#823 When you find out what was making that horrible smell and get rid of it

What a weird cover

Okay, a few years back my eleventh grade Chemistry class began with Ms. Serevetas handing out textbooks. A small woman wearing big glasses and a big labcoat, she just introduced herself and then began calling us up, one by one, to the front of the room.

It was the first day so nobody had the guts to just start talking or playing games in the back. Honestly, we just sat in mind-numbing silence while each person shuffled up, signed their name, collected their ratty old book, and shuffled back down.

It was a slow and painful ordeal until something really funny happened: one guy’s book stunk.

Honestly, it just really stunk. It was terrible. A steamy hot funk filled the room and people started giggling. Some laughed, some pointed, but Stinky-Book Guy stared straight ahead, pretending nothing was happening.

Unfortunately for him, the buzz and chatter quickly built to a point where Ms. Serevetas was forced to take action. She did so by looking up at Stinky suspiciously, and then scrunching her eyebrows with a pained grimace until he was finally forced to began fanning through the pages while everybody stared on in anticipation.

And remember: we were bored out of our minds here so this Mystery of the Funky Textbook captivated us like nothing else. The room got quiet and tense and everyone craned their necks and stared at the stink, the book, and the guy, with tingly anticipation.

Stinky-Book Guy fanned through the pages slowly at first, and then quicker, and then quicker, until a few pages slapped real fast and told us all that the mystery stench had been found.

So we watched with teeth clenched as he peeled back the page to reveal an old … rotting … piece of salami.

Don't disrespect Boyle with cured meats

Yeah, apparently someone had the good idea to drop a thin slice of cured meat between two pages on Boyle’s Law for a nice, long sit in a musty storage closet all summer. Now that once beautifully speckled slice of spice was gray and slimy and smelled like a fish market the Tuesday after a long weekend.

Anyway, at this point there was only one thing to do and Stinky-Book Guy did it: he bit his lip, nodded forcefully, and then peeled that salami off, walked over to the garbage can, and dropped it right on in.

And so — whether it’s the old can of salmon in your kitchen garbage pail, the toilet that didn’t get flushed before a long vacation, or the pool of dirty water collecting under the carpet in your basement, how does it feel to find that stinky treasure and just ditch real fast?


Eat it don't keep it

Photos from: here and here

31 thoughts on “#823 When you find out what was making that horrible smell and get rid of it

  1. Reminds me of when we put salami in the tuba at school.

    No one knew where the smell was coming from, and it was rank.

    A job well done in my book.

  2. One of my freshman year roommates was a bit of a jerk, and used to constantly play pranks on the girls living in the dorm room right below us. His pranks usually ran the gamut of vaseline on the doorknob of their room, or leaving their phone off the hook every time he was in their room.

    However, once he decided to go really big. We’d discovered a carton of milk in our dorm fridge that had an expiry date about 3 months prior. Well, he took that carton, headed downstairs, and promptly hid it behind their refrigerator (a completely hidden, and difficult spot to get to, not to mention a really warm spot). They came back into their room a few hours later after classes, and nearly barfed. It was this guy’s crowning achievement.

    Well, other than the time that he dumped out a full 2-liter soda bottle of mine to turn it into a bong.

  3. Great story! (…and school teachers everywhere will be shaking out the books before storing them away this spring.)

  4. How funny! I wish I could have pulled a prank like that in my high school, but they keep strict track of all of the books and I would have been found out :(

  5. Two weeks ago my sister got a rat in her car. Yes, a rat. So, the rat died and, obviously, it smelled like s**t. However that was not the worst. The rat, before dying, got into the air conditioning duct and when my sister turned the car on and the AC, butchered it and she had to drive it all the way to the mechanic, with the nasty smell in it. The mechanic said his stomach was too weak and he couldnt handle it, so she took it to another! She was later charged around 250$ for cleaning the rat’s remains!

  6. 2 most disgusting smells ever
    1. Left donair sauce in my jacket pocket in a little container for some reason for a couple months – didn’t realize it – it totally went rank and moldy – this is evaporated milk, vinagar, garlic and sugar, decaying – so when i put my hand in my jacket pocket after not wearing it for a while and the container burst – it was the most rank smell EVER! had to throw the jacket out after washing it twice – opposite of finding hidden treasure in your spring jacket haha
    2. when a family of racoons somewhere finds their way into your walls and mysteriously dies behind your drywall – and your landlord doesn’t want to pay to have the wall ripped out to get the bodies out of there so you have to live with the smell every time you walk in your front hallway for months until their bodies have disintegrated and there is no more smell – now that would have felt good to get rid of – ugh!

    1. I know that second smell. It was in my back garden, by the shed. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, in fact I wasn’t sure if I had just imagined it because it would come and go, much like the wind in the back garden by the shed.
      Eventually, it came and stayed and then it got downright insulting, at which point I broke out the flashlight and then the rake.
      The raccoon was under the shed, dead and putrefying. I took a deep breath pulled its stiff body with the rake. It got stuck. Another deep breath and a little more exertion and it was out.
      Yep, I know well that second smell – ugh is right.

    2. well me and my mum were watching Bones the other night on the couch and we heard this tap. tap. tap on our back wall. i thought ‘WHO could it be?’ (haha the thrill of watching a murder mystery) but mum out loud said ‘urghhhhhhh its a rat!’ weve had rats in the ceiling for ages but never in the walls, and this one sounded HUGE. like, huge as in i thought it was a person tapping on the back door. so we lifted our legs off the floor and hugged each other coz it seemed it about to knock a hole through our wall and zoom across the floor to gnaw at our ankles D: God, i wished it was dead, but now im not sure which is worse….

  7. Rotting potatoes, anybody? It took us about a week to figure were it was coming from since potatoes don’t smell when yuor two inches away.

  8. My ex-husband’s girlfriend accidentally shut a neighbor’s cat in her car just before she left on a three-week summer vacation. I am sorry for the neighbor and for the cat. But it gave its life for a wonderful cause.

  9. For weeks something in my mom’s new car SMELLED.

    We looked everywhere to try to find the source of the nasty odor, but to no avail.

    Finally, one day, sitting in the car before pulling out of a friend’s driveway, my foot hits something under the driver’s seat.

    A two-month-old chef’s salad from our hotel in West Virginia.

    That salad had been stewing under that seat for two months, wreaking havoc on our noses. The terrarium of old salad bits and rotten egg was probably one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen.

    But when we were able to remove it and put it into a BIOHAZARD container, the smell of rotting flesh that turned out to be rotting salad had been contained and removed. That was totally


  10. The company I used to work for gave out frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving. The kind you could go bowling with if you were so inspired.

    Well, my co-worker put hers in her trunk and forgot about it. She didn’t use her trunk. We worked near Boston, and she parked her car outside at night, so the turkey stayed frozen all winter. BUT, that spring there was a smell that could kill. She cleaned the car. Shampooed the rugs and seats. Still it smelled. She never thought to clean the trunk because she never used it.

    Finally, the mechanic at her garage opened the trunk. Ewww.

    It has been 20 years since that happened and I still love telling that story!

  11. Hehe…but if it’s coming from the toilet…it might take some time to get rid of it, especially if the toilet’s clogged. Funny story, though. :)

  12. True story: once when I found the source of an awful smell, it was dead cat. In my dryer. You see, Sassy like to curl up in there on the dryer-fresh undies, and one time I restarted the dryer before we left the house. Later that night I went to pull out the clothes, and there was here lifeless carcass, stinking up the house like last week’s garbage. After I buried her in the ravine behind our house, I tucked our two boys into their bunks and broke the news to them. Our oldest, then 5, initially cracked up. Twenty minutes later, the 3-year-old started sniffling and they both howled “I miss Sassy” for an hour.

  13. And how you like this “tourist” city planning?
    The sewage treatment plant is downtown; near some great lakeshore, restaurants and land developments; in one of the most beautiful cities in Canada and it’s rank almost every day of the year, but especially in the summer during highest tourism.
    Try getting rid of that smell!

  14. Well my dad one time shot a skunk under our tack room. You see the problem was he couldnt see it so he was shooting blindly well he shot it but got it wounded and it sprayed and died…. It smelt bad but he didn’t tell anyone so it began to rot… An aside from the skunk spray smell we had a decaying smell and we didn’t know wat it was for weeks!!! Dad finally told us and we had to jack up the tack room to get it!! AND I HAD TO GET IT

    1. Snake Shit. definately the worst smell known to man. Dead snake PLUS dead snake shit is off the scale… From Bex in North Queensland Australia;
      where we have big snakes

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