#961 Yellow teeth

Not pretty

Hey, since when are teeth supposed to be beaming white, shining like little flashlights whenever somebody laughs or smiles?

The way it’s been lately with the whitening strips, gels, gums, and toothpastes, the baking soda this, the dental bleaching that, well it almost seems like Having Bright White Teeth is becoming another mandatory personal hygiene norm, landing in the pile with a hollow clank alongside showering every day, wearing deodorant, and flushing the toilet when you only did Number One.

So to that I say: Wait! Let’s just settle down and calmly rethink this whole situation before it gets out of hand. We haven’t checked the box and stamped approved on the application just yet, so people, there’s still time. We can reject unnaturally white teeth and go back to the way things were.

Yes, I’m talking about the yellow teeth of your youth, the au natural teeth, the teeth you grew up with, the modest aw shucks pearly yellows of Joe Everyman and Jane Everylady. We can still embrace the teeth that get stained with coffee and smoke and spaghetti sauce and Indian food. The teeth that love us no matter who we are or what we eat.

If you aren’t yet picking up what I’m putting down, then I’ve got just one more reason to love yellow teeth again: cause white teeth hurt. I’m talking hot and cold sensitivity, weakened enamel, and receding gum lines. Girl, it ain’t pretty. Don’t get messed up and addicted to the whitening stuff. No, we like having you around. Nobody wants to find you sprawled face-down on a stained motel room carpet, little squeezed-out packs of Crest Whitestrips laying all over the floor.

So come with me, back to the world where teeth are yellow. The way they were meant to be. And hey, next time someone comes up to you, points you square in the mouth, and says “Buddy, your teeth are yellow!”, just smile, look them square in the eye, and say, “Why yes, yes they are. And you know what? I think that’s alllllllllright.”


Now that's what I'm talking about

Photos from: here and here


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81 responses to “#961 Yellow teeth

  1. As a man who has recently been receiving increasingly vicious and worrying letters from his dentist (“why you no come get-a your teeth clean?” He’s Italian), this post warms the heart. Honest, it does.

    I love this blog for making me feel better about myself.

    • Pesmi

      As a man who is Italian and have been reading your worryingly prejudicial comment (‘As a man who has been receiving…’ what are you?!), this post still warms my heart. But honestly you’re an arse.

      Fell better about yourself and leave the Italians alone.

    • Yourgross

      if you take care of your teeth properly you still shouldnt have yellow teeth…

      • slaaam

        teeth can be naturally yellow no matter how much you brush floss and mouth wash, on top of regular cleanings. No one is perfect…

        • pete

          My teeth are yellow from taking antibiotics when I was a child…I always felt bad about it since there is nothing I could do about it…now I have a secret alliance with anyone with tetracycline stained teeth…we’re all about the same age ~50 or so since doctors now know about the staining…so when you walk around and see someone with yellow, brown, or grey teeth around 50 – remember it might be something that they had no control of…and thinking they are gross is really not their problem but rather a problem with your own attitude.

          • Fudgio

            Tetracycline doesn’t cause the yellowing of the whole tooth, that’s probably your natural color…what it does cause is the greying where the tooth meets the gums

            • Zut

              Actually if taken during the childhood/teenage years tetracycline can cause a yellow/orange tint to the teeth and it is permanent.

      • TheLibraryGoddess

        Yellow teeth are a natural sign of aging, like laugh-lines, grey hairs, crowsfeet, wrinkly elbows, cellulite etc.

        Our over-marketed, consumer-driven, skinny model obsessive society needs to remember this and fight back against all the advertising trying to tell us otherwise!

        Thanks for reminding us that we are awesome even though (or maybe because) we are flawed!

  2. Awesome article! I totally agree with you! People shouldn’t be obsessed. I brush my teeth twice a day and do some Listerine along side that. I’ll never touch that teeth whitener crap. My teeth are already naturally sensitive. :/

  3. jdurley

    Do you know who has delightfully yellow teeth? Ron MacLean! I noticed while watching olympic coverage in HD. They’re not even straight, either!

  4. some dental hygienist

    Unperfect teeth add character :-)

    I much prefer natural color and alignment over perfectly-straightened-and-whitened teeth.

  5. eric girold

    My teeth suck. I suck my teeth because there may be some food left between them. There yellow cos I some shitty cigars. And I love it that way

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  7. liddle bum

    I have one tooth that sticks out of my mouth when I try to smile :(

  8. My teeth are fake and yellow. I got it worse than anyone ha.

  9. Chelsea

    I like people who leave their teeth the way they are naturally(except those who have to have dentures that’s not their choice) I don’t use bleaching crap and all that jazz. I brush my teeth daily. Granted they are not celebrity pearl white but I like them the way they are. And so does my dentist :)

  10. Kristoffer Avaldsnes Gilje

    Yuck, really yellowed teeth are nasty, but white teeth are even worse. Naturally yellowed teeth that aren’t shining white, yet they’re still not yellowed and disgusting, that’s nice. I mean AWESOME.

  11. Dee Haiche

    Hear… hear…
    Obviously for one’s state of mind or spirit, taking care and precautions to ensure the best version of you, but when authenticity is compromised, as with anything, it’s just an obvious outward sign of hyper insecurity.
    Like a huge zit caked with foundation I can not take my eyes off apair of fake boobs, or a pair of bright white perfectly shaped railings, (translation: teeth)

  12. haha, this is a funny take on teeth whitening. I, for one, am all for having white teeth, but only if you achieve this goal using natural methods. No dental bleaching for me!

  13. I also think that all these so called teeth whitening products ceratinly have side effects. so it is better to keep the teeth white using natural methods.

  14. Chippy

    I have a chip in one of my crooked, front teeth.

    sometimes, i think it’s pretty awesome.

    • jenny

      I have perfect teeth thanks to braces but my other front tooth is chipped too. It’s a bit shorter that the other one. I love it, I’d never get it fixed.

  15. ive been lookin for some good teeth whitening infomation thanks for pointing me in the right direction

  16. I HATE people with yellow teeth!! It grosses me out! EEEWE!! I wish I could have white teeth like the super stars!!!

  17. My teeth aren’t crooked, in fact they aren’t even that yellow. They’re not perfect but they have character. I really appreciate this post. :)

  18. Is there a certain Teeth whitening product that you could suggest that you suspect works great?

  19. Steve J

    white teeth, fake tans, plastic boobs, puffy lips from the doctor, = insecure people

  20. Jason

    I don’t understand the comparison between having shiny white teeth (even using whitening strips) and having a fake tan or fake breasts. I can’t stand the sight of yellow teeth, and I’m not a shallow person. It’s a matter of hygiene for me; if someone has off-white teeth, it’s kind of a big turn-off.

  21. Nice discussion and I appreciate your input. Quick question. We are getting ready to install wordpress ourselves. Can you share a good resource for templates and the best plug ins to make it easy for staff to update content in a nice user friendly way? Thx in advance.

  22. My family is having hard times keeping some teeth healthier. Any advice on home made teeth whitening !!!

    • Cassandra

      Healthy teeth aren’t necessarily white. As mentioned before, often the whitest of teeth are the most sensitive and weak.. therefore, not healthy at all. The awesomeness IS yellow teeth, not trying to get em white. I suppose you didn’t understand this post.

  23. Cathy

    Amen to this! A few of my friends have teeth that are almost blinding!

  24. I want to thank the blogger very much not only for this post but also for his all previous efforts. I’ve been looking on yahoo for Teeth Whitening and this blog was pretty informative. I`ll add this to my bookmarks. Hope this is ok to you admin…

  25. Katie

    I just have naturally yellow teeth, even if I brush my teeth everyday (I honestly can’t stand not brushing my teeth), floss, and use mouthwash. So I honestly don’t think it has anything to do with poor hygiene..

    • Ella

      Exactly, I also have naturally yellow teeth and brush, floss and use mouthwash everyday. I was reading on another website that in actuality, yellow teeth are stronger and healthier. If you whiten your teeth, it wears away the enamel. People who have naturally yellow teeth are also more resistant to cavities and dental problems. So it definitely has nothing to do with poor hygiene, in fact, people with natural yellow teeth are more likely to have better dental hygiene.

  26. Rianna

    Wow, after reading this post and the comments, I feel much better about the colour of my own teeth. They look really yellow to me in the mirror and it was the most freeing thing when I saw myself talking on a recording and in the daylight they look much better, but it used to really worry me.

    I do brush my teeth regularly but my teeth have always been yellow. It’s not great for my self-esteem but I try to ignore it.

    There is this one guy at my school who has really yellow teeth though. He’s a really awesome person though. It’s nice to be reminded that looks aren’t everything. :)

  27. *APPLAUSE*

    Today is the day I really try to stop feeling self-conscious about my yellow teeth.

    Thank You!

  28. Oemissions

    Do you have to eat white Wonder Bread to have white teeth?

  29. Nature has all we need

    My brother works in the service industry as a business class flight attendant; it’s difficult to get a promotion in this industry when you don’t have a nice white smile… but he found a natural way to achieve it some years ago and shared it with me.

    Tea tree oil is a natural and powerful stain remover. put 2 drops of 100% organic tea tree oil on your toothbrush and gently massage your soon to be naturally white perlies; wait about 30 seconds and rinse. Don’t swallow, it’s not that great ;)
    Between this natural whitener and my Sonic toothbrush, I have visited my Italian dentist, or his lovely hygienist in over 3 years…

  30. Nature has all we need

    Here’s another natural whitener that works (although a bit messier):

  31. Yellow teeth are associated with bad hygiene, and I can admit it feels like a turnoff. But the cleanest of teeth aren’t necessarily purely white. I brush my teeth everyday, and they’re still yellow. It’s hard for me not to look at yellow teeth and think they’re clean, but they are. And I don’t think I would’ve accepted that if it wasn’t for this post.

    I would have tried to buy whitening strips or something to whiten my teeth, but I don’t think I will. My teeth are good enough for me. :)

  32. me

    coffee and wine are two of the biggest culprits. you can clean your teeth twice a day, every day of your life but if you have five cups of coffee between brushings you’re still going to end up with yellow teeth. who wants to brush their teeth after every drink? seriously, people obsessed with white teeth need to judge the teeth on their cleanliness not their colour.

  33. Em

    My Chemistry teacher told me that the mineral which makes your teeth (naturally) yellow also makes them stronger. AWESOME!

  34. sarah

    as long as the teeth aren’t white from gel, or anything other than toothpaste and flossing xD

  35. L I S U

    yeah that is awesome. but at the same time i would like for people to not mistake the colour of my teeth for that of a stick of juicyfruit nawameen

  36. Ev

    Wow…this article really made me feel good about my yellowish teeth. Now, when I smile in the mirror, I will be proud to look at my glossy yellowish canines!

  37. Chelsea

    When I see someone with yellow teeth, I think of them as lazy – sorry that’s just me personally. But I automatically think they’re lazy because they clearly can’t be bothered to brush/floss/practice good dental health. I mean, I’m not saying they have to be pure white or anything, but when they’re similar in shade to the banana peel from the banana I ate earlier, it’s time to invest some time into your teeth. Teeth are probably the first thing I notice on a person, so… I don’t see why someone wouldn’t want perfect teeth.

  38. As long as you stay away coffee, tea, dark color foods and smoking and brush you teeth regularly, you should be able to maintain your teeth white and healthy!

  39. wendy

    Hail Neil…and the “au naturelle”.
    I’ve always felt this way… now more than ever, nearing half a century,which is remarkable in itself to be here to say and be:
    It’s what’s inside that counts!
    Every smile is beautiful when warm, kind, genuine essence is shining through!
    This is Awesome!

  40. Monique

    I need to hop on that teeth whitening grind, because my teeth are cream colored, not cool

  41. AwesomeLover

    Yay! Finally something other than those fake “dental whitening toothpaste or gel or strips or whatever-else-they-invented-now” for FREE! advertisements assumedly invented by some “ordinary *city name* mom.”
    I guess, though, since I’m still kinda young, my teeth aren’t that affected by smoke or coffee or wine yet. but italian food? YUM!! :)

  42. Thank you

    Its understandable people want white teeth, but the reality is its not natural to have baby white teeth. The drawback to whitening is the eroding of the enamel leading to cavities and potential nerve damage leading to root canals. Who wants to wear dentures prematurely thank you very much. Glow in the dark white teeth are not natural. Eat strawberries, they naturally whiten teeth, the acid removes stains. Thanks for the post, I think “character” is a good way to describe the natural shades of teeth and if “yellow” teeth last you a lifetime, thats what matters most.

  43. And about fluoride….it calcifies the pineal gland which secretes melatonin which we need to lower our cancer risk

  44. There are some interesting time limits in this article but I don?t know if I see all of them middle to heart. There’s some validity however I will take hold opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as nicely

  45. Real teeth are yellow! That’s all I’ve got to say.

  46. smiling proud today

    I had a chronic condition when I was a child that caused me to throw up a lot. Acid from vomit= yellow teeth. I’ve always been self-conscious about my teeth to the point where I didn’t even want to read this post…
    Thanks for making me feel better about my smile!

  47. Debbi Crosby

    Ladybug, if you really HATE people with yellow teeth….well having white teeth is the least of your problems.

  48. simon

    I think yellow teeth are not cool when smiling this produces a yelllow smile its ugly the best color for teeth is white every one should have white teeth visit the dentist if your teeth are yellow

  49. Pingback: 1000 Awesome Things – #1000 back to #951 | a ♥ of steel

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