#782 Mixing cookie batter with your bare hands

dive-right-in1Yeah, yeah, health nuts, we know, we know.

Hands are the dirtiest part of our body — turning doorknobs, flushing toilets, shaking hands all day in a hot, neverending exchange of sweat, grime, and bacteria. And yes, those germs form tiny Ewok Villages in the cracks of our palm and corners of our fingernails and leap at any opportunity to settle down in a new home.

Germophobes of the world, we hear your warning. But we can’t heed your warning.
E-E-E-E-Ewoks!No, we can’t help it, because squeezing the daylights out of raw cookie batter with our bare hands is too big an enjoyment and too effective a technique to pass up.
Sure, some of us start with good intentions — mixing patiently with a fork as raw eggs slide everywhere, butter clumps up, and big flour towers stand tall on the sides of the bowl. But even those folks hit a wall eventually and just toss the fork in the sink, roll up their sleeves, and dive right into the batter fingers first.
play-doh-spaghetti-factory1Yes, we squeeze and squeeze and squeeze that cold, wet mess and press it out through our fingers like a Play-Doh Spaghetti Factory. We squish butter up, rub flour in, and fold those chocolate chips in there good. When we’re done, sometimes we lick each of our fingers and get raw cookie batter all over our chin.
But after it’s all over we slop those blobs on a baking pan and throw them right in the cooker for some fine tastin’.
Completely unsanitary.
Completely delicious.


Photos from: here, here, here, and here

38 thoughts on “#782 Mixing cookie batter with your bare hands

  1. Fun With Teens: Making marshmallow fondant cake frosting. This is the hit teenage version of messing with cookie dough. Why? It is incredibly, unbelievably, insanely messy, sticky and sweet. And it generates laughter in the kitchen, piles of it, from the teens no less. Pour a large bag of marshmallows into a bowl with a few tablespoons of water into the microwave for 30 seconds (x2 or 3) until you have a nice foamy mush, dribble the mixture onto a large bag of powdered sugar that’s been dumped on the tableand mix with your hands (no utensil will do) until you reach a smooth, stretchy dough that can be kneaded. Watch a youtube video to get specific instructions. Don’t wear dark suede shoes because the powdered will be flying. The teens have never been allowed to participate with permission in such a messy undertaking…and afterwards the finger licking is awesome. Later, when it’s all rolled out and topping the cake for that satin smooth finish, you’ll feel like a team of professional bakers.

  2. Awesome! Plus, if you give in to this desire, you can return that $400 Kitchenaid mixer that you got on your wedding registry, but didn’t end up using, because you mixed everything up with your hands! (not that I know anyone who did this.. errrr…)

    That’ll put some dough in your pocket.. Har Har!

    1. Good one! I was tempted to comment on that guy, but thought I’d wait to see if Chad took a shot at it.

  3. If you like mixing cookie dough with your hands, try doing up your meatloaf the same way. It’s awesome!

  4. When I was doing a baking course, I would literally be up to my elbows in choux pastry at the end of every day. :D

    Cookie dough is better, though.

  5. can i just tell you how happy i am that this one is on the list?
    my first time looking at this site, last week, i was thinking they BETTER have something about cookie dough! (while hoolding a batch in my hands)
    the first thing i saw on the page? COOKIE DOUGH!!
    i think that’s something else you should put on the list: hoping something’s on the AWESOME list and finding out that it really is there:)

  6. LOVE THIS! When I was 9 years old I made a batch of brownies. The box said “stir by hand.” So that is what I did: stuck my hands in there to mix up the ingredients. Of course it is kinda hard to get the sticky gooey stuff off, and get it into the baking pan. My mother came into the kitchen and could not stop laughing. It’s a family legend to this day, 30 years later.

  7. It is impossible to mix cookie dough any other way period. Hands ensure an even distribution of cookie bits. My BF is a clean freak, so most of the time I tell him

    “Don’t come into the kitchen because you don’t even want to know.”

  8. whats really funny is i am just getting ready to make a BIG batch of cookies and decided to get online first

  9. dont like it wen it gets stuck in my nails :p Oooh n one awesome thing should be cleaning ur nails with a pointed thing like a toothpick :p

  10. I love the awesome things put on this site… Except this one. I find doing this to be gross and oily.

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