Trouble bubbled at my friend Scott’s house the other night.
See, earlier in the week Scott found a used McDonald’s Chicken McNugget sauce container wedged between the car seat and the car door in the Honda Civic he shares with his wife. He dropped his keys in there, and when he slipped his hand down to fish them out, he came up with a sticky, crusty barbecue sauce container instead.
Yes, his wife Molly was caught grease-handed. In Scott’s mind their sturdy New Year’s pact to eat healthy suddenly dissolved into a dimly lit puddle of lies and deception.
Lucky for me, Scott decided to raise the issue on Monday night just before 24 started. Here’s how it all went down.
Scott: “Oh hey, I dropped my keys in that annoying spot between the car seat and the car door earlier today.”
Molly: (curious as to where this is going) “Okay … “
Scott: “Yeah, but when I went to pull it out, I found something else instead.”
Molly: (slightly confused) “O-kay … ?”
Scott: (raises eyebrows slowly and smiles)
Molly: (scrunches eyebrow and turns head in confusion)
Scott: “A McDonald’s barbecue sauce container!”
Molly: (guiltily) “Oh! Nooo … “
Then there was a tiny pause.
And then we all just burst out laughing.
Because seriously, we’ve all been there, man. Sneaking in those secret McDonald’s Drive-Thru trips and ditching the evidence. Yup, gotta make sure you’ve scooped all the fries off the bottom of the bag, wiped the salt off your lips, checked your shirt for ketchup spillage, and safely filed the excess napkins away in the glove compartment.
Just remember to roll down the windows, pay with cash, and play it safe out there.
And never ever order the nuggets.
AWESOME!
30 Comments
January 22, 2009 at 12:43 am
BBQ sauce is the best McNugget sauce. You can put it on everything at McDonald’s: fries, hamburgers, hash browns, egg mcmuffins… even nuggets!
January 22, 2009 at 12:49 am
I had a mustard sauce stain on my wallet for a month before my wife forced me to buy a new one. It was worth it.
January 22, 2009 at 2:02 am
Yes!!!!!
I lovvvvve me a #2 – the 2 cheeseburger meal
Mmm Mmm good
…When I was a fat kid I was known to throw down a Big Mac like it was going out of style, but that’s neither here, nor there…
;)
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2009/01/21/lets-just-take-a-moment-to-twist-the-knife-a-littlethe-story-of-how-rudy-giuliani-looks-oh-so-foolish-a-mere-4-months-later/
January 22, 2009 at 2:23 am
She was probably relieved that Scott wasn’t talking about finding a used condom. There’s no telling what secrets he could have gotten out of her, had he kept the interrogation going. LOL
January 22, 2009 at 9:10 am
Kind of crossing the line there don’t you think Eric? Or are you speaking from your own personal experience with your significant other?
July 20, 2009 at 2:04 pm
i agree. then again, his boyfriend prolly would have an affair. i dont care what it says on your drivers license eric, you still get in f in sex from your buttbuddies
January 22, 2009 at 9:12 am
I remember the day and age when going to McDonald’s was a special treat in my family. It was eating out.
January 22, 2009 at 9:40 am
Haha…trouble bubble…
I’ve eaten at McDonald’s once in the last four years, and that’s OK with me. In fact, I pride myself on the fact that I’ve rarely eaten fast food since college. But a couple times each year I get a mad craving for a couple of soft tacos and a Nachos Bell Grande…
January 22, 2009 at 9:49 am
Ha ha, she was so busted! Sort of like Freddo with the faux Federer comment on yesterday’s post.
January 22, 2009 at 10:03 am
Bad post. I haven’t had McDonalds in 9 years. Not awesome.
January 22, 2009 at 10:09 am
McDonalds used to be awesome. Like those old McDonaldland cookies in the cardboard boxes. The 45 minute commercial with the kids ice skating. At least it felt like 45 minutes. Happy Meal Toys, milkshakes, fries, the dirty ball pit……man, I loved McDonalds.
January 22, 2009 at 11:33 am
This hits waaaay too close to home.
January 22, 2009 at 12:03 pm
“Bad post. I haven’t had McDonalds in 9 years. Not awesome.”
Claiming something is a ‘bad post’ because it wasn’t relevant to you. THAT is not awesome.
January 22, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I’m glad I’m blessed with good genes that I can indulge in fast food.
January 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I’m so glad you made this post. I thought I was the only one who did things like this.
January 22, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I did the same thing over the Christmas holiday when my girlfriend was out of town.
I paid for it dearly. On the toilet.
January 22, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Got to have something different than Rotten Ronnie’s
January 22, 2009 at 6:35 pm
jdurley! You’re not going to let me live that down? However, I guess having one comment thread refer to another comment thread which “accidentally” ripped-off another comment thread is what makes this site so great. But still – that’s mad harsh, yo! :)
I once tried to make a covert trip to Peter Luger’s (for non-New Yorkers, this is the #1 steak house in NYC) without telling the wife. Well, when she came home to find me totally passed out, empty-walleted and with a bad case of the “meat sweats”, I had to come clean pretty quickly.
January 22, 2009 at 6:42 pm
McNuggets suck. I would become a vegitarian if that mystery meat was all that was available!
January 22, 2009 at 7:01 pm
McDonalds? I agree with the entry, but McDonalds? It should have been about fast-food in general. I’m not a masochist and therefor do not eat there.
Burger King, Wendy’s and White Castle are all valid replacements.
January 22, 2009 at 9:21 pm
This happened to me today. Seriously. Wow. She hasn’t asked me “what did you have for lunch” yet? It’s coming any time.
January 23, 2009 at 9:05 am
hahaha :) that pic with the kid is awesome. Yup. Sneakin’ on havin that kinda food is as good as having something sweet when you’ve been on a diet for ages… Even that strength protein bar feels like Heaven. LOL
January 23, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Is it weird to sneak fast food and hide the evidence… even when you don’t have anyone in particular to hide it from? I find that necessary the VERY few times I eat fast food…
January 24, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Maybe you’re sneaking from yourself :D We usually are, anyway. Everything is connected to one’s self. And you do consider it your guilty pleasure.
January 26, 2009 at 2:03 am
Trade McNugget with a fifth of Malt liquor and I am with you on that one
May 7, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I have done that a few too many times and only been caught a handful but that’s what makes it exhilarating and somehow it tastes better. Great tip about leaving the windows open, that is key.
July 4, 2009 at 7:05 pm
[...] Sneaking McDonald’s and Hiding the Evidence [...]
August 31, 2009 at 11:51 am
When I was a kid mom would take me out ( I had 6 brothers) and we would get something special..usually McDonalds. She was the one who taught me about hiding the evidence. “Now we have to eat all of this before we go home and make sure nothing is left in the car or your brothers will find out.” Thanks mom…you are awesome.
December 18, 2009 at 10:56 pm
My dad? Has not had one in… well, before I was born!!!
December 31, 2009 at 7:08 pm
In the movie theater!! Ha. . . . .. .