Things could go a few different ways near the bottom of that cereal bowl:
1. Drowning in white. You poured 2 fast and 2 furious and overfilled the bowl. Now after you spoon up those last few soggy Honey Nut Cheerios you’re left with a good inch of sloshy, super-saturated, sandy-colored syrup at the bottom. Well, the damage is done, so I say bottoms up to that. Just tilt your head, tilt your bowl, and say hello to a peppy morning full of jitters and fast-talking.
2. Corn Flake beach. Here’s where you end up with too much cereal and not enough milk. You first notice it when you’re halfway through your bowl and those Corn Flakes seem a bit too crunchy for their own good. So you look down and notice you’re swimming in the wading pool, my friend. Assuming you’re out of milk or are very lazy you have to frantically start rationing, aiming for just enough milk on each spoonful to get by. Let’s hope you make it and don’t end up with a fat lump of slightly damp Corn Flakes sitting pathetically in the corner of your bowl.
3. Cereal Bowl Bliss. Oh mama, this here’s the perfect milk to cereal jackpot. Maybe you’re like my friend Mu, who has lifted the art of obtaining Cereal Bowl Bliss into a noble, decades-long search for perfection. Yes, he has studied milk absorption for years, and knows that a bowl of Froot Loops and a bowl of Frosted Flakes have nothing in common other than a mascot who lives in the jungle. See, Mu points out those Froot Loops float high and dry while the Frosted Flakes are like crispy sponges that require a lot more milk to make it through. And then there’s the bowl itself. Sure, a big, deep bowl may look great when you pull it out of the cupboard, but watch out for the illusion of size. You may end up drowning in white if you’re not careful. Lastly, if you’re ready for Advanced Milking, you may be interested in the patient art of The Sit, which involves letting your beautiful bowl of cereal just lay on the counter for a good minute or two before eating. This will allow your cereal to soak up a consistent amount of milk, and prevents those dreaded bone dry first bites of crunchiness which offset your whole ratio. Remember: this is Advanced Milking, folks. Not for the faint of heart or extremely hungry.
Anyway, when you get the milk and cereal ratio just right at breakfast, you’re all aces, my friend. And when you hit it, you hit it, and you know you hit it, because that last spoonful goes down smooth and sweet without a hint of drowning in white or surfing up onto Corn Flake Beach. So nailing the perfect amount of milk in that big breakfast bowl of cereal?
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mmmm.
AWESOME!
26 Comments
December 19, 2008 at 1:39 am
My favorite thing about cereal shenanigans is when you eat a big-ass bowl of Lucky Charms, and be very VERY careful not to eat any marshmallows until you’ve eaten all the non-sugary bits. Then you just get a mouthful of ‘mallows! That, my friend, is AWESOME!
December 19, 2008 at 2:10 am
Totally awesome! I deal with the milk:cereal ratio on a regular basis! It is THE BEST when you get it right! Think this is my favourite Awesome post in a long time!
December 19, 2008 at 4:18 am
You’re on a roll man!
December 19, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Sometimes a lot more milk than cereal is a good thing. Especially when the cereal has a little extra something like honey (Honeycombs) or maple (Oatmeal Crisp Maple Nut), the milk at the end taste even more awesome than the cereal itself.
December 19, 2008 at 12:47 pm
When I’ve eaten all cereals I always add a handful on new ones until I’ve eat all the milk, too. That’s why I don’t have this problem whit getting the ratio right.
December 19, 2008 at 12:48 pm
+1 to The RFK as Dave – I’m all about the all marshmallow spoonful with Lucky Charms
Neil – One question: At the end of the Cornflake Beach you have cornflakes sitting in “the corner of your bowl”? Please describe the typical geometry of the bowls you eat out of. I’m pretty sure I’ve never eaten out of a bowl that had corners. Good try my friend.
I tend to intentionally go for a bit of “Drowning in White” personally, because I like that gulp of syrupy milk at the end of the bowl. It depends on the cereal though – Choco-Krispies are great – you get homemade chocolate milk. Cinnamon Toast Crunch seems like it would be great (and is for the first 3/4 of the gulp), but then you get an actual thick pasty syrup at the end, which is even a bit too much for a sugar freak like myself.
December 19, 2008 at 12:56 pm
@ The Ranter Formerly Known as Dave
Completly agreed.
December 19, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Oh yes, I do love a perfect ratio there. Although for me, my idea of perfection is a small amount of milk. I LOVE crunchy cereal, so I keep just a small pool of it at the bottom to drown a bites worth of cereal before I scoop it out and enjoy.
December 19, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Neil… You make my world better. Thank you!
December 19, 2008 at 2:19 pm
If you’re going to go wrong one way or the other, it’s better to err on the side of too much milk.
I know. I can be pretty controversial sometimes.
December 19, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I think the most challenging cereal to eat just right is Shreddies. First of all, it’s a major milk-gobbler, so getting the ratio right is tricky. Secondly, you have to let the bowl sit just the right amount of time for the squares to get soft, but – and this is extremely important – not mushy. If the squares start losing their integrity, it’s game over. When I’ve got Shreddies in the sweet spot, don’t even talk to me, because I am not listening.
December 19, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I don’t like soggy cereal, so my milk ratio is a lot less than a normal person’s. And I wouldn’t dream of letting it sit for a minute or two to soak up the milk!
I like the Lucky Charms marshmallow ending too. I also discovered the joys of generic cereal – the cereal part of generic lucky charms was more sugary than the normal lucky charms.
When I end up with leftover milk at the end, I put the bowl on the ground for my cats to lick up.
December 19, 2008 at 3:54 pm
The sit! I thought that was my little cereal secret …
You got surveillance on me, 1000 Awesome Things?
December 19, 2008 at 4:52 pm
this is the best website ever, damn it.
December 19, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I once was so tired that I poured orange juice on my cereal. That was not so pleasant.
THIS WEBSITE ROCKS MY WORLD! Most of the links to the right are lame, by comparison.
November 25, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I have poured orange juice on my cereal and did not notice until my first bite. Man was that surprising lol.
December 19, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Oh, the best! I hate the rationing in Case 2. I love this blog and this is the best post yet.
December 26, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Follow-on comment: I poured apple cider into my cereal this morning. Ugh.
December 28, 2008 at 10:35 pm
I know just how much milk to pour from the carton. I also count how many berries or how many pieces of banana so I have the perfect milk/fruit/cereal ratio….I need a life….. =>
December 30, 2008 at 1:44 am
Hilarious.
I go through this every morning.
January 1, 2009 at 3:24 am
@ Carolyn:
The generic brand Lucky Charms are the BEST. At school (college) the dining halls have this cereal called Marshmallow Mateys with marshmallows in the shapes of anchors, parrots, and other such pirate-y things…they are heaven on earth.
January 1, 2009 at 11:31 am
I don’t know…….I like a little milk left on the bottom of the bowl.
January 2, 2009 at 4:27 am
If you want to hit the mark every time, what you have to do is hold down the cereal with your free hand as you pour, especially with lighter cereals. That way, the milk doesn’t raise up the cereal and deceive you as to the ratio. Additionally, this move can cut down on the time you need for a proper Sit. Give it a shot; it’ll change you world.
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