#935 Eating cookies like Cookie Monster

It sure is a sign of gluttonous satisfaction when you find yourself home alone, slouching on the couch in front of the TV with your eyes half open, a steady trail of cookie crumbs dripping from your mouth onto your shirt and pants, chocolate smears on your lips and fingers, and the telltale cookie package laying beside you, the plastic tray peeled all the way out of the bag, entire rows laying vacant except for a bit of brown dust and maybe a rogue chocolate chip or two.

Yes, it’s satisfying all right, because many delicious cookies were eaten, without witnesses, in a very quick and steady stream, by shoving them into your mouth, chewing a few times, and then swallowing quickly to make room for the next one. You’re a cookie monster and you love it.

Eating cookies like Cookie Monster is great because, more than anything, it represents freedom. Yes, free thought takes you to the pantry, free will makes you grab that cookie package and sit down on the couch, and free Wonder Years reruns keep you company while you sit down and enjoy. You’re the Executive Chef in your personal Dessert Kitchen here. Just tell me that’s not liberating.

I mean, sure, we all know it’s not the greatest idea to eat a pile of cookies just before bed, but that’s not the point. The point is: you can do it. Yes, you’ve come a long way from the portion-controlled cookie snacks you got when you were a kid, that maybe two or three cookies in a small plate with a tall glass of milk that just whet your appetite for more. Now it’s all you all the time, baby. Nobody is going to stop you except you. You can eat a whole row. You can eat two whole rows. You can plough them in there. You can savor them slowly. The point is, it’s such a great feeling to scarf cookies without abandon like Cookie Monster.

Truly, he was the role model for us all.


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13 thoughts on “#935 Eating cookies like Cookie Monster

  1. I have 2500 words to write on the topic of polticians and privacy in news and current affairs. I have a further 2500 words to explore the issue of truth in non-fictional biographies. And then I have to study for my upcoming Italian oral exam.

    But now I feel like making cookies and eating one warm from the oven.

    You’re an evil, evil man Neil. ;)

  2. Oh my goodness that picture of chocolate chip cookies is torture! I usually have good self control, but that all went out the window when I was pregnant. There was one day I ate an entire bag of Cheese Puffs, a large amount of bing cherries, and guzzled a Dr. Pepper. After I finished I looked down my white shirt and saw that Cheese Puff crumbs and cherry juice were all over me. I had never felt such shame. Almost four years later I still won’t buy Cheese Puffs. I’m scared I’m not going to be able to control myself!

  3. Presently it’s cookie monster stage of the age right now for my grand-son, Noah. Everything he says and does is in Cookie Monster voice and style. At last nights dinner he’d tried the art with corn. Absolutely hilarious!
    *Thanks be to Cookie Monster for the permission, laughs and good times!*
    I said it before and I’ll say it again, there is no other way to eat cookies or any other foods we love, because we’re FREE to do so! Life would be dull and unfullfilling without cookies and the ability to eat them just like Cookie Monster! Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom, is not that far from OM~.~
    *Thanks be to Cookie Monster!*
    There is no shame, I tell you no shame! Only proudness for the poundness! When done, look down at the crumby mess, then look up, smile wide, and sing FREEDOM!
    Go ahead Sara Mc, buy yourself a bag of Cheese Puffs today and wear the crumbs like a flag of freedom! :)
    *Thanks be to Cookie Monster~ a truly Awesome role model=D

  4. Cookie Monster is my hero. He inspired my love of cookies from when I was a kid, and continues to do so. He was one of my favourite characters on Sesame Street. Now I’m hungry for cookies.

  5. Ok, I can’t say that I have ever eating cookies like this or even seen anyone do it, but it sure does sound interesting and very funny!!

  6. I don’t feel like the cookie monster, I actually am the cookie monster. I do it all the time, especially in the afternoons that I’m home doing nothing. I keep eating all those sweets all day long. At the moment I’m eating, i do have this feeling that I have the power to eat. However at the end of day when I look to all those empty plastics of cookies and stuff, I get a lot of remorse. I feel the worst person in the world. That’s why I’m always trying to stay busy every time, that’s the only way to keep my mouth closed.

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