#721 Drinking anything through the little hole in a coffee stirrer

ready for sippingMy sister and I took skating lessons when we were kids.

For years my parents drove us down to the rusty old arena around the corner on Sunday nights. Cheap coffee, chilled sweat, and change room mold lingered in the air as we laced up our skates between other two-foot tall kids in big swishy snow pants.

They haunt me stillMost of my memories of the place involve hitting the ice head-first, hitting the boards head-first, and getting ice shavings up my mitts. But it was all worth it.

Yes, it was all worth it because I got to enjoy a celebratory chocolate milk at the end of each trip. And since chocolate milk was such big deal to me I did my final laps of the rink just dreaming about the stuff. And sure, I had many dreams on those nights — mostly of well-stocked first aid kits, dry mitts, and space heaters — but nothing was better than that chocolate milk.

Now, nothing made my chocolate milk last longer than drinking it through the tiny hole in a coffee stirrer. Oh sure, maybe it felt a bit unnatural at first, and I admit it’s probably not the greatest move for picking up chicks down at the drive-in or dirtbike tracks, but come on: how good does it feel to suck your cheeks in real hard and vacuum up your drink through that tiny pinhole?

Plus, there’s the Maximum Drinking Time (MDT) factor as well. While my sweaty buddies gulped down their milks in thirty seconds I got to enjoy mine over the next few days — taking it in drop by drop, molecule by molecule, and letting it just soak up and into my mouth every so sweetly.

People, if you’re with me then just suck it up kiddy-style once in a while.

For old time’s sake.


Fond memories

Photos from: here, here, and here

35 thoughts on “#721 Drinking anything through the little hole in a coffee stirrer

  1. See, I was one of the “impatient” kids. Tried this once and ditched the straw. This is still hilarious though.


    Seriously, they make the best chocolate milk EVER!!! I don’t live on Vancouver Island anymore and can’t find it anywhere else. =(

    1. Hey Meg! Just saying Hi from another Vancouver Island transplant! And yes, Island Farms has the BEST chocolate milk ever!

          1. We get Island Farms in the Okanagan and you got that right, their products are delightful.

            *As for MDT, this can also help one stop smoking.

  3. I would get impatient too. But if I were drinking out of those cardboard milk boxes, I would definitely use a straw because those things get soggy.

  4. With the sippy job, you can savor the favor for sure.

    I can remember riding shotgun in a friend’s ride and ordering the java at the drive-thru. I gashed it open and started the first roof-of-the-mouth toasting swallows. And then came the dreaded chug hole / speedbump moment when not only was I scalded mid-sip, but probably ended up with the dreaded coffee stain.

    Drinking through the coffee stirrer definitely has its “percs”.

  5. I have been checking this since #947…and this one has made me the most excited by far. Obviously it has to get better from here as you count down. But seriously this is great!

  6. Hot chocolate with tonnes of marshmellows is best sipped through a coffee stirrer! By the time it reaches your tongue, it isn’t hot like molten lava. The other added bonus, no sticky ‘mellow goo on your lip as you try to sip gingerly. I am thirty*mumbles* and still love to drink cocoa and soda through a coffee stirrer…and my kids do too.

  7. Ah yes! I totally love doing this… and once again props for the Island Farms milk pic! It’s wonderful, just the right amount of chocolatey-ness without all the chalky-ness. Mmmm! I love this website! It’s delicious!

  8. I wonder why there’s a hole in it, though… It seems like it’d be easier to make them without the hole.

  9. oh man this IS awesome! im 21 and i just started doing this about 3 years ago. People think i’m weird, but it’s such a satisfying way to drink your beverage!

  10. I love this too :D also, in a similar way to the tiny straw, I like drinking out of the other side of the plastic lid (with the tiny hole) when you get a hot chocolate from a coffee cart. Screw the huge one on the other side :)

  11. I love this! I hate drinking stuff that’s boiling hot so whenever I order a hot chocolate from somewhere I’d drink out of these straws because I was too impatient to let it cool. It works perfectly too so you get just enough that you won’t get burnt :)

  12. i always do this with really hot hot chocolate so i can sip it easier and it wont burn my tongue :)

  13. OMG I loved this when I was a kid… but now people would just stare at me. :P

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  15. Has anyone else tried drinking stuff through those metre-long tubes sweet tubes? Takes forever but you look like such a bamf.

  16. My friend said that he used to eat noodle soup through a coffee stirrer ….., hhhmmm…… Never ate anything through a straw :)

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