Though I hate to admit it, I am a slow, indecisive mess in the grocery store checkout lane.
Since I am an extremely cheap person, I watch the prices scroll up on screen like a hawk, often saying things like “Oh, I thought that was on sale,” or, “Actually, I don’t really want that anymore,” forcing the cashier to call in price-checks to the unresponsive produce department or find a temporary home for the pack of melting Fudgsicles I’ve decided to leave off my list last minute.
And because I’m watching the screen so closely, I start late and take forever to bag my groceries and pay, awkwardly leaving my shopping cart blocking the lane for the next customer, a metal criss-crossed castle knight enforcing a firm “Thou shall not pass” law in its trademark silence.
Yes, I clog up the line and annoy everybody behind me. I’m one of four People You Don’t Want To Stand Behind in the grocery line, together with:
- Fidgety Grandma, who on cue dumps a pile of warm nickels on the counter to pay and then slowly counts them out by sliding them across the counter with her index finger
- Flyer Guy, who hands the cashier a dog-eared flyer from home, forcing him or her to manually tear out all the coupons while everybody waits
- No-Math Jack, who sneaks in piles of extra items onto the Express Lane and acts like it’s no big deal
Yes, those tense, winding checkout lanes can be a pretty rough go sometimes. It’s not easy out there. You have to watch the anxiety levels, keep that blood pressure in check.
That’s why there are few things better than a spritely new cashier hopping onto the scene, grabbing the ‘next lane please’ sign from the end of the belt, flicking on the lightbulb above their station, and offering a loud, beaming “Next customer, please!,” to the scowling, stressed-out masses.
When that cashier lightbulb goes on, a bright warm glow showers down upon everybody waiting. People like me feel less guilty about holding up the line and folks at the end win the big front-of-the-line jackpot. Yes, it’s one, giant mood swing, one massive swelling of goodwill, complete with buzzing chatter, a few laughs, and even the occasional crinkly plastic sound of a tightly wound frowning turning upside down.
And sure, there’s a bit of line etiquette to sort out. Who gets first dibs on this new empty lane, after all? But it’s almost always better for everybody, regardless of what happens. So most of us, we just smile and enjoy the ride.
AWESOME!
18 Comments
August 26, 2008 at 11:34 am
And this happens the most at Targets, and we do know that white people love Target. The Guest Service Team Lead or Lead Cashier will call to the sales floor for all kinds of fresh team members to reduce backups to the typical 1 being checked out and one in line ratio.
August 26, 2008 at 12:47 pm
It is a little bit like being the first table called to the buffet. When the new cashier points to you and says “I can help you over here” You walk over, beaming proud at being chosen first. A glow on your face as you leave the store, watching the masses still left behind grumbling.
September 2, 2008 at 4:56 am
Some people just don’t understand the meaning of Express Lane so there is a sign board that explains no more than 10 items at the Express Lane but apparently there are people who simply think that they are the King and Queen so without shame, they proudly push their full trolleys up the Express Lane. There are at least 100 items in those trolleys.
September 10, 2008 at 12:49 am
I used to work at a grocery store and I think it would be wonderful if the express lanes locked at a certain number of items. Say express it 12, lock at 17. Because 1 or 2 items over isn’t that big of a deal but after a while it gets insane. I’ve actually had people say to me “Oh, I think you can manage” when I had a line around the corner and they had a full cart! It can get to be annoying.
November 13, 2008 at 7:34 pm
When I’m at a grocery store, it always angers me that I’ve been in line for many minutes and am still two or three away from the finish line. Then, a cashier opens a new line, and Mr. Johnny-Come-Lately at the end of the line decides to take it. Whatever happened to decency and etiquette? America, what have you become!?
December 10, 2009 at 11:48 pm
I read a comic that was like that.
November 28, 2008 at 2:24 am
As a cashier, I believe it goes both ways—there is a lot of satisfaction in knowing that you’ve made someone’s day that much easier and less tedious. I feel like a superhero that comes in and saves the day when I flip on my light and with a strong, loud enough to be heard over the hustle and bustle, voice say, “I can take the next customer on register two!”
February 1, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Sometimes it is bad for the cashier as everyone rushes over all at once from the other lanes.
February 9, 2009 at 2:43 pm
In England, we only pretend to enjoy this because it seems like the reasonable thing to do. In reality, we love cuing. There’s a bit of a common sense/masochism catch-22 there.
April 1, 2009 at 12:35 pm
This might just be in my area, but it seems like the days of last-in-liners jumping to the head of the new line are coming to a close. It used to happen all of the time, but now it seems conventional to let the second and third people move over before the free-for-all commences. Anyone else notice this?
April 29, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Well Isnt it nice to feel appreciated. Most people just say its about bloody time and procede to change there mind question 2 for 1s and pay in small change. At least some appreciate it.
May 18, 2009 at 9:12 pm
[...] time left, Finding money you didn’t even know you lost, Wearing underwear just out of the dryer, When cashiers open up new check-out lanes at the grocery store and Neighbors with pools. Isn’t it awesome? Tags: weekly [...]
May 27, 2009 at 6:52 am
This happened to me the other day, another guy and I both saw it opening and rushed to get there first but both packed up laughing when we realised that we had both been thinking exactly the same thing and couldn’t decide who actually got there first:)
September 1, 2009 at 3:57 am
Not only at grocery stores, but KFCs and McDonald’s too… ;)
October 17, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I like doing that if it is a cashier that I know….and no one else goes rushing to the line. This way, I can pull out my wad of coupons and not have anyone glaring at me while I chop at least $5 off my order…
November 22, 2009 at 12:50 am
I’ve worked at a grocery store for the past 7 years and am now a manager. It makes us happy that you are happy because we do this.
January 6, 2010 at 1:16 pm
[...] #953 When cashiers open up new check-out lanes at the grocery store [...]
January 7, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I’ve actually heard a lot of places asking for the “next customer in line” to come over – insinuating they actually care who comes over – but in reality with tight lanes at the grocery store rarely can the next customer or even the one after that actually make it over without causing a huge scene or rearrangement of people.
Now personally – if I see a fresh cashier coming into the fray and I’m not right at the front, I’ll gamble and pull myself out of line ready to jump on their cash. No guilt then… it was my gamble!