Hey, since when are teeth supposed to be beaming white, shining like little flashlights whenever somebody laughs or smiles?
The way it’s been lately with the whitening strips, gels, gums, and toothpastes, the baking soda this, the dental bleaching that, well it almost seems like Having Bright White Teeth is becoming another mandatory personal hygiene norm, landing in the pile with a hollow clank alongside showering every day, wearing deodorant, and flushing the toilet when you only did Number One.
So to that I say: Wait! Let’s just settle down and calmly rethink this whole situation before it gets out of hand. We haven’t checked the box and stamped approved on the application just yet, so people, there’s still time. We can reject unnaturally white teeth and go back to the way things were.
Yes, I’m talking about the yellow teeth of your youth, the au natural teeth, the teeth you grew up with, the modest aw shucks pearly yellows of Joe Everyman and Jane Everylady. We can still embrace the teeth that get stained with coffee and smoke and spaghetti sauce and Indian food. The teeth that love us no matter who we are or what we eat.
If you aren’t yet picking up what I’m putting down, then I’ve got just one more reason to love yellow teeth again: cause white teeth hurt. I’m talking hot and cold sensitivity, weakened enamel, and receding gum lines. Girl, it ain’t pretty. Don’t get messed up and addicted to the whitening stuff. No, we like having you around. Nobody wants to find you sprawled face-down on a stained motel room carpet, little squeezed-out packs of Crest Whitestrips laying all over the floor.
So come with me, back to the world where teeth are yellow. The way they were meant to be. And hey, next time someone comes up to you, points you square in the mouth, and says “Buddy, your teeth are yellow!”, just smile, look them square in the eye, and say, “Why yes, yes they are. And you know what? I think that’s alllllllllright.”
AWESOME!
48 Comments
August 16, 2008 at 5:56 am
As a man who has recently been receiving increasingly vicious and worrying letters from his dentist (“why you no come get-a your teeth clean?” He’s Italian), this post warms the heart. Honest, it does.
I love this blog for making me feel better about myself.
September 28, 2009 at 8:24 am
As a man who is Italian and have been reading your worryingly prejudicial comment (‘As a man who has been receiving…’ what are you?!), this post still warms my heart. But honestly you’re an arse.
Fell better about yourself and leave the Italians alone.
November 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm
it wasnt prejudical at all, i think you’re slightly over-sensitive
December 21, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I’m Italian. It didn’t bother me. I thought it was funny.
November 18, 2009 at 9:08 pm
if you take care of your teeth properly you still shouldnt have yellow teeth…
March 19, 2010 at 9:36 pm
teeth can be naturally yellow no matter how much you brush floss and mouth wash, on top of regular cleanings. No one is perfect…
April 22, 2010 at 10:13 am
Yellow teeth are a natural sign of aging, like laugh-lines, grey hairs, crowsfeet, wrinkly elbows, cellulite etc.
Our over-marketed, consumer-driven, skinny model obsessive society needs to remember this and fight back against all the advertising trying to tell us otherwise!
Thanks for reminding us that we are awesome even though (or maybe because) we are flawed!
August 18, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Awesome article! I totally agree with you! People shouldn’t be obsessed. I brush my teeth twice a day and do some Listerine along side that. I’ll never touch that teeth whitener crap. My teeth are already naturally sensitive. :/
August 19, 2008 at 11:58 am
Do you know who has delightfully yellow teeth? Ron MacLean! I noticed while watching olympic coverage in HD. They’re not even straight, either!
October 27, 2008 at 1:20 am
Unperfect teeth add character :-)
I much prefer natural color and alignment over perfectly-straightened-and-whitened teeth.
October 31, 2008 at 7:56 pm
My teeth suck. I suck my teeth because there may be some food left between them. There yellow cos I some shitty cigars. And I love it that way
December 2, 2008 at 12:03 am
[...] you never got braces, then you look up to Laurence Fishburne. Because who says you have to have perfect teeth, [...]
December 16, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I have one tooth that sticks out of my mouth when I try to smile :(
February 2, 2009 at 3:02 am
My teeth are fake and yellow. I got it worse than anyone ha.
March 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I like people who leave their teeth the way they are naturally(except those who have to have dentures that’s not their choice) I don’t use bleaching crap and all that jazz. I brush my teeth daily. Granted they are not celebrity pearl white but I like them the way they are. And so does my dentist :)
May 3, 2009 at 7:54 am
Yuck, really yellowed teeth are nasty, but white teeth are even worse. Naturally yellowed teeth that aren’t shining white, yet they’re still not yellowed and disgusting, that’s nice. I mean AWESOME.
May 5, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Hear… hear…
Obviously for one’s state of mind or spirit, taking care and precautions to ensure the best version of you, but when authenticity is compromised, as with anything, it’s just an obvious outward sign of hyper insecurity.
Like a huge zit caked with foundation I can not take my eyes off apair of fake boobs, or a pair of bright white perfectly shaped railings, (translation: teeth)
August 11, 2009 at 1:59 am
haha, this is a funny take on teeth whitening. I, for one, am all for having white teeth, but only if you achieve this goal using natural methods. No dental bleaching for me!
August 25, 2009 at 12:21 am
I also think that all these so called teeth whitening products ceratinly have side effects. so it is better to keep the teeth white using natural methods.
November 19, 2009 at 4:45 am
I have a chip in one of my crooked, front teeth.
sometimes, i think it’s pretty awesome.
December 15, 2009 at 8:49 am
I have perfect teeth thanks to braces but my other front tooth is chipped too. It’s a bit shorter that the other one. I love it, I’d never get it fixed.
December 15, 2009 at 5:15 am
ive been lookin for some good teeth whitening infomation thanks for pointing me in the right direction
December 17, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I HATE people with yellow teeth!! It grosses me out! EEEWE!! I wish I could have white teeth like the super stars!!!
February 7, 2010 at 10:37 pm
You HATE people with yellow teeth? How superficial are you?
August 31, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I’m sorry, Ladybug, but that comment really offended me. If you hate people because of their appearance than you have some issues to work out.
December 23, 2009 at 1:53 pm
My teeth aren’t crooked, in fact they aren’t even that yellow. They’re not perfect but they have character. I really appreciate this post. :)
December 27, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Is there a certain Teeth whitening product that you could suggest that you suspect works great?
December 31, 2009 at 6:14 pm
white teeth, fake tans, plastic boobs, puffy lips from the doctor, = insecure people
February 7, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Agreed. Work with what you you have!
August 17, 2010 at 3:26 am
totally! contentment=confidence too right?
January 28, 2010 at 11:24 am
I don’t understand the comparison between having shiny white teeth (even using whitening strips) and having a fake tan or fake breasts. I can’t stand the sight of yellow teeth, and I’m not a shallow person. It’s a matter of hygiene for me; if someone has off-white teeth, it’s kind of a big turn-off.
January 30, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Nice discussion and I appreciate your input. Quick question. We are getting ready to install wordpress ourselves. Can you share a good resource for templates and the best plug ins to make it easy for staff to update content in a nice user friendly way? Thx in advance.
February 17, 2010 at 2:44 am
My family is having hard times keeping some teeth healthier. Any advice on home made teeth whitening !!!
March 30, 2010 at 9:39 am
Healthy teeth aren’t necessarily white. As mentioned before, often the whitest of teeth are the most sensitive and weak.. therefore, not healthy at all. The awesomeness IS yellow teeth, not trying to get em white. I suppose you didn’t understand this post.
March 22, 2010 at 1:05 am
Amen to this! A few of my friends have teeth that are almost blinding!
March 24, 2010 at 4:48 pm
I want to thank the blogger very much not only for this post but also for his all previous efforts. I’ve been looking on yahoo for Teeth Whitening and this blog was pretty informative. I`ll add this to my bookmarks. Hope this is ok to you admin…
April 18, 2010 at 3:27 pm
I just have naturally yellow teeth, even if I brush my teeth everyday (I honestly can’t stand not brushing my teeth), floss, and use mouthwash. So I honestly don’t think it has anything to do with poor hygiene..
April 19, 2010 at 2:23 am
Wow, after reading this post and the comments, I feel much better about the colour of my own teeth. They look really yellow to me in the mirror and it was the most freeing thing when I saw myself talking on a recording and in the daylight they look much better, but it used to really worry me.
I do brush my teeth regularly but my teeth have always been yellow. It’s not great for my self-esteem but I try to ignore it.
There is this one guy at my school who has really yellow teeth though. He’s a really awesome person though. It’s nice to be reminded that looks aren’t everything. :)
April 26, 2010 at 12:20 pm
*APPLAUSE*
Today is the day I really try to stop feeling self-conscious about my yellow teeth.
Thank You!
April 27, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Do you have to eat white Wonder Bread to have white teeth?
April 27, 2010 at 4:12 pm
My brother works in the service industry as a business class flight attendant; it’s difficult to get a promotion in this industry when you don’t have a nice white smile… but he found a natural way to achieve it some years ago and shared it with me.
Tea tree oil is a natural and powerful stain remover. put 2 drops of 100% organic tea tree oil on your toothbrush and gently massage your soon to be naturally white perlies; wait about 30 seconds and rinse. Don’t swallow, it’s not that great ;)
Between this natural whitener and my Sonic toothbrush, I have visited my Italian dentist, or his lovely hygienist in over 3 years…
April 27, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Here’s another natural whitener that works (although a bit messier):
http://www.dherbs.com/articles/carbon-activated-charcoal-177.html
May 28, 2010 at 10:53 pm
Yellow teeth are associated with bad hygiene, and I can admit it feels like a turnoff. But the cleanest of teeth aren’t necessarily purely white. I brush my teeth everyday, and they’re still yellow. It’s hard for me not to look at yellow teeth and think they’re clean, but they are. And I don’t think I would’ve accepted that if it wasn’t for this post.
I would have tried to buy whitening strips or something to whiten my teeth, but I don’t think I will. My teeth are good enough for me. :)
June 30, 2010 at 10:13 am
coffee and wine are two of the biggest culprits. you can clean your teeth twice a day, every day of your life but if you have five cups of coffee between brushings you’re still going to end up with yellow teeth. who wants to brush their teeth after every drink? seriously, people obsessed with white teeth need to judge the teeth on their cleanliness not their colour.
July 8, 2010 at 9:29 pm
My Chemistry teacher told me that the mineral which makes your teeth (naturally) yellow also makes them stronger. AWESOME!
July 20, 2010 at 1:41 am
as long as the teeth aren’t white from gel, or anything other than toothpaste and flossing xD
July 31, 2010 at 4:13 pm
yeah that is awesome. but at the same time i would like for people to not mistake the colour of my teeth for that of a stick of juicyfruit nawameen
August 2, 2010 at 11:18 am
Wow…this article really made me feel good about my yellowish teeth. Now, when I smile in the mirror, I will be proud to look at my glossy yellowish canines!