Sometimes sneezes hit you and hit you hard.
Unless you’re rolling around in a pile of ragweed or sleeping on a pillow filled with pepper and cat hair, it usually starts completely out of nowhere. You feel that tickle deep up your nose. Just a tiny little quiver way, way up there, near where you eyeball connects to your brain. You squint a bit, pull your hand up to your mouth, and then BOOM! Your eyes squeeze tightly, your face contorts and crunches together, and it screams down your face at the speed of sneeze, exploding out of your mouth in a wet and ugly climax of snot droplets and head goo flying in all directions.
Despite the look of it, sneezing can feel pretty great. Not only does repeated sneezing give you a weird, spacey head rush, but it can also be quite refreshing. Those sinuses get cleaned out a bit. The nose hairs get a brief, windy blow down. Plus, you fire whatever might be irritating your nasal cavity out of your nose like a cannon, sending it flying across the room in a spastic I Must Get This Out Of Me overreaction.
Now, although sneezes are usually a surprise, there are times when you know they’re in there and you just want them to leave. What’s worse than that frustratingly stubborn sneeze? I’m talking about the kind that pauses all conversation, leaving your friends stuck grimacing and watching you writhe in an agitated Potentially Sneezing Soon state, trying to force the sneeze locked in your nose in or out.
It’s just awkward.
But that’s why it feels great to let that booming sneeze out, preferably in a punctuated rat-a-tat-tat sequence of three or more sneezes for the full effect. Tiny mousesqueak sneezes or booming dogbark sneezes welcome, because whatever your style man, that’s cool. It’s all good.
And hey, you know what’s the best part? Free blessing! Yes, everyone around you chimes in just when your body is buzzing, your sinuses are sparkling, and your head pipes are all vacuumed clean.
AWESOME!
23 Comments
August 22, 2008 at 12:16 am
I guess it’s relevant that I have a cold. It makes reading this so much more enjoyable. Especially that spacey head rush.
August 23, 2008 at 2:18 am
i get a lucky break, since im really photosensitive in the sneezing regard. i sneeze more or less every morning when i walk outside
often more than once
August 25, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I see the “digg” button, but not the “hey Chester, enough entries about your nasal passages already” button.
Three so far, by my count.
August 26, 2008 at 10:44 am
I always sneeze at least 3 times. Every single time I sneeze it’s 3 times. What’s that about?
September 16, 2008 at 12:47 am
This one is interesting. Definitely one of the more annoying to witness, but you’re right. If I’m the one sneezing repeatedly it feels
AWESOME!
Especially if the roof of my mouth has that itch that sometimes comes with the sneeze, and the air force tickles it just right. Mmmmm.
November 13, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Free blessings are the best. I hate the ones that cost money; so annoying.
December 6, 2008 at 3:11 am
sneezing 3 or more times in a row is truly awesome. blessings are awesome also but if someone decides to “bless” me during the ugly face phase my buddy will stop and i won’t sneeze at all.
that pisses me off.
February 1, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I once sneezed 7 times in a row, no kidding. It was truly
AWESOME!
February 1, 2009 at 9:06 pm
It is so annoying when people sneeze three times. I sneeze twice at most all the time.
February 8, 2009 at 12:02 am
I agree… sneezing is great… and from what I’ve heard over the years, like 3% orgasm… double awesome!
February 9, 2009 at 2:18 pm
If I don’t pinch my nose, I hear a throttle sound (I don’t know if that’s actually a sound, but the onomatopoeia sounds right). It’s like a machine gun and it’s really painful. If I do pinch my nose, the mucus goes to my throat and I basically spend the rest of the day hacking up phlegm (which can be quite awesome, tbh – I treat myself if I see blood).
February 19, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I’m just like you Katie. Most times I sneeze 3 times in a row. I came here to see why. I thought that I may be a warrior from a long lost tribe that has special strengths and senses. I guess not. ; )
May 18, 2009 at 11:57 am
I have sevre allergies. While it’s quite hilarious sneezing nine times, it also pops blood vessels. =/
May 23, 2009 at 12:48 am
The triple-fire sneeze, always feels great!! My wife always laughs at me for always sneezing three times in a row. Maybe she’s just jealous that she can’t pull it off.
August 25, 2009 at 1:37 pm
My husbands sneezes always comes in pairs. I always know to wait until second one to say, “Bless you.”
September 28, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I usually sneeze 2 times in a row. Maybe 3 if I’m lucky.
My highest is 6 in a row. :)
November 16, 2009 at 2:34 am
I sneeze 5 times in a row each time I sneeze. I have had three sneezing fits in the span of five minutes where I sneeze 6 times per each fit.
The most I’ve ever gotten in a row is 8 or 9.
I hold my nose whenever I’m in school and I sneeze or else the entire class, including the teacher, looks at me and asks me if I’m done.
Sneezing five times in a row is not fun to me because everyone just stares and stops whatever they’re doing to ask me if I’m done.
November 29, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I sneeze like 2 and a half times a lot. That last weird half sneeze is funky.
December 2, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I read somewhere that sneezing is 1/8th of an orgasm so that’ probably why it’s so nice to sneeze.
December 7, 2009 at 9:18 am
The maximum number of times i’ve sneezed was today..i went outside and it was snowing..when i was back home..i ain’t joking but i sneezed 10-12 times in a row….sheesh! I was just waiting for it to stop..my nose gets all red due to the repeated sneezes…lol my friends call me rudolph.. =) XOX
December 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Normally I only sneeze once, sometimes twice. But during allergy season, I commonly sneeze a dozen times or more in a row while I’m in the shower first thing in the morning. By the time they’re done I’m lightheaded and exhausted and my stomach hurts. It’s not awesome at all. :(
January 16, 2010 at 6:07 am
I just caught a cold and its making me sneeze about 4 times in a row, about 5 times a day, leaving me with a terrible sore throat. The sneeze clears out my lungs and sinus, but the throat takes a beating.
February 8, 2010 at 11:22 am
I was once eating a muffin on an excessively packed train in mid-summer when my hay-fever kicked in. When I sneeze, it’s like a rapid fire cannon type explosion of like 5 in a row, which I almost never see/feel coming. I managed to jam my hand to my face after the first one, but it was too late and I had already sneezed muffin all over the guy in front of me’s excessively quaffed hair. We were jammed in pretty tight, he had his headphones on and wasn’t facing me, so there were no immediate repercussions. I’m not even sure he noticed, but I’m sure everyone else around us did. I couldn’t even tell him he had bits of my muffin stuck in his hair, as I was choking on the remaining sneeze muffin left in my mouth and didn’t want to cough more in his face when I attempted an apology. Not awesome at all.