transform into soft and comfortable relax-o-sits. Practical and convenient.

2. You last the longest after a crash landing in the mountains. The skinny, bony people on your rugby team won’t last long camping out and shivering in the hollow, burnt-out fuselage. No, the harsh, unforgiving Andes will eat them right up. But your generous reserves will kick-in and start feeding the rest of your body so you’ll have more energy to flag down a plane.

3. Baby got baby. Larger rears often mean wider hips on women which means a body riper for fertility and making babies. If you want to have kids, you might find it a bit easier to do so. And hey, some of us wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for fat asses, so give it up, y’all.

4. Better conga line caboose. Say you’re at a wedding and Feeling hot! hot! hot! comes on. The crowd cheers and a giant, winding conga line begins snaking around the dance floor. Well, my friend, that big, fat ass you got is the best caboose on that conga line. So I say shake it. Nobody wants to see a rail-thin toothpick awkwardly shimmying at the back of the line. No, they want to see someone just loving it, just getting right into it, just shaking their ass like there’s no tomorrow. Olé, olé, indeed.

5. Say no to diabetes. According to these eggheads at Harvard, folks with a larger rear end may have a smaller chance of getting diabetes. Yeah, they call it subcutaneous fat, and it apparently helps improve sensitivity to insulin, which helps keep blood sugar in check. Thanks, Harvard! And thanks, fat ass!

So if you have a big, fat ass, I say love it for real. Because your big, fat ass is keeping you comfortable, helping you survive, pumping out babies, getting the dance floor hopping, and keeping diabetes in check. Just tell me that’s not


Photos from: here and here

Happy Friday, everyone!

Let’s have some fun this weekend!

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171 thoughts on “#950 Big, fat asses

  1. Your child’s first Christmas when they are old enough to know what’s going on and get really excited (in turn reigniting the excitement inside you).

  2. I know it wasonce said,Flying over mountains but what about looking out at,hiking on,following a stream down and gazing out over for strength… Mountains!

  3. A blogger’sbutt!similar to #1 but not exactly the same, yet necessaryat times like the night awesome hit #1…1st.time around…perhaps a new category, the long haul?!*

  4. waking up early in the morning, seeing the clock, and snuggling back into that blanket because you are still some time away from your wake up time..

    1. my brain conversion to yours,
      how’d she get that? was there a pic of a donkey’s…..? ohhhh,i see:)

      *Hearing a brain fart and then the fog clears~ awesome!

    1. Sooo awesome! I had surgery in April and couldn’t shower for 2 weeks after!!! The first shower lasted a L-O-N-G time and was brilliant!

  5. toddler kisses – the kind where they don’t really know how to pucker up so they just push their face against yours :)

    1. …and they grab your face with their sticky hands and leave a deposit of drool on your cheek, which would be gross except that it makes you feel incredibly loved because it comes from such a sweet little innoncent heart.

      Now I am going to check on my tweens as they sleep in this morning. I can still see their toddler faces in their pubescent ones. Awesome!

      1. and when they sort of gobble you up kind of kiss with open mouth and tongue hanging out like a puppy dog, SOOO beautiful Awesome!!!!

  6. RSS readers – I mean, how cool is it to read all your blogs (like 1000awesomethings!) in one place without having to bookmark a gazillion sites?

  7. instruction booklets from IKEA – the ones with all the drawings and no words that are so much clearer than anything written

  8. Getting free stuff at work. I had to sit through three meetings before lunch the other day, but during my second one, somebody brought out a bowl of snacks and some sodas that were left over from another meeting. It was a small gesture, but that Coke and pack of Oreos helped me get to lunch in an AWESOME way!

  9. Not being able to put a good book down. Keep telling yourself, “One more chapter – just one more chapter” until you realize it’s in the middle of the night.

  10. To hear a butterfly drink nectar!
    (Bekah will be here soon.I’m not sure if I should keep goiing or just order a calendar;)

  11. horses and bare-back riding through nature…when your horse and you have moments of stillness and oneness with all…tis divine awesome

  12. Huh… Well, when you put it that way, I guess large rears are indeed awesome. I never really thought about that before. This one really caught me by surprise. Anyway, happy Friday everyone.

    1. Happy Friday to you, Max! I have to finally tell you, I love the name Max! It’s used in an fabulous Woody Allen flick (Annie Hall). In it Tony Roberts calls Woody Max, though his character’s name is Alvy. He says, “Max, that’s a good name for you Max.” I called my cat Max after that movie. Now here I am, posting to Max! That’s Awesome! ~Kathy~

      1. Since we’re on the topic,
        My grandfather used to have a quote for people, places and things he found to be what we all refer to here as awesome~ He’d say, “Million Dollars!”
        And if you don’t mind my saying so, I think your comments Max-i-million!

        1. Thanks! Wendy and Kathy are pretty awesome names too. So is klalota. I love names in general. There’s so much history and meaning behind someone’s name. I usually meet more pets than people named Max.

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