#999 That last, crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips

Kick-starting a bag of potato chips is pretty much standard — you open with the double-pincer, squeeze-and-pop technique, start fishing out the prime, full-bodied chips at the top of the heap, and then start working your way down to the half-broken chips in the middle of the bag. A few minutes in you’ve chomped your way down to the bottom and you might think you’re pretty much done. But wait, that’s just the beginning.

That’s when you get to the best part, that’s when you get to that last, crumby triangle of potato chips wedged right in the corner of the bag. You know what I’m talking about. Usually at this point your lips and face are covered in grease-crumbs and your fingers are neon orange, coated in a thin film of salty saliva.

That delicious patch of potato powder is all yours, but to get it you haMirrory Wellve to get a bit dirty:

  • First of all, you won’t be able to see your fingers down that crinkly, mirrory well so you have to tilt the bag sideways and size up that crumby triangle for what it’s worth. See what you’re dealing with here. Commit to a game plan.
  • Next, even though your fingers might already be wet at this point, it’s best to be safe with the ol’ Thumb & Index Finger Pre-Lick. Come on, slide them right in and out of your mouth, don’t be shy. Remember: the crumbs are in there deep, and your slightly sticky spit-glue will help mine the greasy plunder.
  • Next — attack! Wedge your wet thumb and forefinger in there hard, and squeeze until you feel like you’ve got most of it. Then pull out quick, and in one swift move sweep and drop that last, crumby triangle right onto your tongue, making sure to lick the stubborn remains off your fingers while saying Mmmm a lot.

And you’re done!

Exhibit A

Now, while the Thumb & Index Corner Pinch move is grittier and more explosive, there is a backup technique that will still get the job done if you don’t like to get your hands dirty. Those in the biz know what I’m talking about: The Dump-Truck Bag-Tilt Maneuver. This one requires two hands, a gaping mouth, and a forty-five degree angle to turn the trick. You can use it alone or in tandem.

But either way, almost entirely composed of salt and artificial flavor, that last crumby, triangle packs a full flavor finishing move, unlike the watered down sip at the end of a soft drink cup, the stump at the bottom of a muffin, or the toothbreaking kernals hiding in that last handful of popcorn.

AWESOME!

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149 thoughts on “#999 That last, crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips

  1. I think people are making a little bit too big a deal of the photo of the bag.
    I like this post…even though I don’t like potato chips very much. Prefer cookies.

  2. I am confused. The title of this article includes the phrase, “bag of potato chips.” The first image is that of a bag of Lay’s potato chips.

    Additionally, the entire article discusses potato chips.

    So where, exactly, is the confusion? Do you not read? Please help!!!

  3. Ummmm, I don’t know how it looks like a bag of blood…. I see a bag of KETCHUP chips. I think this website is awesome I don’t know why so many people are hating on this…

  4. MMMmmm, I literally JUST did that a second before reading this, crumbs on my shirt, stuck in my teeth, pricking at my elbows on leather couch cushions, but it was all worth it for that last blast of Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar, It’s like a bonus prize for all that troublesome crunching and chewing. mmMMMmm, truly Awesome…

  5. Has no one ever heard of Hot Lays before? Or Hot Cheetos? Or Hot Fries? No, the pictures are not bloody, they are simply priceless memories of finger-licking potato chips that a lot of people should try!

  6. LMFAO, i’m sorry, but as I’m reading through the steps it just sounds so wrong XD

    THIS.IS.AWESOME.

  7. Oh ya, that’s the “sum of one” my husband leaves usually saves me.yummy!

  8. I agree with you Michael, it’s just a bag of chips. With “potato powder”, as the author says, I might add….

  9. What “blood” are they talking about on the last few comments? I dont see anything. lol! Ive just found this blog now and so far 999 is awesome. :)

  10. Although I’ve never actually been to England, I imagined it as a British Lean Cuisine or Jenny Craig type microwave meal of Kidney Pie or Blood Stew. Oddly though, I began craving potato chips anyhow.

  11. My gosh, people, IT’S NOT FRIGGIN BLOOD! Would Neil do that to us? No, he wouldn’t.

  12. I just look at the second picture and all I see is an bag of chips. An empty bag of chips. What a depressing sight. Not awesome at all.

    I also approach a different technique to get at those last crumbs (yes, they’re delicious and must be eaten, but- they’re the LAST CRUMBS!!): I just tip the bag’s open end into my mouth and let ’em slide right in.

  13. At first I thought it was a bag of blood, but then I realized it was a bag of Lays ketchup chips.

  14. Very well writen article indeed, thank you so much for sharing such information with us.

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  15. the last crumy triangle is the worst part cause you know once you eat it its the last of the chip bag till you eat or buy another one…

  16. HAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THATS HILARIOUS

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