#856 The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner


There are two kinds of chicken wings.

First up, there’s the Baby Drumstick. You know the one. It’s a cute, little baby drumstick dripping in wing sauce. It’s the JPEG attachment you’d expect to see on a “We had a baby!” email sent to you from a couple buckets of KFC. It’s so cute and drippy, too — and look, it has its mom’s stick, its father’s drum.

Then there are the Flat Pats. Think of it this way: if Baby Drumsticks are the thick, meaty bicep wings, then Flat Pats are the forearms. And, like a forearm, they’ve got two bones, which means you have to tear them apart to get at the tasty meat inside. Don’t dismiss Flat Pats, though. Even though they may not have the Baby Drumstick’s sex appeal, they come through in the clutch.

You're salivating, admit itNow, some people prefer Baby Drumsticks. Others go for the Flat Pats. Just like some people like their wing sauce mild, some like medium, and some say “Go suicide or go home.”

But people, that’s where The Perfect Wing Partner comes in. He or she is that special someone who likes the exact same sauce as you but the exact opposite wing type. You like medium? Perfect, so does she. What, you’re a Baby Drumstick kind of guy? Great, she’s into Flat Pats all the way.

Face it: While you two are chowing down and enjoying your sticky, late night bar food together, there’s a good chance you’ll both glance up at the same time, your sauce-soaked chins glimmering under the neon Coors Light sign, and know, right then, right there, that you’ve just met your Perfect Chicken Wing Partner for life.

And when that day comes, my friend, it will so surely be


Let the magic happen

Photos from: here, here, and here

8 thoughts on “#856 The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner

  1. I like all of them! I could be anyone’s Perfect Chicken Wing Partner! Except those who love spicy sauce, or “suicide sauce” as I have just learned it is sometimes called. Maybe if I was armed with a large glass of water and a fire extinguisher, then I would be ready to take on the infamous spicy sauce.

    1. I like mine hot and spicey, but I’ll take them any way. If I’m with someone that wants to split some wings, I let them pick since not many people like the really hot, burn in your throat, tongue on fire, eyes watering, nose dripping wings.

  2. I remember this one from the first time ’round. It may have been the first post I read upon discovering AWESOME. Pretty cool! Me? I’ma love me some baby drumsticks, so I could share some wings with badguylover up there or Max. I’m pretty flexible, though…if someone else only eats the baby drumsticks, I will eat the flat pats no problem.

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