Pop quiz, hotshot.
A 2006 study in Scientific American Mind magazine said that on average men cry X times a month and woman cry Y times a month. Take a guess on the numbers and see how close you are (answers below).
Now, whether you’re above or below average, consider crying a little bit more. When you feel the hot, salty tears coming, don’t hold back. Let them flood your eyes and pour down your cheeks, because while our egghead pals over at Wikipedia insist there are no conclusive studies showing why people cry, there really are a lot of reasons why crying is great. Hear me out:
• Share the tears. Crying brings us closer together. In these anonymous days of gated communities, big-box stores, and rampant Interneting, sometimes people just need the attention and care of a friend. I mean, when you see your pal crying, what happens? Maybe your eyes well up and you throw them a hug. And maybe that’s exactly what they need and why the tears poured out in the first place.
• Body buzz. Studies show that emotional crying (versus dry-eyes crying, onion crying, or eyelash-in-your-eye crying) actually releases a bunch of wacky hormones that relieve tension by balancing your body’s stress levels. If you’ve ever heard people say ‘I’m okay, I had a good cry,’ then it could be because crying helps straighten out your chemically crooked self right when you need it most. And let’s face it — that’s a lot better than holding it all in and shorting out all your inner circuitry. 
• Hey, I just crapped my diaper. Babies cry before they talk, to let us all know when they’re tired, frustrated, scared, in pain, or when they really, really, really want their video back on. The point is that crying is a primal, universal way to communicate and sure does tell us when something’s up. Way to program that into us, God and/or evolution.
Yes, even though men only cry once a month on average and women let them pour five times or more, there’s room for tears plus, people. So don’t hold back because you think it’s embarassing or a sign of weakness, no. When memories of lost loved ones flood back or painful experiences hit you hard, I say just let those big, wet tears rain down without any guilt or shame.
Because we all need to let go sometimes.
AWESOME!
25 Comments
January 12, 2009 at 12:17 am
Super post Neil!
January 12, 2009 at 12:47 am
This post was indescribably appropriate for my life right now. You are right, sometimes, we all do need to let go.
Finding a blog post that perfectly describes your emotional state? AWESOME!
January 12, 2009 at 3:02 am
i guessed 1/month for men and 10/month for women. 1/2 is a passing grade, good enough.
January 12, 2009 at 3:05 am
Hmm, they must’ve only surveyed the single and recently divorced men…
January 12, 2009 at 8:34 am
Boo hoo.
January 12, 2009 at 9:06 am
I love the Scientific American Mind!
It is the awesomeness!
January 12, 2009 at 11:45 am
I guessed 2 and 4. Not too bad, eh?
lawl@Ranter.
yet another consistently AWESOME post.
thanks.
January 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I must say I’m surprised that men cry once a month. I’ve met countless people who say “I haven’t cried in 5 years.”
Perhaps they’re lying?
April 20, 2009 at 1:24 am
yeah, that’s exactly what i was thinking. i always thought i cried more often than most women, but i don’t even come close to 5 times a month. i think there are just some people who cry several times a day, and they skew the data.
January 12, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Tom, are they maybe of British decent? You know, “Hanging on in quiet despiration is the English way” and all?
January 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Great Post, Neil.
Indeed, it is time to let men get equality with women and have the priviledge of letting it all out if they wish to. Out with the ” stiff upper lip”
January 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Nice guess the amount for both men and women right on the nose :)
Loving this blog…cant wait until tomorrow’s
January 12, 2009 at 7:33 pm
[...] January 12, 2009 at 5:32 pm (Random Thoughts) #854 Crying « 1000 Awesome Things. [...]
January 12, 2009 at 8:16 pm
What’s not awesome? Crying like a baby throughout your entire wedding ceremony, from the moment you see your bride start heading down the aisle. 1) It makes it pretty difficult to get through your (carefully written) vows, when you’re near-sobbing and no one understands what you’re saying. 2) This moment will forever be documented in pictures by everyone in attendance. And they won’t have any where you aren’t red-faced and bawling. 3) Your lips will taste salty for the whole “kiss the bride” thing from all the tears.
Well, uh, or so I’ve heard. Not that I’d have any experience with that or anything.
January 12, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Nice job, Freddo. :P
Very nice post too. =))) However cryin’ too much ain’t good, ain’t good at all. Besides I’ve heard people prefer a hard hit than a huge tear. =))
January 12, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I guessed 1 for men and 4 for women
January 13, 2009 at 1:21 am
I wish I could cry or crap my diaper every time I’m frustrated, scared, or in pain :( dammit
January 13, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I was born without the male fast car gene, but compensated by getting female lacrimose gland gene. Lucky me: cry at bad movies, mere site of Barack Obama, anything involving ‘04 Red Sox, & cute kids, not to mention bad stuff. Great way to slough off stress, highly recommend it.
January 15, 2009 at 11:50 am
Oh, I’m a bit surprised. I guessed 5 for men and 20 for women. Maybe that’s cause I cry so much. I know I’m super emotional, maybe a bit too much actually. But nowdays I can control it pretty well so I don’t cry public so much anymore. It’s sometimes confusing for others if they don’t know what to do.
But if you’re stressed and exhausted it really helps. Sometimes it doesn’t but yes, it always feels better than trying to hold it.
I just love this blog!
January 18, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Great piece. I’m 22 and in college. I guess I am not the typical guy as I seem to cry more than once a month. Sometimes more like once a week depending on what’s going on. They are not always crying my eyes out kind of cries, although I am doing that now as I type this. I totally agree about crying together. My girlfriend and I do it all the time. We have even cried ourselves to sleep in each other’s arms before. Again, as I said, nice piece.
Brandon
January 19, 2009 at 4:16 pm
guess i’m not “normal” in this regard. i cry 4 or 5 times a week. sometimes i get my weeks worth in in a couple of days…lol…or even one day. if i wasn’t in school i’d be crying right now. crying is a great stress reliever. i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t cry when i get stressed or overwhelmed. just a couple more hours and i will do just that.
January 21, 2009 at 2:19 am
I love crying lol it just feels soooo good.
I also like screaming really loud when I’m angry works quite well.
Good post!
January 26, 2009 at 8:07 am
[...] a hit out against you……there’s nothing you can do but sit and cry. Thankfully, it’s good for you . Go ahead and [...]
February 18, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I’m not embarrassed about crying, but honestly, how can women cry FIVE TIMES per month on average?! i would have problems finding that many things to cry about!
May 17, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I used to feel silly or weak for crying over a painful breakup, but i just let it flow if i feel like it. Just let the tears be what they will be without attaching any thought to it. It helps. I certainly do feel better after a good cry (the bad cries or the ones that turn into a pity party, those i like to avoid) :( :0