#846 Sneaking McDonald’s and hiding the evidence


Trouble bubbled at my friend Scott’s house the other night.

See, earlier in the week Scott found a used McDonald’s Chicken McNugget sauce container wedged between the car seat and the car door in the Honda Civic he shares with his wife. He dropped his keys in there, and when he slipped his hand down to fish them out, he came up with a sticky, crusty barbecue sauce container instead.

Yes, his wife Molly was caught grease-handed. In Scott’s mind their sturdy New Year’s pact to eat healthy suddenly dissolved into a dimly lit puddle of lies and deception.

Lucky for me, Scott decided to raise the issue on Monday night just before 24 started. Here’s how it all went down.

Scott: “Oh hey, I dropped my keys in that annoying spot between the car seat and the car door earlier today.”

Molly: (curious as to where this is going) “Okay … ”

Don't get caught

Scott: “Yeah, but when I went to pull it out, I found something else instead.”

Molly: (slightly confused) “O-kay … ?”

Scott: (raises eyebrows slowly and smiles)

Molly: (scrunches eyebrow and turns head in confusion)

Scott: “A McDonald’s barbecue sauce container!”

Molly: (guiltily) “Oh! Nooo … ”

Then there was a tiny pause.

And then we all just burst out laughing.

Because seriously, we’ve all been there, man. Sneaking in those secret McDonald’s Drive-Thru trips and ditching the evidence. Yup, gotta make sure you’ve scooped all the fries off the bottom of the bag, wiped the salt off your lips, checked your shirt for ketchup spillage, and safely filed the excess napkins away in the glove compartment.

Just remember to roll down the windows, pay with cash, and play it safe out there.

And never ever order the nuggets.



Photos from: here, here, and here

43 thoughts on “#846 Sneaking McDonald’s and hiding the evidence

  1. BBQ sauce is the best McNugget sauce. You can put it on everything at McDonald’s: fries, hamburgers, hash browns, egg mcmuffins… even nuggets!

  2. She was probably relieved that Scott wasn’t talking about finding a used condom. There’s no telling what secrets he could have gotten out of her, had he kept the interrogation going. LOL

  3. Kind of crossing the line there don’t you think Eric? Or are you speaking from your own personal experience with your significant other?

    1. i agree. then again, his boyfriend prolly would have an affair. i dont care what it says on your drivers license eric, you still get in f in sex from your buttbuddies

  4. I remember the day and age when going to McDonald’s was a special treat in my family. It was eating out.

  5. Haha…trouble bubble…
    I’ve eaten at McDonald’s once in the last four years, and that’s OK with me. In fact, I pride myself on the fact that I’ve rarely eaten fast food since college. But a couple times each year I get a mad craving for a couple of soft tacos and a Nachos Bell Grande…

  6. McDonalds used to be awesome. Like those old McDonaldland cookies in the cardboard boxes. The 45 minute commercial with the kids ice skating. At least it felt like 45 minutes. Happy Meal Toys, milkshakes, fries, the dirty ball pit……man, I loved McDonalds.

  7. “Bad post. I haven’t had McDonalds in 9 years. Not awesome.”

    Claiming something is a ‘bad post’ because it wasn’t relevant to you. THAT is not awesome.

  8. jdurley! You’re not going to let me live that down? However, I guess having one comment thread refer to another comment thread which “accidentally” ripped-off another comment thread is what makes this site so great. But still – that’s mad harsh, yo! :)

    I once tried to make a covert trip to Peter Luger’s (for non-New Yorkers, this is the #1 steak house in NYC) without telling the wife. Well, when she came home to find me totally passed out, empty-walleted and with a bad case of the “meat sweats”, I had to come clean pretty quickly.

  9. McDonalds? I agree with the entry, but McDonalds? It should have been about fast-food in general. I’m not a masochist and therefor do not eat there.

    Burger King, Wendy’s and White Castle are all valid replacements.

  10. This happened to me today. Seriously. Wow. She hasn’t asked me “what did you have for lunch” yet? It’s coming any time.

  11. hahaha :) that pic with the kid is awesome. Yup. Sneakin’ on havin that kinda food is as good as having something sweet when you’ve been on a diet for ages… Even that strength protein bar feels like Heaven. LOL

  12. Is it weird to sneak fast food and hide the evidence… even when you don’t have anyone in particular to hide it from? I find that necessary the VERY few times I eat fast food…

  13. Maybe you’re sneaking from yourself :D We usually are, anyway. Everything is connected to one’s self. And you do consider it your guilty pleasure.

  14. I have done that a few too many times and only been caught a handful but that’s what makes it exhilarating and somehow it tastes better. Great tip about leaving the windows open, that is key.

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  16. When I was a kid mom would take me out ( I had 6 brothers) and we would get something special..usually McDonalds. She was the one who taught me about hiding the evidence. “Now we have to eat all of this before we go home and make sure nothing is left in the car or your brothers will find out.” Thanks mom…you are awesome.

  17. I can’t believe it. I just did that today. I had a Happy Meal and ordered a Sundae for dessert. I ate the fries on the way home, and then while I was listening to the radio in the car, I found out about this website because Neil Pasricha was being interviewed, and that’s when I ate the hamburger. Then they were still talking so I ate the Sundae. Then I packed up all the evidence and threw it in the trash in the kitchen. Later on that evening after dinner, I confessed to my husband and he confessed that he had Burger King for lunch. Funny!

  18. Jack in the Box is my big temptation. The secret is to keep everything in the bag unless you’re currently eating it. When you’re done, you scrunch it all up and stuff it in your empty beverage container. Also keep a moderately messy car, so if you can’t dump the evidence right away, you can still cover up by claiming it’s just a leftover cup from long ago.

  19. Greetings , is their a way to sneak in mcdonalds home ? i dont like to eat in the car , i would like to buy in a drive thrue and go home safe without my wife knows , she usually is in the room but i have a private room work room that she knocks before coming in , i watch my movies , play some console games online with friends … i would really want to know how to Fricken get that chicken mcnuggets with the barbaque sause in my house without holding a mcdonalds paper bag , whenver i hold it i start sweating when i reach the door of my house i play like mission impossible , i mean just a sound of a tik or a car passes by my heart falls , please help me get my mcdonalds in everyday and discard it later the next day :(

  20. Baby-child~ simply irresistably looks much like my “Cambell’s soup child”, C.C. in 1978. She LOVED Mc Donald’s and one of her first things to say with stars in her eyes was, “French Fries!”
    Very funny story Neil.

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  22. I HATE McDonalds. Everything is actually tasteless. And it is HUGELY over-Americanised.

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