#826 When you didn’t play the lottery and your numbers didn’t come up

Don't play, don't lose

I don’t play the lottery very often, but when I do I’m pretty sure I’m going to win. I take pains to ensure all my family members’ birthdays are evenly covered as I carefully color in all the bubbles and then hand my sheet to the convenience store cashier.

Kicking cigarette butts and sucking on a popsicle while walking home, my mind wanders off and begins wrestling with difficult questions that I assume plague the rich daily. Pool or tennis court? Private jet or yacht? Tall, snooty butler with a thin mustache or fat, clumsy butler with a heart of gold?

And I think about whether I’d donate massive chunks of my riches to people who’ve done small, simple things for me when I was down on my luck. You know, a couple million dollar tip for the coffee shop waitress one day, a new mansion for the guy who slices my cold cuts nice and thin the next. I toy with the idea of stashing my cash in a vault and swimming in it like Scrooge McDuck, traveling around the world by rickshaw, or possibly just buying the Internet.

My mind entertains these wild dreams because being a dreamer is great fun. The thoughts are free, so I enjoy them on my way home, squeezing the ticket in my pocket, and then posting it on the fridge so I don’t forget the big day.

Yes, this little Jackpot Fantasy continues until the numbers are announced. And I don’t win. No, I don’t even have one number right. I’m not even close. I shouldn’t have played. I’m an idiot who just threw three bucks away for no reason.

But I guess that’s why it’s great when I don’t play, and I check my numbers, and sure enough they didn’t come up. Now who’s laughing? Me, the three bucks richer guy.

AWESOME!

If I won the lottery, I'd get massive plastic surgery to look like a duck

Photo from: here

25 thoughts on “#826 When you didn’t play the lottery and your numbers didn’t come up

    1. haha, I like that 500 is nothing big. :) The most I’ve won is 10 bucks of a scratch card. Of course it worked out well since my parents bought it for me for my birthday or it was in my stocking or something. I’ve never actually bought a scratch or lottery ticket or went to a casino and gambled.

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  1. Did anyone win the $39-million last night? Every time a big number is up for grabs, myself and whoever I’m working with at the gas station make up big lists of who we’d buy stuff for, who’d we shun, and how many minutes it would take to call the boss to say we’re leaving.

  2. Isn’t that the point for most of us buying a ticket in the first place? We KNOW the odds of winning are incredibly slim… YET that hoping and dreaming with that little ticket in your pocket can make for great conversation with friends and family!

    $3 can be truly AWESOME!

  3. But, dear lord, how bad would it be the day your numbers did come up and you hadn’t played? This is definitely one of those things where the good outcome (even numerous accumulated good outcomes over time) could never outweight the one bad outcome.

    1. Many years ago I went on vacation and didn’t have someone play my numbers for me. 5 out of 6 came up – I would have won $3,000, making it my best of all time. Haven’t gotten over it yet. I always cover my numbers if I can’t play, or make darn sure I don’t check them if I don’t.

  4. the most i ever didn’t win was $48 million. i’ve realized that the higher the jackpot, the higher my hopes, and the harder i fall when i don’t win. sux0rz.

  5. Working as a caller at a Bingo Hall, I see how people go crazy about lottery… Seeing as I don’t gamble or play lottery at all, I think it’s interesting to watch people with their gambling superstitions, knowing they probably will never win…

  6. my table game dealers class pooled in for a bunch of tickets. if we win i’ll keep 50,000 and go to figi or some remote island and work as a dealer at a resort. and i’ll put the rest in savings.

    of course we wont win.

    i like the article. good writing.

  7. To Dream saves lives.
    AS DOES 1000AWESOMETHINGS.COM,
    which will likely be eternal!
    Love the question posed in the last sentence.
    I’d say, YOU VERY RICH, FOR SURE!!!

  8. technically, you’re not three bucks richer… just breaking even, but I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down anyway… because I’m awesome

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