#890 Really, really tall people

You can just feel that back pain

They’re tall and there’s nothing they can do about it except learn to live with their crazy tallness. For this reason, we respect them and think they’re cool.

If you’re really, really tall, you feel it, because this is your life:

Everyone hates you at movies and concerts. Sure, you get a decent sightline, but at what price? Everybody in the room resents you and you have to put up with constant shuffling behind you and people saying things like “Oh great, I’m stuck behind Stilts here.”

Guaranteed back pain. Duck into a car and lean over to tie your shoes enough times and you’ll eventually score some sharp, shooting pains in that lower lumbar.

Hard to date people. Well, not hard, but complicated. I mean, would you date someone really, really tall? If not, you see the problem here.

Size 'em up You are forced to play basketball. Doesn’t matter if you like it, doesn’t matter if you don’t — you just have to play. Also, if you’re no good, you’ll never hear the end of it, and if you are good, people will say it’s just because you’re really, really tall.

People always want you to get stuff from the top shelf. And guess what else you get when you pull down that giant soup pot nobody’s used in two years? That’s right: a big faceful of dust, that’s what. Hope you’re not allergic.

You’re always hitting your head on everything. If you’re really, really tall, you know what I mean, because your skull is full of spider cracks from chandeliers, basement stairwells, and overhead bins on airplanes.

Life is more expensive. Because raiseable desks, extra-long pants, and King-sized mattresses aren’t cheap, bro. You know that and I know that.

It really is a tough life.

So next time you see a really, really tall person, break out the empathy. Remember: they’re tall and there’s nothing they can do except learn to live with their crazy tallness. In this upside-down and inside-out world, that’s worth something. So throw them a smile and a nod, a solid high-ten, or just some quiet respect.



Photos from: here, here, and here


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22 responses to “#890 Really, really tall people

  1. It’s nice to be appreciated!

  2. As someone over 6’10 myself I can say from experience, that if you are REALLY REALLY tall, you dont hit your head anymore. The problem is when you are just a little tiny bit shorter than the door frames and other things (about 6’5ish). But when the chandelier, spider web or wall above the door frame is right in your face, you can avoid it no problem and you duck automatically.


  3. Max

    Aye, sometimes being tall isn’t so great. Respect the tall ones! I guess another sport you could play if you were really, really tall is volleyball. Nothing would get past the net with a tall person up front. This post made me see the downside of being tall, and has taught me a newfound respect for them.

  4. Sara Mc

    Almost all the women in my family are 6′ tall or close to it. I’m about 6″ shy if that and always considered myself short. A few years ago I was at a grocery store. I heard someone behind me ask for help getting something down off the top shelf. I knew she wasn’t talking to me, but I turned to see who she was talking to. She was talking to me! I happily retrieved what she was needing and handed it to her. I don’t think I would like doing that all the time, but it was pretty neat doing it that one time.

    • I’d love to have you to go shopping with! I’m always climbing on the shelves to get what I want when hubby’s not around. Yesterday… I was out shopping for Christmas on my lunch break and the toy that I wanted was on the top shelf stacked 10 high. I had to grab the lowest one on the shelf while standing on the bottom shelf and shimmy the box out of the pile. None dropped on my head that time, but I swear I should wear a helmet while shopping sometimes.

  5. I would totally date someone who’s really, really tall. They can reach the high shelves at the supermarket and kill spiders on the ceiling for me. :)

  6. Sarah

    Why would someone not want to date someone really tall? To judge someone on their height alone is stupid and offensive.

    • I don’t think it’s about judgement. It made me think of those old American flicks where the nervous high-schoolers are slow-dancing at the prom, with the girl’s head tilted way up to make eye-contact with the tall fellow.

      …Or the other way around. I think there’s a sense of “tradition”, for lack of a better word, that makes many girls reluctant to date a bloke who’s is much shorter than they are.

      But, of course, nobody (I hope!) would judge someone from their height alone, just as you said. :)

      • I can say that I’ve never dated a guy that’s shorter than me… but I’m so short its very hard to find a guy that’s shorter!

        • I’m with you there!

          Although, I’m always amused when I look at my Yr.10 formal photo. In my heels, I was about half a centimetre taller than the guy I went with. About a month later, he had a final growth spurt, and shot right up!

      • PS.. I love seeing really tall girls in really tall heels. It shows that they are proud of who they are and not afraid to stand out above the crowd.

  7. haha.. this is interesting post.

  8. All of my brothers are tall. I don’t know what happened. I”m so short and they’re so tall. They make fun of me for it. Hubby is also really tall. I love getting him to get things off a tall shelf for me and I laugh when he hits his head on stuff.

  9. zack

    Have always wanted to be really tall dough…was really short when I was small…nd people always tried to intimidate me nd all, but no one rily tries to mess with a tall guy, although height isn’t proportional to strength or anytin but stil, how do u intimidate sm1 when you can’t even see his face.

  10. klalota

    I would think the nicknames and jokes must become tiresome. Every height has its pluses and minuses, I suppose.

  11. Very neat blog.Much thanks again.

  12. Mia

    Beautiful essay, got the enjoyment of reading

  13. derpyme

    im 11 and 5’4, hope to be at at least 6′ by 20. i get made fun of all day, but the guys tend to be scared of you…

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