#703 Scoring the perfect patch of clean grass to sit on at the park

perfect patch of grassHere’s how to find that magic grass:

1. Dampness Double-Check. Nobody likes a wet bottom. Keep your backside dry by spying classic signs like slightly dipped areas that pool water or permanently shaded patches that don’t dry up. May also be worth tapping the ground to check with your hand or doing a 5-second Practice Sit, which involves sitting down and staring straight ahead while activating the cold, wet sensors in your sweatpants.

2. Sticks and stones. They may break your bones, but more importantly they’re just no fun to sit on because they’ll jab your rear and slip in your pockets. Plus, they’re a dangerous omen of protruding tree roots, prickly weeds, and grassless patches of hard dirt. Stay away.

3. Temp check. On hot days you’re looking for shady patches under tall trees, on cool days you’re scoping sunny spots by the sandbox, and sometimes you can’t decide so you search for that perfect square of half-and-half.

stay away from these guys4. Frisbee Lookout. Some parks have a lot of activities going on. Shaggy-haired dudes in hemp necklaces and bare feet toss Frisbees, dads play catch with their kids, and tiny toddlers in T-shirts and diapers run around playing Chase The Dog or Run till you Faceplant. If you’re looking to relax, you’ve got to avoid this happy chaos.

Yes, sometimes sunny Saturday afternoons are just begging for a casual walk down to your local park. Grab a coffee, throw the kids in a stroller, or walk a dog with friends. As that warm breeze blows by just close your eyes and enjoy a few quiet minutes of relaxing and soaking it all in.



perfect patch of grassPhotos from: here, here, and here

Illustration from: here

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