#445 Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it

Gardening ain’t for sissies.

Nope, if you’re getting down with the kneel down you know planting flowers, growing herbs, and trimming hedges is tough business, baby. Sun’s beating wavy rays, dirt’s clumping in your eyes, and worms squiggle in all directions as you attempt to plant petunias.

Those weeds are the worst of all.

Sharp stems and jagged leaves spread in all directions they slowly smear across the garden — devouring pristine patches of grass and gobbling up innocent tulips.

That’s why it’s a great feeling when you pull a weed and get all the roots with it.

First you eye it slowly and grab as close to the base as possible. Next you gently yank and wiggle it a little bit to lower its defenses and loosen it up. Then it’s time for the big moment where you quickly pull it straight up and outta the dirt.

Seeing a long trail of dirty roots hanging below that weed you just pulled out of the garden?

Say it with me now.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

#446 When your plugged up nostril just suddenly opens up with no warning

Nose, what’s your deal?

We’ve been cursing you for the past hour for your snotty head-plugging ways. Breathing wasn’t happening and we were left mouth-gasping for air every few seconds to bypass your thick bulletproof wall of headglue. And you remember when we tried blowing our brains into some tissues to clear your salty facejam, right? All we got for our troubles was wet Kleenex bits stuck to our upper lip and a pair of eyes popping from the pressure.

So we gave up, we gave in, we gave it our best shot. We figured you won the war so we slumped our shoulders and walked away with our noses red like Rudolph and our jaws dropped like Big Moose.

But then after wrestling down our defenses you decided to suddenly just … open up without warning! Big winds rushed and gushed through our lungs and the weight of the world was lifted. We leaned back and sniffed in deep breaths, fresh air, and a whole new life.

We don’t know why, we don’t know how, and we don’t care. Nose, thanks for the random drips, thanks for the sweet relief, and thanks for the big giant breath of

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

#447 Walking into a crowded party and locking eyes with someone you know across the room

Ding-dong.

The door opens to you on the porch in your just-washed jeans and crispy clean shirt staring into a sweaty sea of strange faces. You walk in and stumble past a pile of shoes and a kissing couple while awkwardly scanning the room for some friendly faces. Stepping a bit deeper into the anonymous bass-thumping scene you move past empty bowls of chips, slippery wet countertops, and loud laughs … wondering for a second if you’re in the right place.

Then it happens.

You make laserbeam eye contact with a close friend smiling across the crowded room.

Suddenly it’s all confirmed.

You belong here.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#448 The smell and feel of bedsheets that dried in the sun

Drift and dream into that crispy clean.

It’s always good when you can leave the sheets outside and let the sun do what the sun does best: be hot, heat things up, keep being hot. Just clothespin your business to the line, point up at the giant fireball in the sky and say “Over to you.”

Soon you’ll be spreading those sun drenched sheets over your mattress and curling into their warm wind-swept arms as you slip and fade into a cozy little world of

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#449 Staying up so late that everything becomes funny

Midnight is long gone.

Maybe you’re crowded around a kitchen table pasting construction paper onto poster board, squirreled into sleeping bags on a cold basement floor, or drinking cold coffee and leaning over laptops before tomorrow’s big deadline.

Either way, it’s time to face facts: you’re up way too late.

Your eyes burn a bit, your head spaces out, random arms or legs starts throbbing, and maybe your scalp gets really, really, really, really itchy. Point is, you’ve ignored your body’s Go to Sleep signals for hours so now you’re hunched over a walking stick squinting deep into the foggy darkness of four, five, six in the morning.

The good news is your brain has developed just the system to charge you up with extra juice and help you power through. Yes, we’re talking about massively lowered Standards of Hilarity which help make everything funny. Someone steps on Styrofoam Jupiter, kicks a can of Coke onto the pizza, or accidentally deletes the Powerpoint slides, and suddenly everyone looks up at each other with tired raccoon eyes and… just starts cracking up.

Late night laughing is a beautiful moment because we’re letting ourselves stand up and step back from whatever’s keeping us up. Gone are the stresses of the group project, hanging dread of the deadline, and tensions tying us together. Now the differences dissolve and we realize we’re all part of the same Bleary Eyed Giggling clan — telling bad jokes, laughing till it hurts, and smiling till sunrise.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

#450 Horrible fake accents made by close friends

Believe it.

It’s your girlfriend at the lunch table doing her dad’s lecture with a bizarre sailor with a sore throat inflection. It’s your grandson at Thanksgiving pretending to be his angry first grade teacher, hitting the squeaky high notes with fist thumps and furrowed brows. It’s your best friend giggling on your bed about her new college classmates who sound like they’re all from a tiny island off a made-up country.

There’s just something hilarious about watching a good friend tell a story with a horrible accent. If you’re lucky the terrible impersonation becomes a new joke itself and you end up laughing in a neverending cycle of

AWESOME!

#451 Somehow waking up at the right time even though you forgot to set your alarm clock

That was a close one.

Last night you hit the pillow without a safety net and fell into a free-falling slumber with no end in sight. You could have slept all day, you could have slept all night, but somehow you got up just in time. Yes, you sprung up like a Jack-in-the-Box with your heart beating, eyeballs popping, staring in shock at your curiously quiet clock.

But that’s when you suddenly tap your temple with your finger and nod a slow nod at the genius of your own brain. Thank goodness that pink fleshy lump knew the deal and stayed awake counting seconds all night so you could pop up right when you needed to.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

#452 Picking things up with your feet

Embrace your inner monkey.

Dirty crumpled socks, dropped Doritos, rogue pen caps: We see you there. Yes, we see you right in the crosshairs of our toes and we’re about to scoop you up with a good old fashioned foot scrunch.

Bending over is overrated.

Picking things up with your feet is

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#453 Getting all sweaty and jumping in

Time for some fun in the sun.

Spiking volleyballs in the backyard, tossing frisbees at the beach, or just running around in your bathing suit on the scorching sand, it’s always fun getting hot and sweaty before racing to the edge of the dock or tip-toeing to the front of the diving board. Now with your forehead dripping, eyeballs stinging, skin sticky and sweaty, you stare into the deep water and smile before splashing right into a cool refreshing world of

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#454 When you manage to get ready super fast when there’s no time to shower

My friend Mike taught me the power of Mustache Maintenance.

Whenever we running late on a Friday night back in college Mike would race up the stairs and shave off his mustache fuzz in ten quick seconds. It took away his dirty upper lip look without taking all the time of a full shave and we’d be on our way to meeting friends at the bar without spending much time getting ready.

Over the years whenever I’ve been running late for school, work, or a social event I’ve pulled off Mustache Maintenance with great results. Because let’s face it: whenever you don’t have much time to get ready it’s always beautiful when you can just sorta fake it:

1. The Old Spice Shower. Sure, the full shower’s great if you can get it, but there’s only five minutes to spruce up it’s time for a few swipes of deodorant, a spray of perfume, and the ol’ sniff test. Feel free to wet your hair a little bit too.

2. The Underwear Refresh. Sometimes you’re a little sweaty down there but there’s no time to pick out a new wardrobe. That’s when you strip it all off, swap the dampness for dryness, and get back to business. Sweaty socks, wet undershirts, everything must go!

3. Ditch the kicks. Cramming your feet in there and tying up shoelaces could slow you down so consider scrapping the shoes and hitting the town in socks only. (Note: Only applies to babies.)

4. The Smooth Strip. If you’re wearing a business suit but don’t have time to iron your entire shirt then just take care of the little front patch that people will see. Make sure to leave your jacket on all day otherwise everyone will call you Ol’ Wrinkly Arms.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with some serious primping and preening before the party. All we’re saying is that when you don’t have time to get clean and groom then it’s fine landing somewhere in between. Just relax knowing you put on a good face even though you didn’t have time to wash it.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here