TV theme songs are a dying breed.
Networks flash zooming logos or three-second jingles in place of the overextended 60-second song explaining how Gilligan and crew ended up on the island or what Will Smith is doing in Bel Air. And sure, maybe they get a few more commercials in or maybe we’d fast-forward through them anyway, but there was something special about curling up on the couch under a ratty, old blanket and listening to these classics, week after week. Let’s count down seven of the greatest:
7. Growing Pains. With old scrolling photos of all the main characters and beautifully cheesy crooning about how, as long as we got each other, we’ve got the world spinning right in our hands, the Growing Pains theme song was the sitcom equivalent of taking a stroll up Grandma’s Staircase.
6. Family Ties. Sha-la-la-la!
5. Cheers. Old photos of men in top hats and Lincoln beards sipping fine ales and spirits in the theme song that elevates boozing after work into a noble pastime to be squeezed between polo matches and quail hunting. Romantic lyrics invited you into this magical place where everybody knows your name.
4. The Golden Girls. My brother-in-law Dee summarizes this theme song in three words: old ladies hugging. Including side-hugs, shoulder squeezes, and group huddles, how many do you count?
3. The Facts of Life. This Diff’rent Strokes spinoff stars housekeeper Edna Garrett making a lateral career move into a housemother of an all-girls school. The Facts of Life told us bluntly that you take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both, and there you have, the facts of life … the facts of life.
2. Perfect Strangers. Watch as Balki Bartokomous shirks his sheep shepherding shtick in Mypos and sails over to the US with an ‘America or Burst’ crate to live with his distant cousin Larry in Chicago. Gotta love his mom’s tearful hankie-wave and the classic Dance of Joy. These two really are standing tall on the wings of their dreams. Nothing’s gonna stop them now.
1. Who’s the Boss? St. Louis Cardinals second baseman Tony Micelli busts up his shoulder in one heart-wrenching slide into home plate. So he’s forced to leave Brooklyn in his big, blue van and ends up taking the road that’s hidden to score a brand new life around the bend. At the end of the trail is Angela, Mona, Jonathan, and a lucrative man-maiding gig.
Cornball theme songs from the 80′s were chock full of soaring crescendos and hokey lyrics about family values laid neat and tidy over fairytale plotlines and streaming images of group hugs and wacky hijinx. There was something so warm, comforting, and dependable about plopping down on the couch each week for that half-hour of good times with good pals.
So, to cheesy TV theme songs from the 80s we say: Thank you for being a friend.
AWESOME!
47 Comments
March 9, 2009 at 4:24 am
As awesome as that entry was…the fact that you managed to talk about The Facts of Life without making a Tootie reference makes it infinitely moreso. Well done!
March 9, 2009 at 5:46 am
Great job! hope you post more regarding this..
March 9, 2009 at 6:55 am
I don’t know most of those themes as I’m British (“Cheers” is the one I know, and a fine theme it is) but I appreciate the sentiment none the less.
March 9, 2009 at 8:54 am
What? No Silver Spoons?! Greatest American Hero?! Heresy!
March 9, 2009 at 9:05 am
I thought Full House has a pretty neat theme myself.. :P Great entry nonetheless!
March 9, 2009 at 10:27 am
Wacky hijinks = Three’s Company
Speaking of which, why is that not on the list?
March 9, 2009 at 10:45 am
The LOVE BOAT, soon will be making another run.
The LOVE BOAT, promises something for everyone!
March 9, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Don’t forget Mr. Belvedere.
“Streaks on the china…never mattered before”
March 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I vaguely remember loving Perfect Strangers. That Balki, what a maroon!
Also, I know this isn’t sitcom technically but it’s from the 80s and just as cheesy. The theme from Shining Time Station on PBS talks about reaching for wisdom and speed. A classic.
March 9, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Where’s Charles in Charge? He’s in charge of our days and our nights, and he’s also in charge of our wrongs and our rights.
August 6, 2009 at 1:18 pm
THANK YOU. The second I read the title, I heard “There’s a new boy in the neighborhood. He lives downstairs and it’s understood…”
March 9, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I wonder why they never used really good songs for most shows? Miami Vice has a great theme song.
March 9, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Great list. Cheers was always one of my favorite theme songs although I have to agree with Rose…. Silver Spoons is super cheesy!
March 9, 2009 at 11:33 pm
that is not so awesome…
March 10, 2009 at 7:19 am
Awesome!! Of all your posts, this is my favourite! My iPod is packed with old school TV Themes: CHiPs, Spenser for Hire, Spiderman (Live Action 1977), Dynasty… I can’t get enough of them. Thanks you for coming out and letting me know I’m not geek-alone on this one!!
Keep up the great work on the blog!!
Cheers
[A]
March 10, 2009 at 7:23 am
Wonder Years!
March 10, 2009 at 8:19 am
@Carolyn – Mr. Belevedere – definitely. Of course, I hear it in my head being screamed by Stewie Griffin!
March 10, 2009 at 10:25 am
Perfect Strangers!! I miss that show so much!
March 10, 2009 at 11:37 am
John Sebastian’s classic contribution to sitcom themes . . . “Welcome Back, Kotter”
March 10, 2009 at 9:39 pm
In my childhood I had a piano book of Greatest TV Hits and knew how to play the themes for Jeopardy, Silver Spoons, Who’s the Boss, Golden Girls, Family Ties and Cheers was my piano recital.
March 10, 2009 at 11:37 pm
And his son…he did protest
They all came West…
Best of the West
March 11, 2009 at 10:33 am
jajaja great memories!!!
March 11, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Ok, Saved by the bell?!!! It originated in 1989.
March 13, 2009 at 12:04 pm
This made me laugh so much, I love you!
March 13, 2009 at 6:33 pm
baywatch!…. Great list – you could have counted down the top 50~
March 13, 2009 at 6:42 pm
The Wonder Years – That was cheeeze! -
March 16, 2009 at 10:16 am
In Canada we had a little program called “The Littlest Hobo”, about a german shepard who roamed from town to town helping solve crimes (wow, that sounds even more ridiculous now that I type it out). It was pretty painful, with a major lack of narrative, but had a kick-ass theme song:
(check it out on youtube)
There’s a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road is where I’ll always be
Every stop I make, I’ll make a new friend
Can’t stay for long, just turn around and I’m gone again.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.
Down this road, that never seems to end,
Where new adventure, lies just around the bend.
So if you want to join me for a while
Just grab your hat, come travel light – that’s hobo style.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home.
So if you want to join me for a while
Just grab your hat, come travel light
That’s hobo style.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.
March 22, 2009 at 2:00 am
Do you remember when Carling Bassett guest-starred?
January 4, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I LOVED The Littlest Hobo!!
Mike Myers was in an episode once.
March 21, 2009 at 9:53 pm
i hate to be one of THOSE people (again) but what about Small Wonder? and The Cosby Show?
still, a very good list
one of the few blogs i will check back in on fer sure!
March 22, 2009 at 7:18 pm
its almost like you dont even need to watch the show to understand it– just watch the opening sequence, it tells you everything you need to know.
-kevin of basquiatthinksimcool.blogspot.com
March 30, 2009 at 9:07 am
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April 11, 2009 at 5:53 am
no full house??
WTF?
April 15, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Not that I’m impressed a lot, but this is a lot more than I expected when I stumpled upon a link on Furl telling that the info here is awesome. Thanks.
April 27, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Wow this was great! I just took a good ‘ol walk down memory lane :) Thank you soo much!
May 12, 2009 at 12:21 am
the who’s the boss theme song made me tear up. this might as well be a compilation of the openers to all of my favorite shows as a kid (minus facts of life… just never saw it somehow, and cheers, which depressed the hell out of me).
November 17, 2009 at 12:56 am
yay growing pains theme song!
December 27, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I think the best version of the Growing Pains theme song is the acapella version. It just sounds so cool.
February 1, 2010 at 9:28 am
I know the full theme song of Full House lol
March 16, 2010 at 10:03 pm
I counted nine hugs in the golden girls theme. I probably missed one though
March 20, 2010 at 5:31 pm
What about the Andy Griffith Show??? it’s impossible not to whistle along with it.
May 3, 2010 at 3:11 pm
My fam used to have a game regarding the “Growing Pains” opening theme…we would try to guess which member of the Seaver family would remain for a final moment at the end of the walk when everyone else turns to go back into the house. There weren’t really stakes on the bet…just bragging rights. My brother won a disproportionate number of times because his answer was always “Mike”, and, of course, the producers chose the adorable Kirk Cameron to most frequently give the final nod.
There really is nothing like a good, cheesy TV theme song. Except singing them while intoxicated – that is hours of entertainment.
May 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Ditto Hols on singing them when drunk. That’s great!
What was that one show with the truck driver and the monkey? BJ and the Bear or something?
June 12, 2010 at 1:32 am
if you’re looking for me
you better check under the sea….
June 13, 2010 at 11:23 am
I have actually never heard of any of these shows. But don’t judge, i was born in the mid-nineties.
I counted 8 hugs… im sure i missed some
August 3, 2010 at 9:45 am
Two words. Punky Brewster. You gotta love those orphans.
August 5, 2010 at 4:02 pm
What about the Muppet Show? “It’s time to face the music!…”