No two nachos are created equally.
When somebody offers you a nacho from their appetizer plate at a restaurant or while on the couch at home in front of a movie, you need to move fast:
- First up, quickly scan their entire plate. What stage is this offer being made? Are you in the game when the plate is hot and full, or are we dealing with mostly crumbs and surplus jalapenos at this point? Size up the prize and give a quick yes or no.
- Now if you’re going in, don’t wait too long to make your move. If it’s obvious you’re putting too much thought into it, you’ll come across as selfish. Definitely don’t move any toppings around to build yourself a massive All-In Salad Nacho, but there’s no need to pull out that bland, naked chip at the bottom of the Jenga stack either. You weren’t offered crumbs and you don’t deserve crumbs. Remember that.
- Next up, locate your prey and dive in. Everyone has their personal preferences, though I’m a big fan of 90 – 100% melted cheese coverage and about 25-50% salsa coverage. Any less cheese coverage, and it’s just taco shell to me. Any more salsa coverage and I feel like I’m drinking the stuff. And hey, if I grab an olive, green onion, or jalapeno, that’s great too, but I don’t push my luck. Lastly, for my money, you can keep that shredded lettuce. That’s just grated water in my books.
Bottom line: know your tastes, size up the game, and dig in quickly. Mastering that perfect pick is a valuable life skill.
Now go grab life by the nachos.
AWESOME!






22 Comments
July 9, 2008 at 12:30 am
AWESOME :)
July 11, 2008 at 3:49 am
See, this is why I hate eating nachos around other people. I’m only going to eat things like soup around you greedy, thieving bastards.
July 18, 2008 at 7:29 pm
if the nachos stick together, does it count as one nacho or two?
August 9, 2008 at 9:38 am
[...] Picking the perfect nacho off someone else’s plate. I have been put in this situation a couple of times in the last year. His little guide, totally helped me out! [...]
October 10, 2008 at 10:39 pm
What are the rules when someone grabs a nacho and half the cheese from the plate sticks to that one nacho????
January 27, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Love the self-help blog satire. Spotting this is today’s most awesome thing.
March 24, 2009 at 1:56 am
[...] #987 Chiper le nacho le plus appétissant dans l’assiette de quelqu’un d’autre. [...]
March 29, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Nachos rock! Screw all other appetizers…nothing can compete with awesome nachos. Keep your fingers away from my plate. All perfect bites are mine. Muwahaha!!!
April 1, 2009 at 12:42 pm
A W E S O M E.
April 28, 2009 at 8:28 am
mmmmmmmmmmm Nachos
June 10, 2009 at 1:34 am
nachos deserve their own page
November 17, 2009 at 8:25 pm
sweeet life ;D
December 17, 2009 at 6:42 pm
My grandpa takes food off of my sisters plate all thje time. She’s like “unhh STOP!!”. I laugh every time he does that. Thanks for the info. I will try that sometime.
January 5, 2010 at 1:18 am
[...] #987 Picking the perfect nacho off someone else’s plate [...]
March 12, 2010 at 11:36 pm
“You weren’t offered crumbs and you don’t deserve crumbs. Remember that.”
New life’s motto.
Awesome.
April 21, 2010 at 6:42 pm
RIGHT?! That line is AWESOME! :)
May 6, 2010 at 1:40 pm
i seriously considered making that my facebook status…and now i’m going to. perfect.
March 14, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Aw now I want Nachos!
March 29, 2010 at 9:06 pm
[...] Picking the perfect nacho off someone else’s plate [...]
April 15, 2010 at 10:26 am
[...] Picking the perfect nacho off someone else’s plate [...]
April 24, 2010 at 10:24 am
Hey…I love eating nachos!! Can you publish a book…’Eating Nacho’s for Dummies.’ It would be very helpful in the future for many fellow nacho guzzlers!
May 13, 2010 at 1:43 pm
The perfect nacho has to have guacamole on it.