#818 When the dentist says you have no cavities

Sit back and relax

Cavities hurt.

Yesterday I got two of them filled real tight with the hard, white cake.

First they sat me down in the loungy, blue leather dentist chair and then tipped me back so the blood poured into my brain and filled up my eyeballs. Then they dressed me up with a plastic bib and goggles before stuffing my mouth full of cotton balls. After that it was time to get my teeth tapped and clanged with mirrors and picks while the hygienist struck up a fascinating conversation about her mother-in-law’s unwillingness to acknowledge the length of her commute.

And that was just an introduction to the ninety minute main attraction.

Me in a dream I once had

Soon it was time for a couple injections of freezing goop to the gums, some deep-sea drilling, and a lot of Tooth-Sawdust Water splashing in every direction, misting up my goggles, spraying on my arms, dripping down my numb lips. Cheek and jaw muscles I barely used soon started to fail on me after trying to keep my metal-stuffed mouth open for so long. And of course, every once in a while they’d ask if I wanted to spit but before I’d have a chance to squeeze out a “Enn unnay, angs” I was generally interrupted by twenty more minutes of sharp and forceful drilling.

It was long.

And it was terrible.

And it cost $300.

But it helped me dream of better days, when the dentist would clink around in there for a few minutes, put his tools on the side table, flash a thumbs up and say “No cavities!” At least that’s how I imagine it would happen. Then instead of putting up with a long and painful ordeal, I’d just sail off into the sunset, congratulating myself on some mighty fine brushing, some thorough flossing, and a job well done.

AWESOME!

sail-into-the-sunset

Photos from: here , here, and here

15 thoughts to “#818 When the dentist says you have no cavities”

  1. Boy…I liked the “subject line” but am very dissapointed in the majority of this post. We have been in dentistry 23 years (my husband is an excellent dentist) and our patients are pampered. It’s hard enough to educate people on the importance of taking care of one of the most important parts of their bodies – their mouths – the health of your mouth is a systemic matter and many people have a real fear of the dentist from their childhood experiences – I think you could have gotten the point across that it’s a great feeling to hear “no cavities” because you care not just your dental health but your overall health as well, without painting that horrible picture.
    I have followed your posts and put them on my facebook, for a couple years now since seeing you at our conference. I have now become an ‘unsubscriber’

    1. I’m one of your biggest fans, Shelly! I love the dentist! Nothing like getting every nook and cranny checked and cleaned to make me feel a spring in my step. I always leave thinking everyone will surely notice how clean and white my smile is after the cleaning! Of course, no one really does, but that doesn’t dampen my mood. :)

    2. I hope you’re exaggerating, Shelly! Fair enough — it mustn’t be fun to hold a career riddled with stereotypes. But let’s face it: no one (…except klalota, it seems!) likes going to the dentist. It’s scary and expensive. I feel Neil was just highlighting his own unpleasant experience to further emphasise the sheer awesomeness that comes from knowing your mouth is healthy, and the whole ordeal can be avoided.

      If you and your husband go out of your way to make sure that your patients are happy, then you are both undoubtedly AWESOME.

      But don’t unsubscribe because of one post that didn’t sit right with you. If we all did that, there’d be no one left to enjoy the little things.

    3. I think that this is exaggerated a little, but your reaction is way over the top. Most people hate going to the dentist, and yes that includes me. It is not a fun feeling to be told that you have cavities that need filling, and then to have your mouth numbed, drilled and kept open for an hour with only the occasional spit break. It is a great feeling to be told that you have no cavities, yes because that means that you’ve taken good care of your oral health but also because you get to save yourself this long painful ordeal. I have a very low pain thresh hold, and I am deathly afraid of needles. Once I got a couple of fillings done, and after that experience I have never gotten one since.

  2. I’m one of those oddballs who love the dentist! I’ve had my share of cavities, but there’s nothing quite like that wonderful teeth cleaning to leave the pearly whites feeling smooth as glass! I never even had novocaine ’til I was long an adult. I guess I just don’t have as many nerve endings in my mouth as others…dunno. The drilling just didn’t bother me that much. So, hip hip hooray for dentists, teeth cleaning, and no cavities!

    1. I envy you, klalota! I haven’t been to a dentist in… Well, let’s just say it’s been longer than the recommended annual check-up! Partially due to lack of money, partially due to mind-numbing FEAR.

      Don’t get me wrong — I love that feeling of pearly whites, too! But I can’t bring myself to sit in that chair. Too many bad memories from years of wearing braces… *shudders*

      1. lovethebadguy…. I didn’t go in years and when I finally got up enough courage to go, I got the best cleaning ever and found out I had 3 cavities. And it really wasn’t as bad as I had remembered it being. Plus side is, my insurance covers all cleanings and 80% of anything else that needs done.

    2. The first time I started regularly going to the dentist, they had to do a deep cleaning. I mean deep. I opted for no kind of numbness since I had passed out before because of the numbing stuff. I can’t have the adult doses of the stuff, so I get the kid stuff and I get to choose my flavor. Anyway… After every tooth I was asked if it hurt and if I wanted the numbing stuff. I kept saying no. It hurt, but not enough to be a wuss about it. And I gotta tell ya, that was the best cleaning I had ever gotten. It was a new dentist and the first time I had been in years, so it was very needed.

  3. I used to hate going the dentist. I brushed and flossed and still had cavities. I couldn’t stand the sound of the metal tools clicking against my teeth. I had jaw problems as well, so holding my mouth open that long and wide really hurt. I even passed out once when he numbed me. That was the first time that the dentist ever gave me a piece of candy. I passed out, they gave me smelling salts and then a Milky Way. But nowadays, I’m not so bothered by the clinking noise and my jaw doesn’t hurt nearly as bad. I also haven’t passed out since the first time. I don’t even mind when I do have to get a filling. I just sit back and enjoy the time I get to sit and not have to do anything but keep my mouth open. I didn’t need a filling last time I went and I do belive that was the first time in my life. To be fair, I didn’t regularly go to the dentist until about 2 years ago.
    My daughter doesn’t mind it either. She just hopes that when she has a loose tooth that the dentist doesn’t pull it out.

  4. I’ve never gotten a cavity ever! The dentists are always shocked and horrified to find that I don’t even know how to floss. I feel like one of these days I’ll end up getting one. I should probably learn to floss one day.

    1. Not flossing is going to come back and smack you in the face one day. You’re not young forever and it all catches up with you. Today would be a good day to start.

  5. Thank to you doctor Deva lakshmantemple@gmail.com for helping me to get back my happiness after many years in trying to get a baby and even my mother in law want me out of my husband house because of not been able to give birth to a child for her son until you cast a spell for me and told me that i was going to get pregnant i never believe i was going to be able to get pregnant until now i want to say big thanks to you Dr.Deva i was put to bed last month and so i am happy to tell people about your work.

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