#720 The final seconds of untangling a really big knot

undo that knotI don’t know how to tie my shoes.

I know, I know, it’s terrible, it’s embarrassing, but I seriously can’t tie my shoes the way most people do. I just — my fingers don’t slide the right way. When I try the loop-around-and-pull-through move I end up with a limp and loose version of the finished product. As a result, I’m stuck with The Bunny-Ears Method also known as The Double Loop or Grandma Knot. Yes, I make a loop with my right hand, a loop with my left, and then I tie them together. It’s a tiny bit slower, but that’s not the worst of it.

The worst of it is that it often results in massive, tightly wound knots that take forever to untie.

The Bunny Ears MethodAs a result, I try to avoid tying my shoes altogether. Instead, I spend one or two minutes wedging and banging my foot into them each time I leave the house. Although this technique results in completely squashing the back of my shoe, I find it preferable than sorting out the grandaddy knot waiting for me down there.

But sometimes there is no choice.

See at some point my scraggly knot will lay lazily on the side of my shoe staring up at me with its sad, dusty face. And I can only smile wearily, shake my head, and sit down on the step, and get ready to slog away in the five-minute heavyweight title card of Me Vs The Knot.

order a pizza insteadI’m not going to lie: I often lose this battle, choosing instead to throw on a pair of sandals or stay home and order pizza. But there are also days where I come out on top. There are days where I stick my fingernail in there as hard as I can and pick and pick and pick until the lace finally starts to give. And then I start pulling it this way and that way until I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, the moment of truth, the dream becoming a reality.

Those final few seconds of untangling a really big knot happen in a hazy slow-motion. A twisted lace becomes loose, and then another, and then there is some frantic untying as it all comes undone.

Yes, whether it’s headphone wires, Nintendo controllers, phone cables, or skipping rope, it sure feels great during the last few seconds of untangling that tightly tied mess.

AWESOME!

37_knotPhotos from: here, here, and here

Illustration from: here

12 Comments

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12 responses to “#720 The final seconds of untangling a really big knot

  1. Ruthy Toothy

    I’ve experienced that awesomeness three times already today, courtesy of my son, who is nearly 4 years old. Thank you for the reminder to ignore the fruatration of untangling the same string over and over, and focus instead on that awesome feeling of having defeated the uberknot!

  2. Pam

    I actually enjoy untying knots for some strange reason. Like last summer when my kite crashed into a tree and I was left with a beautiful bunch of knotted up string. Unfortunately my mom threw it away before I could finish but I still enjoy those last few seconds of untying the knot

    • klalota

      Me, too, Pam! It’s like finishing a puzzle (#724)…the satisfaction is immense! That being the case, I rarely have knots to unknot as most of my shoes don’t have ties. My sneakers have strings, but, like Neil, I squish my feet in without untying/tying because…well, that’s its own satisfaction (truly, it is NOT because I just can’t be bothered to go to the trouble to tie my shoes…REALLY!)! Sliding my foot into my sneaker without crumpling the back…AWESOME, too!

  3. 3 kids + hockey + soccer + everyday shoes = who knows how many knots I’ve tackled, but it explains the calluses on my hands.

  4. Christmas lights.

    The horror…

    …THE HORROR.

  5. Reblogged this on Modern Damsel in Distress and commented:
    agree! It’s the moment of victory!=)

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  7. Wendy

    I just did this, this very morning with a massive bunch of patio dragon fly lights! At one point I wasn’t sure if I was going to start to cry over them and then all of a sudden the whole tangled mess started to make sense!!! I do believe this is the magical moment and I felt such a sense of relief and OM proudness!!! Now to hang the swing in some wood that’s not rotten so I don’t fall on my butt next time I sit in it; hang the lights and enjoy~ ahhh:)

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