#728 Interspecies action figure wars

a royal rumble gone badWhen I was a kid and played with He-Man guys or Transformers, there was always a time when the scale of whatever war I was waging grew beyond the number of figures I had from that set. This meant that I had to throw in other guys to pad the numbers to make sure everything was just fine.

He needs backupFor example, He-Man would help The Autobots when Skeletor was bearing down on them with all his henchmen, some bad GI Joe guys, Randy Macho Man Savage, and a lone Captain Planet villain from a random aunt two birthdays ago.

This also worked for tournaments, Battle Royals, and no-holds-barred street races.

Can carry thirty Micro Machines no problemYou knew the races were getting out of hand when a big Tonka dump truck started playing dirty and dumped a half-dozen Micro Machines on the carpet to scramble and run the Batmobile off the road.

Sometimes my sister got in on it, too.

If the Decepticons kidnapped Barbie then Ken would jump on My Little Pony to try and rescue her. And if that didn’t work, she’d be forced to wheel out the big guns.

Yes, I’m talking about the Cabbage Patch Kids.

Now it's really overOh sure, they were just stuffed dolls, but they were also four times the size any of my action figures and had really heavy faces that were strong as steel. Basically, the game was over at that point because she’d capture all my men and just toss them in the Easy-Bake Oven.

And come on, there was something great about those interspecies action figure wars. Think back and remember sliding across the carpet in your overalls, making spitty sound effects, and zooming your head into an imagination world that was so fun, so real, and so



Photos from: here, here, here, here, and here

Illustration from: here

47 thoughts on “#728 Interspecies action figure wars

  1. I always used to love these wars as a child. Where else can Godzilla fend off an onslaught of plastic army men and those little Lego people?

  2. i remember getting smacking in the face with a cabbage patch head one time. you don’t forget a blow like that.

  3. my interspecies wars were more xenophobic in nature than ideological. that is to say, m.a.s.k. and venom would often join forces to battle the temporarily combined might of g.i. joe and cobra. because while they may be mortal enemies, at least they were of the same universe. it was a very “the-enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend” situation.

  4. I used to have “King of the Ring” style wrestling tournaments with all my action figures. I’m fairly sure a ninja turtle always won.

  5. Man, just yesterday I held a huge action figure deathmatch tournament on my lounge room carpet.

  6. I swear every post I’ve been like….been there done that…I can’t believe how many trigger memories from better times where popsicles fixed everything!! Honestly coming here during the week is the highlight of my days.

  7. “…she’d be forced to wheel out the big guns.

    Yes, I’m talking about the Cabbage Patch Kids.”

    Hilarious.. when I read that line, I laughed out loud. This blog is definitely great for a smile. It makes me think of so many awesome things I otherwise would not.

  8. As a kid I never had ninja turtles, but I did have all of the (very excellent) Dick Tracy figurines. They were roughly the same size, so I’d pit my little squad of mutant 1940s criminals against my friend’s turtles. So much fun.

    If it were possible for adults to buy the level of imagination and wonder kids have naturally, they’d pay a fortune for it. It’s priceless and it always goes away.

  9. My best friend Tommy and I used to play Barbie-G.I. Joe wedding. (Think the wedding scene from Kill Bill….) The Barbies would have guns in their bouquets and garters, and Ken would try to stop the wedding with his henchmen….

    And of course, when my friend Tricia and I played Barbies under her grandpa’s camellia tree, her little brother would always bring the dolls in his dump truck…that was Barbie’s wedding limo!

    Thanks for bringing back such great memories!!!!

  10. Sounds like you had to pull an old Consumers Distributing catalogue to write this post. Nice job!

  11. I’m glad I’m not the only one that transported Barbie in a dump truck. But, when you have Barbie and Ken and all their friends and pound puppy pets, they need something bigger than a lame convertible.

  12. ….the Decepticons kidnapped Barbie then Ken would jump on My Little Pony to try and rescue her…. lmfao!!! tooo true…
    But you forgot the plastic ARMY men… those little bastards easily adapted to every situation whether you needed to institute Marshal Law at the Hotwheels Car wash or GI Joe just needed a few more Good Men… or just for all around good ol cannon fodder for the Thundercat Thundertank; and dont forget D&D’s Strongheart ://www.toyarchive.com/Dungeons&Dragons/Figures/Strongheart.html

    needing help to beat down that evil red-eyed

    WarDuke://www.toyarchive.com/Dungeons&Dragons/Figures/Warduke.html .

    …. he was a bad mamma-jamma. “wheres that Bazooka!?!”

  13. Yep! My brother and I always did that with Barbies, G.I. Joes, beanie babies, and lego people.

  14. When I was a kid, I mixed all of my toys to the point where nothing was in a set anymore. I’ve had a matching set of furniture for about two days until it was invaded by a lot of other sets. Whenever I decorated my doll house, it was always something different. During toy wars with my brother, this was extremely handy!

  15. my battles included dinosaurs, barbies, ninja turtles and pokemon, with several of my twin brothers batmans thrown in. And yes, the dump truck usually made an appearance after half time :P

  16. My battles consisted of Barbies, 80’s TMNT action figures, GI Joes, and the occasional Transformer, along with a medley of really random toys.

    Also, a tad off-topic, but…I used to treat my Hot Shot action figure like he was a baby doll. He stayed in my little crib, wrapped in a pink blanket, and did not partake in the wars. Looking back, I feel really bad. Megatron and Jolt probably made fun of him whenever I wasn’t around.

  17. My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were always teaming up with my Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

  18. So here’s the thing:
    I had cut-out dolls from the Sears Catalogue, and “When I was a little girl I had a rag doll!”
    I played in the forest a lot!
    I hope you all appreciate your childhoods as much as I did the entertainmentof your great imaginations!

  19. I remember shelob would almost kill frodo but spidey would swing in! maybe woody from toy story too… but he was just cheap!

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  22. OMG I swear I thought I was the only person in the world that did any of these. This website has alot of personal stuff for me that I don’t tell anyone cuz they’d think I was weird lol

  23. I used to have the GI Joes fight Star Wars stormtroopers and Jurassic Park dinosaurs.

    Firefly always won. He just blew the place up.

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