Year: 2011

#309 When you’re sleeping and the sounds around you turn into dreams

Neil Pasricha 41 Comments

Snores are steam trains, clock radios are car alarms, and the neighbor building a deck outside is suddenly knocking urgently at your front door.

When the sounds around your sleeping self magically morph into new stories in new worlds it’s a sign that the plump pile of pink flesh floating inside your head bone has a pretty wild imagination and is capable of turning tiny things into big ideas.

Your eyes are closed, your fingers limp, and your breathing is as deep and rhythmic as ocean waves … but lightning flashes in your brain, faces flash and stories strain, as you float deeper and live longer through otherworldly travels and thoughts.

When you wake up don’t forget to keep bubbling with big ideas, race those winning races, and keep your heart beating fast in heart beating moments.

Being a dreamer is great fun.

Being a dreamer is

AWESOME!

A Special Announcement from Neil

Hi everyone,

The Book of (Even More) Awesome comes out April 28th and I’m super pumped about it! I hope you’ll help me celebrate with The Launch of Awesome which starts today and is a self-organized and self-funded offer to all awesome fans who pre-order a couple books.

First, a few words on the book itself: it’s a 400-page hardcover full of hundreds of awesome things with lots of favorites from the blog (like finally peeing after holding it forever, sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater, and seeing old people holding hands) and lots of brand new awesome things  (like getting tucked in, a good turnout on your birthday, and puppy breath.)

The Launch of Awesome is a limited time attempt to thank you for pre-ordering with autographed bookplates, awesome magnets and postcards, exclusive eBooks, and phone calls! And also, fingers crossed we can get the book off to a great start by trying to hit bestseller lists in the first week. (All pre-orders count towards first week sales.)

There are two simple steps to participating in The Launch of Awesome!

1. Pre-order copies of The Book of (Even More) Awesome from any online retailer

2. Fill out the form over here

That’s it! After that you sit back and wait for your homemade package to arrive. Now, this is an entirely self-funded and self-organized promotion and I’m trying really hard to say thank you to all of you as best I can. My mom and my sister Nina are doing all the mailouts and Nina’s kitchen is literally full of cardboard boxes right now. An unbelievably huge thank you to them for helping with all of this.

The Launch of Awesome runs until April 28th or until the prizes run out, whichever comes first. After that, it’ll be gone, gone, gone like the wind.

I can’t thank you enough for your support and click here to see the awesome offers!

Neil

Photos from: here and here

#310 Laughing in bed

Neil Pasricha 43 Comments

Flip the switch.

After touch-feeling your way past the bed frame and slow-peeling your way under the sheets you blindly slip and shiver into the cool and cozy comfort of your beautifully dented bed.

And whether you’re giggling in the bunks with your brother, whispering in sleeping bags at a slumber party, or just lazing around on a sleepy Sunday morning with your wrinkly sweetheart of fifty years… well isn’t it a beautiful moment when you’re suddenly smiling in pitch blackness and laughing in a pajama-clad moment of intimacy.

Laughs in bed are a little bonus at the end of a long day.

AWESOME!

There will be an announcement on 1000 Awesome Things this Monday.

Photo from: here

#311 Finding out what song is in that commercial

Neil Pasricha 50 Comments

Your brain is glue.

Long after the cars are finished off-roading up a mountainside or speeding around a cliffside bend the jingle-jangly tune that accompanied those smooth rolling moments is still smooth rolling around your head.

Yes, it bumps around your brain at the office and you find yourself finger-tapping the steering wheel home. It jumps around your brain in the shower and you find yourself humming when you’re all alone. So maybe you search online for broken lyrics until you find spam-filled discussion boards full of other people looking for the same tune.

But that’s what makes it so great when you ask your friends, you wait for it again, you look online, and eventually find those few blissful minutes of soul-strumming

AWESOME!

There will be an announcement on 1000 Awesome Things this Monday.

Photo from: here

#312 The sound of a train coming into the station

Neil Pasricha 53 Comments

First you wait.

Cold wind whips you on the lonely platform as you shudder and shuffle in the rain. Whether you’re catching the commuter train downtown, backpacking home from college, or visiting in-laws out of town you’re alone in that barren platform zone, baby.

So you wait … and wait … and wait … and wait… and wait… and wait… and wait…until!

There is a light.

Yes, staring down those distant rails you spot a tiny yellow light glowing like a flashlight of hope at the top of dark well. Reflections flicker and shine off the metal rails and suddenly your desire, dreams, and destiny all twist into a long string of giant metal cars rushing and rumbling towards you.

Crowds jostle and businessmen sigh while bells start ringing and babies cry. If you’re lucky you might get that whisper-flipping sound of a thousand panels in an old train schedule board flipping all at once while the chugging engines and screaming steam whips the wind together and that streaking steel finally slows to a screeching stop.

AWESOME!

There will be an announcement on 1000 Awesome Things next Monday.

Photos from: here and here

#314 Watching bartenders work really fast

Neil Pasricha 30 Comments

It’s more than a pour.

Watching a bartender work really fast is like staring through the factory glass and watching all the whirring parts bump and grind before your beautiful finished drink pops out. Yes, you’re the foreman in a hardhat standing with a clipboard and a smile watching all the bells ring, springs spring, and assembly lines ding before a glass full of ice, cherries, and umbrellas pops out right before your eyes.

Now, there are some key moves mastered by most really, really fast bartenders:

1. Throwing things. There’s no time to place the bottle cap in the trash can so it’s important to fling it off the mirror and let it Plinko down between all the vodka and Peach Schnapps bottles on the bar.

2. Absolutely no talking. In a way really, really fast bartenders are like really, really fast mimes. Usually they’ll raise their eyebrows or put their ear in for the order and then immediately start slicing lemons, stirring glasses, and squeezing taps without speaking. Black clothes and painted teardrops optional, unless you’re in a goth bar.

3. No official measurements. Forget the rules because really, really fast bartenders trust their eyeballs and know their mix ratios cold.

Yes, when you watch a bartender work really fast you’re seeing an expert in action. Eyes are focused, feet are fleet, and hands are steady in these beautifully intense scenes of quick pours, expert fills, and fast and furious moments of

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

#315 When someone decorates your locker or cubicle for your birthday

Neil Pasricha 50 Comments

It’s your second home.

Sure, you might shower and sleep on a suburban street but you probably spend most of your waking hours somewhere else — at a high school, in a cubicle, at the factory, on a  farm. Maybe your second home is a dimly-lit and dusty hallway or maybe it’s a dirty desk near the bathroom.

That’s why it’s such a beautiful moment when you arrive at that second home and find it completely decorated for your birthday. Yes, the gang all pitched in to tie streamers around your monitor, tape Hubba Bubba wrappers to your locker, or drape a spraypainted bedsheet reading “Happy 40th!!!” around the grain silo.

It’s a sign behind all those marathon meetings, late-night projects, and crazy deadlines there’s a bunch of great folks who care about you. When your daytime pals celebrate another year of your life it’s another moment of smiles, another moment of laughs, and another big moment of

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

#316 Grabbing a tissue at the last second before sneezing

Neil Pasricha 24 Comments

You’re Jack Bauer.

The clock’s clicking and sweat is pouring down your forehead because you know a bomb is about to go off… on your face! You can feel that sneeze tingle up where your brain connects to your eyeball and you know it’s about to boom out in a showery snotstorm the likes of which this dentist’s waiting room has never seen before.

Now it’s time to look left, look right, and get ready to pull off one of three big moves:

1. Slime Explosion. You didn’t make it. Cue the Family Feud buzzer. Nope, after frantically checking your pockets and combing through your glove compartment you eventually came up empty as the sneeze blew out your face. Now your hands are drenched, your lips are sticky, and you’re disgustingly snotty slimeball of humiliation. Time to find a bathroom or get licking. (-5 points)

2. The Understudy. This is where you couldn’t find a tissue but managed to sneeze into a substitute, just in the nick of time. Yes, you scrounged whatever random thing you could find in two seconds and now you’re holding a slippery n’ soggy Burger King placemat, grocery store receipt, or sweatshirt sleeve. (+5 points) (Note: +3 bonus points are awarded for pulling this off while holding a cafeteria tray in both hands.)

3. Mission Accomplished. You made it! You tapped your jeans pockets, fumbled through your fat purse, or ran to the bathroom as that sneeze was ticklingly the top of your nose. You dove for the tissue box and scrunched it to your nose just as the bomb was going off. (+10 points)

Grabbing a tissue at the last second before sneezing is a beautiful moment. You just swooped in when time was counting down and saved the day doing what you do best.

So today we say thank you for dry shirt sleeves. Thank you for dry lips.

And thank you… most of all… for freedom.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

#317 When you can hear it snowing

Neil Pasricha 51 Comments

Just listen.

When the white sky splits and the big flakes fall there’s a certain peaceful calm that covers everything like a blanket. Floating flurries flutter and fly past dull yellow streetlamps before covering coats and cars in a thin layer of icing. Whistling winds fade to whispers and street beeps get muffled into the slowed-down scene in front of you.

Yes, when snowflakes blow those brake lights glow and everything slows into

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

#318 The perfect long distance shopping cart return

Neil Pasricha 49 Comments

Ready, aim, fire.

After dumping piles of frozen pizzas and melting ice cream into your trunk it’s time to turn around and fire the shopping cart into the big pile on the other side of the lot. Sure, sure, you could always walk over, but there’s something much more satisfying about sending it flying thirty feet and having it loudly crash straight into the other carts.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here