If you ever find yourself playing professional sports and someone from the stands yells out “Come on, Big Bopper!,” you’re probably a fat baseball player. Fat baseball player, thank you for giving us that simplest thing of all.
Hope.
See, because usually when we see those tricep flabs shaking in the wind and those bathroom scales exploding into a mess of springs going in all directions, we figure that our professional sports careers are pretty much over. Ain’t too much room on the hockey bench or the soccer pitch for us husky folks, and so, with our dreams sidelined, we sign up for night school VCR repair courses and start staining furniture in the garage, channeling our energies away from the games we love into our Plan Bs and Cs.
But that’s where you come in. To the Cecil Fielders, John Kruks, and C.C. Sabathias of the world: Thank you for keeping our dreams alive to one day be a platoon Designated Hitter. Thank you for being
AWESOME!
33 Comments
July 1, 2008 at 8:13 am
“Fat baseball player, thank you for giving us that simplest thing of all. Hope”
June 19, 2010 at 1:06 am
don’t forget Prince Fielder!
July 1, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Matt Stairs: forget the 6-pack, this guy’s built like a keg. Of Canadian beer, no less!
July 1, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Reminds me of the ol’ John Kruk line, in response to a woman questioning him about his weight: “I’m not an athlete, Ma’am. I’m a professional baseball player.”
Also, interesting reference to taking up VCR repair. Sort of like a certain Doctor Castle? http://www.thebigjewel.com/deardoctorcastle/
July 14, 2008 at 10:18 pm
And doesn’t a big belly give more power to their swing?
July 18, 2008 at 10:15 am
I can’t believe I just read a post about fat baseball players and didn’t get one mention of the greatest fatass of all time, George Herman Ruth. I don’t know whether to applaud the audacity or be offended…I’ll do both! *cheerglower*
August 2, 2010 at 4:22 pm
That was my thought! Come on now, we need to pay homage to the real men who made a name for themselves on hot dogs and beer.
July 18, 2008 at 11:05 am
Let’s not forget Steve Balboni. I once saw him bounce when he dove head first into 2nd. It was awesome.
July 18, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Heh heh, and Fat Cops. Can’t forget the fatties in blue.
August 4, 2008 at 10:43 am
O E O Antonio!!!!
August 17, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Being a bit overweight and of a certain height can give you subtle advantages in baseball, I believe.
September 30, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Anyone who is 50+ and from Michigan has to remember and admire the king of fat baseball players . . . Roly-poly Mickey Lolich. Not only was he the hero of the ’68 World Series for pitching three of the four winning games, but what does he do when he retires from baseball? He opens a donut shop!
October 31, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Big Mo’!!
December 31, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Don’t forget Kirby Puckett! He was built like a fire plug but had some power!!!
January 14, 2009 at 11:19 am
Kirby Puckett was also a very good fielder, and fast for his size. He and Kent Hrbek made a great one, two chubby combo for my hometown Twins for years!
February 16, 2009 at 5:47 pm
To me,a “big bopper” is a buxom babe whose boobs are
bopping about in her bra(36D-40D,girls!!!!)I’m 55,5’9”,214
lb.,sport a 48” Chest Normal,50” Chest Expanded,
42” Waist and 19” Biceps,so I’m a big boy,one who re-
members Mickey Lolich,Terry Forster,Lamarr Hoyt,
Lamar Johnson,Greg Luzinski,Joey Meyer and the Twins’
Round Mounds of Pounds,the late(Hall Of Famer)
Kirby Puckett and good ol’ boy Kent Hrbek.Of course,at a
listed 5’11”,270 lb-and,judging from some of the pictures
I’ve seen of him,probably closer to 5’9.5”,280-300 lb.-
Prince Fielder,the CHUNK off Cecil’s block(or sub-di-
vision)has all the lardy lads licked!!!!
February 16, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Oh,yes,”Bye Bye(hair and any food he saw)Balboni.
Can’t forget him.And I’m built like my fellow
Canadian lad,Matt Stairs!!!!
May 31, 2009 at 12:16 pm
It seems you can play the sport at any weight.
July 7, 2009 at 1:38 pm
There’s a fat guy playing third base for the team I root for,the Giants,Pablo Sandoval who has had a really great year and could be an All-Star via the fan vote.
November 12, 2009 at 11:53 pm
ummm what is baseball???
November 12, 2009 at 11:54 pm
that male is very level headed
November 12, 2009 at 11:57 pm
you shoosh girl. your more level headed than he is. your fat and ugly. go die.
>;D
November 17, 2009 at 12:03 pm
The best part of the Antonio Alfonseca picture? The tag line – “Let me tell you how many eggs I put in my omelette” combined with him having 6 fingers on both hands.
Awesome.
November 30, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Alfonseca! I remember him! Matt Stairs needs to be in here too.
January 21, 2010 at 12:04 pm
yioooooooyoyoyoyoyooyoooyoyooyoyyoohoyoyoyoy
January 21, 2010 at 12:05 pm
i am not fat
February 28, 2010 at 9:19 pm
anyone watching the olympic bobsleders? USA team always rocks but two of our guys were pretty chubby it made me smile :)
May 3, 2010 at 11:22 pm
C.C. Sabathia is the ultimate fat baseball player right now! Even though I hate the Yankees, his chubby middle makes me happy.
http://atssportsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/CC-Sabathia.jpg
Look at that gut!
June 1, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Don’t forget the bobsled teams – they give me hope, too!
August 3, 2010 at 7:49 am
awesome
August 9, 2010 at 12:51 am
As soon as i saw the pic i straight away thought that is funny and it made me feel good!
Thanx for sharing them.
August 22, 2010 at 8:15 pm
so happy this was the link for food ogling!
…..still laughing
August 23, 2010 at 4:42 am
hahahahahah it is nice.
Thx for sharing