#935 Eating cookies like Cookie Monster

It sure is a sign of gluttonous satisfaction when you find yourself home alone, slouching on the couch in front of the TV with your eyes half open, a steady trail of cookie crumbs dripping from your mouth onto your shirt and pants, chocolate smears on your lips and fingers, and the telltale cookie package laying beside you, the plastic tray peeled all the way out of the bag, entire rows laying vacant except for a bit of brown dust and maybe a rogue chocolate chip or two.

Yes, it’s satisfying all right, because many delicious cookies were eaten, without witnesses, in a very quick and steady stream, by shoving them into your mouth, chewing a few times, and then swallowing quickly to make room for the next one. You’re a cookie monster and you love it.

Eating cookies like Cookie Monster is great because, more than anything, it represents freedom. Yes, free thought takes you to the pantry, free will makes you grab that cookie package and sit down on the couch, and free Wonder Years reruns keep you company while you sit down and enjoy. You’re the Executive Chef in your personal Dessert Kitchen here. Just tell me that’s not liberating.

I mean, sure, we all know it’s not the greatest idea to eat a pile of cookies just before bed, but that’s not the point. The point is: you can do it. Yes, you’ve come a long way from the portion-controlled cookie snacks you got when you were a kid, that maybe two or three cookies in a small plate with a tall glass of milk that just whet your appetite for more. Now it’s all you all the time, baby. Nobody is going to stop you except you. You can eat a whole row. You can eat two whole rows. You can plough them in there. You can savor them slowly. The point is, it’s such a great feeling to scarf cookies without abandon like Cookie Monster.

Truly, he was the role model for us all.


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47 thoughts on “#935 Eating cookies like Cookie Monster

  1. I think that this is a great idea if you’re Bill Gates… or that telecom guy from Mexico.

    As gas prices continue to rise, so will the price of cookies. Don’t waste the crumbs of cookies. Although it’s enjoyable, you should certainly be sure to not waste any of the tasty cookie–for some day they might be too expensive to consume. Be sure to eat diligently to make sure you’re dropping as few crumbs as possible. This way, when cookies are more expensive, you’ll have more money to buy them–since you didn’t have to waste money on buying more cookies to make up for the crumbs you lost.

    Be warned, you heard it here first.

    p.s. Buy cookie futures. Gold mine.


  2. Yes to cookies, but even better, Yes to cookies that you bake yourself! There are any number of excellent recipes but the one that has brought the biggest smiles in recent years is the recipe on the back of the Ghirardelli bags of chocolate baking chips. (Here is the one from their web site: http://www.ghirardelli.com/bake/recipe.aspx?id=1017)

    And by the way, I am thoroughly enjoying reading your blog, packed with witty observation and reflection. In fact, your posts are like a bag of delicious cookies ;-)

    Cheers, Laurie

  3. You’re supposed to eat the cookies (all of them in one go) then pour the crumbly remains of the formerly consumed from the now spent holding tray into the milk you’ve been consuming with said cookies. Swish it about and drink for an extra special ending to what was a cookie massacre of epic proportions.

    My nickname from years ago was “Cookie” because of such a thing as this.

    “Sometimes food” my ass! Its either more cookies or more prozac. Cookies are cheaper and taste better! :)

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    1. A few years ago my new cheap replica watch stopped at 9:42. From that day forward, 9:42 was dubbed cookie time–
      oop, g2g, cookie time.

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  7. Did you ever notice the most tragic thing about the cookie monster? He has no throat! So he can chew the cookies, but he can never swallow them. The crumbs just spray everywhere except for in his stomach. It always makes me sad…

  8. uhh, when i was 5 i told my mom ‘mom, guess what! i have a super secret that nobody could know, and the government must be in on it! cookie monster dsnt actually eat the cookie! he just pretends to, but it all goes on the floor!’ :O dont u miss sesame street?

  9. OMg!! After reading this,i just got up nd bought a box of cookies nd some milk so i can go crazy like cookie monster!!!! :D

  10. After this text I reading, I just take a box of cookies and some chocolate milk so I can going crazy like cookie monster.
    When I was 10 I love those cookies, guess what? Also my parents eats that cookies and also chocolate. I love chocolate too. Cookie monster doesn’t actually eat a cookie! He just feast the cookies. I eat also cookies fresh out of the oven that’s very hot. I will missing sesame street without cookie monster.
    My name on the volleyball was Mister cookie because on volleyball camp, I always take cookies before I play a match or before I training.

    1. I love eating cookies, if i just see cookies i can’t resist to eat them.
      At school my classmates call me the cookie monster because every pauze between lessons i eat a cookie.
      I rather eat cookies in stead of candy because some candy sticks to my tooth.
      The cookie closet at home is always so fast empty that my mother sometimes hide the cookies when she bought some.

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  12. There are too many yummy chocolate biscuits on the shelf these days! Makes it impossible to eat just one – but must admit – haven’t tried eating them cookie monster style! Will have to put on the list.

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  14. Ever done like George Carlin once said and just scarf them down soon as you get home from buying them? And not like you take them to your room or anything. I mean, staring at the friggin’ toaster as you down an entire box of cookies.

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