#959 Planning for snoozes

Hopefully you don't normally set the alarm for midnight

If you’re like me, then a war is waged every morning near your alarm clock. It is a neverending series of epic clashes between The Awake You and The Sleeping You, with each side sticking to its guns, fighting fiercely in the ultimate battle for the first half hour of your day.

Sometimes it seems like if it were up to our subconscious selves, a lot of us would be lazing around in a world of rumpled sheets and dreams all day. You know how it is — maybe at night you’re a level-headed gal with a level-headed plan. “I’ll go for a quick jog tomorrow before work,” you say to yourself. “Maybe whip up some oatmeal afterwards.” But your groggy, bedheaded self just ruins everything the next day. “Let’s keep sleeping,” she convincingly suggests when the alarm goes off, hitting the snooze button on your behalf. “See you in nine!”

I don’t know about you, but for me until recently I’ve been trying to deceive the sleeping me with the only two weapons I’ve got: 1) moving the alarm clock to other side of the room in order to give my waking self time to figure out what’s happening, and 2) setting the time further and further ahead to try and trick my heavy-eyelided other half into believing they’re gonna make me really late.

But after years of playing the same game, it eventually happened. I hit a breaking point. I just couldn’t do it anymore. So now my new gig is trying to keep everybody happy. That’s right, keep snoozing in the picture and hold down a job at the same time. Folks, I’m talking about planning for snoozes. Adding them to the list. Budgeting them right in there. Finally giving them the credibility they’ve so long aspired to and letting them become an official Part Of The Day.

So now I say hey, if you absolutely must get out of bed by 8am, that’s fine. Just set the alarm clock for 7:30 first. Throw your sleeping self a bone and hook them up with three solid snoozes. And you know what, you win too! Those nine extra minutes sometimes feel like an hour, complete with vivid dreams and fresh drool on the pillow to show for it. You wake up refreshed, happy, and smiling. And the best part comes later in the day, whenever somebody asks how you slept — because you know what to tell them:


Instant heaven

Photos from: here and here

57 thoughts on “#959 Planning for snoozes

  1. You are so right with every AWESOME! I love this site more and more =D

    *sets alarm clock a little earlier for tomorrow because usually fights only one or two snoozes*

    1. I used those exact times for my planned snoozes. I had to stop though as I would continue for one more costly snooze that I just couldn’t afford. Once a serious snooze abuser, I stand up immediately once the alarm wakes ups (or just remain standing since the clock is on the side of the room).

  2. I totally plan for snoozes! I even close my eyes when I set my alarm ahead so I don’t know how far ahead it’s set. Somehow, I’ve always been really good at that early AM alarm clock math :)

  3. This is so true..
    I love that feeling of falling back asleep after hitting that snooze button..
    The guy who invented that is so..

  4. I too plan for snoozes. Anything to make it easier to get up. It is surprisingly easy to trick yourself into thinking you are getting more sleep than you always have.

  5. Yeah, right… I hit snooze like 5 times, every 5 mins, because that’s how much it can handle. Then I set the clock again for half an hour later. And then I start hitting snooze again. And the whole shabang becomes a snoozaroo which lasts until I don’t even bother setting the clock again… What’s the use anyway? :P

  6. I have to plan for snoozes. I just can’t wake up half the time if I’m forced to get up before my mind is good and ready to let go of those zs. So I usually set two alarms–I can snooze the first until the second goes off (anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour later) and I can snooze the second until about a half hour before I HAVE to get up. The second alarm is to sort of warn myself that my time is getting shorter and I need to start paying attention to the clock.

  7. I use my iPhone and set about 4 alarms and put the phone on the other side of the room. I can’t trust a snooze because sometimes I want an extra 15 minutes. Plus the scary all hands on deck def com 5 “Alarm” setting will get you up.

  8. “1) moving the alarm clock to other side of the room in order to give my waking self time to figure out what’s happening”

    I have to do that because my groggy bed-headed self decided that hitting the snooze button wasn’t good enough, and actually would turn the alarm off completely.

  9. I’ve ruined myself and now have to set myself 2 hours of snooze time AND I have set the clock itself forward 15 minutes. Luckily my sleepy self does have to undergo the torture of performing mathematical functions to gain those 2 hours of snooze time.

    Bonus is that is pisses off my Husband every single day.

  10. this is soo true. waking up is a battle for most people i think. your blog is really amazing, entertaining and very real. i have been reading each post, and they are just hilarious, and true. its amazing that we can find joy in the little everyday things. this is one of the most amazing blogs i have read. if this blog were a book, it would be an international best-seller. these are just small everyday things that we so take for granted. in a cynical, crazy world, all these little things you have written about keep us human. keep it going!

  11. Oh man. I’m not a morning person at all.

    I switch the time on my clock ahead all the time. Sometimes I’ll set it normal for awhile, and then on a day I know I won’t want to wake up the next morning, I set it ahead to trick myself to think I’m going to be late. It works as long as you don’t do it all the time.

    By the way, this blog is great

  12. I used to set my clock 11 minutes fast to trick myself into thinking I’d be late, but then I got used to it, so that didn’t really work. Now I build in two 7-minute snoozes into my wake-up time, and that works pretty well. Any earlier, and I’d just be mad that I had to be awake so early even though I’m in bed.

  13. Wow! I’ve been doing this ever since I started using an alarm clock in the third grade! I set the actual time on the clock way ahead and so I can hit the snooze extra! It’s amazing.

  14. I learned a few years ago that this battle can only be won one way – get enough sleep. Based on how much I get on a day off, I go to bed in time to get what I need – around 8 hours. Yes, I lose some night time, but I wake up easily, sometimes a minute or two before the alarm. I rarely snooze it (7 mins). Sometimes, I supplement with an illegal nap (you know those times you wake up at the PC with 2000 a’s typed on the screen?)

  15. Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a great article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done.

  16. I tossed the alarm clock and got myself a puppy. He is very reliable waking me up as soon as it is light. The only problem occurs when we go onto daylight savings time or when we have a really dark rainy morning. But, I think my boss uses the same technique because when I’m walking in late, so is he. Awesome.

  17. It is pretty awesome hitting that snooze button, especially the first time in the sequence, because you get to tell yourself “Everything’s allright, this is just the first snooze, relax and just let it all go.” I have to be at work by 8, and its about a 15 min. drive. So I’ll set my alarm at 6:30. The fear and paranoia don’t start setting in until about 7:10, and I’m still hitting snooze. By the time its 7:21 and I look over and go for the snooze bar one more time, its much too late, and i have to leap out of bed and RUN to the shower with my eyes still 100% closed.

  18. I’ve been planning for snoozes for about 4 years now and I love it! It makes me feel so happy, just pressing the snooze bar and sleeping. Planning for snoozes has made my life way easier! I set my alarm for 7 and I’m up at 7:30 so I’m not even late anymore!

  19. Indeed “Book of Awesome” is packed with awe and touch of subtle fineries, so very close to our daily chores of life….awesomemost…indeed superlative stuff to read both as a leisure-time filler as well as travel-companion…unless you plan to snooze a bit more on your flight !!!!!

  20. Isn’t it funny how we suddenly become really great mathematicians in the morning.. Right in the middle of the raging battle between sleep and being awake we start to calculate every part of our morning ritual to the closest second, just for 3 more minutes in bed..

  21. I have a secret envy for those who can snooze and sleep in…something I’ve actually NEVER done!

  22. Ah, the old, ‘setting the clock ahead so I think I am late’ trick. I thought I was so stealth when I came up with that idea, but I apparently can not be deceived that easily and end up sleeping in anyway. I do enjoy setting the alarm for earlier than I actually have to wake up, so when it goes off I can treat myself to half an hour more of sleep.

  23. I never hit snooze because I am a heavy sleeper and I am sacred I would not wake up again even though I use two alarms. I just lay in bed until I cannot stand my alarm anymore. I cannot be late to work since I am the only one who can do my job.

  24. I can’t plan for snoozes. If I don’t get out of bed immediately when my alarm goes off and STAY out of bed, I don’t get up… Which was fine during college, when nobody really cared and it was my own problem if I missed class. But now that I work, it’s kind of important to wake up on time.

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