#783 When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system

not-waiting-in-any-linesIf you’ve called your work voicemail system or local phone company so many times that you know how to jump through all the hoops to get right where you want, then you can Press 1 for being

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

20 thoughts on “#783 When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system

  1. there really is nothing better than that. it’s just like BAM BAM BAM and you’re done. i have UPS and DHL pickup service down pat.

    AWESOME!

  2. Here’s a couple tips for dealing with corporate phone systems. #1. if you’re ever in the “talking to the machine” loop, just press 0. about 99% of the time, you’ll be redirected to the first available human. #2. If you get a human and it’s an obvious non-American with a thickly garbled accent, say the following “I wish to talk to an American between the ages of 18 and 35 who speaks English as a first language.” They are required to transfer you. You may have to wait a bit longer, but it’s worth it to not be sworn at in Hindi.

    1. This is true. Some other useful ways to get through those automated phone systems include using gethuman.com, and (so I’ve heard) laughing uncontrollably or swearing.

      I enjoyed this post =).

  3. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. Most are full of garbage, but this is really interesting – and useful too!

  4. What’s even more awesome is when you just press ‘0’ a whole bunch of times and get through to some cranky assnik who’s either so far down the seniority totem pole or so high up in awesomeness that they get assigned the shitheads who can’t handle a phone menu.

  5. What’s even more awesome is when you just press ‘0’ a whole bunch of times and get through to some cranky assnik who’s either so far down the seniority totem pole or so high up in awesomeness that they get assigned the meatheads who can’t handle a phone menu.

  6. i used to dread going back to my desk and seeing that little red voicemail light lit up. then i had to deal with the voicemail AND the telephone system.

  7. love this post – i’m all about this … for me it’s 1-800-4-Scotia… memorized all the codes and my bank card so i can whip through telephone banking prompts. awesometown.

  8. I substitute for multiple school districts and they all use voice response systems to assign jobs. So after a couple of years I can just zip through the menus in a flash. Though it sometimes gets messy when I start punching in the sequence for one autocaller into a different one.

  9. I just love it when you trick the service into letting you bipass all the automation by using the old rotary/dial phone!

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