#454 When you manage to get ready super fast when there’s no time to shower

My friend Mike taught me the power of Mustache Maintenance.

Whenever we running late on a Friday night back in college Mike would race up the stairs and shave off his mustache fuzz in ten quick seconds. It took away his dirty upper lip look without taking all the time of a full shave and we’d be on our way to meeting friends at the bar without spending much time getting ready.

Over the years whenever I’ve been running late for school, work, or a social event I’ve pulled off Mustache Maintenance with great results. Because let’s face it: whenever you don’t have much time to get ready it’s always beautiful when you can just sorta fake it:

1. The Old Spice Shower. Sure, the full shower’s great if you can get it, but there’s only five minutes to spruce up it’s time for a few swipes of deodorant, a spray of perfume, and the ol’ sniff test. Feel free to wet your hair a little bit too.

2. The Underwear Refresh. Sometimes you’re a little sweaty down there but there’s no time to pick out a new wardrobe. That’s when you strip it all off, swap the dampness for dryness, and get back to business. Sweaty socks, wet undershirts, everything must go!

3. Ditch the kicks. Cramming your feet in there and tying up shoelaces could slow you down so consider scrapping the shoes and hitting the town in socks only. (Note: Only applies to babies.)

4. The Smooth Strip. If you’re wearing a business suit but don’t have time to iron your entire shirt then just take care of the little front patch that people will see. Make sure to leave your jacket on all day otherwise everyone will call you Ol’ Wrinkly Arms.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with some serious primping and preening before the party. All we’re saying is that when you don’t have time to get clean and groom then it’s fine landing somewhere in between. Just relax knowing you put on a good face even though you didn’t have time to wash it.


Friday’s contest winners are Ellen, Mariah, Sarah, Kirsten, and mocktheweak. Thank you, everyone!

Photos from: here, here, and here

40 thoughts on “#454 When you manage to get ready super fast when there’s no time to shower

  1. Wait, #3 isn’t socially acceptable for adults? I’ve found that that’s been my greatest time-saving tactic!

    I used to be the worst at this, because I’d foolishly think, “Ummm, I probably have time for a shower!” Three minutes to shower and get ready? … No. Showing up once with wet hair and no makeup was all it took to learn my lesson.

    P.S. This is Book 2 material … love it :)

  2. I actually had to do this last Monday, in fact. I had some weird dream that I was late for work…and I opened my eyes to find that I slept through my alarm and saw that I had to be at work in 40 minutes. Got there at 10am exactly! AWESOME!

  3. I know all women know the 3-spot wipedown (pits & nether region), deodorant and underwear change. Wholla!

  4. Amazing…

    #1+ 2 have done on multiple occasions in the past two years when I was on call in the hospital……15 minutes of extra sleep just cannot be exchanged for a shower!!

  5. Hmm…. its hard for me to pull off a no shower cuz my hair turns into a mess so quick..but when I’m pressed for time I wash my hair in the sink, refreshed my makeup (usually just wear eyeliner), and a few sprits of perfume. Good to go! Doesn’t take more than 1 1/2 minutes to wash my hair in the sink. I’ve become a pro.

    1. One of my friends swore that putting a little baby powder in her hair to disguise grease was how she survived a year’s worth of early classes.

      I’ve never done that, but I have washed my hair in the sink (or awkwardly bent over the edge of the bathtub). :)

      1. Yes…I’ve bent over the bathtub too. I prefer the sink though! I’ve never heard of the baby powder thing…..interesting. Kinda makes sense.

        1. when I was stilling living at home with my parents, we used to use the laundry tub. First of all, it’s nice and big for leaning into, and secondly, my dad had attached about 2 feet of old hose onto the end of the spout. Made it SO easy to rinse the back of your head! I still miss that laundry tub!

      2. Yes! Lavender baby powder because it makes you smell nice too. Works best when you brush it in with a boar’s hair bristle brush because it removes any telltale little white clumps of powder.

  6. I am completely incompetent when it comes to awakening when i’m supposed to (6:00 am)…therefore, i pull this awesome thing off once or twice a week on average, which causes ridicule from mi familia of hygiene freaks. I am the master and can be out the door in five minutes, since my hair is incredibly thick and prone to grease, which reminds me: My hair is so thick because my Mom forced a Mushroom Cut upon my head from age 3 to age 8, as a means of thickening my strands. You have to include this gloriously AWESOME thing one day, Neil: Old School Childhood Hair Cuts. Including the Tiny Mullet, Mushroom Cut, Bowl Cut, Fluffy Grown Out Brush Cut, and the Self-Inflicted Mess. Unless you already have…if you have, it escaped me…

    Anyways, i love your nostalgic instances of awesomeness that i thought were only my secret memories and gratifications. Old folks who sit on their porch and wave at you, yellow teeth, using a hospitable person’s various shampoos, taking off your bra, locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away, fat baseball players, hearing a stranger fart in public and basically everything else, including the scientific justification of big bums (mine is large)…

    Thanks for reminding everyone of the little awesomes we forget about…

  7. For under 15s, foundation is also known as “how to look as if you’ve actually spent time doing your make-up”. Hey no one’s saying it makes you look better, but it definitely makes you look dressed up.

  8. I’ve had people call me ol’ wrinkly arms, but that’s just when I fell asleep with my arms dipped in a hot tub and they got all pruny. It was the worst.

    This, of course, it totally real.

  9. Speaking of the Old Spice Shower, wouldn’t it be cool for 1000awesomethings and the Old Spice Guy (both web pheonems in their own right) to meet up? I have a feeling Old Spice Guy’s favourite awesome thing would be admiring himself in the bathroom mirror. :)

  10. This is too true, especially since telling my self it will only be a 5 minute shower never ever ever works.

    Gotta love talcum powder to kill greasy hair

  11. Oh dear – is this only acceptable for men?

    Sadly I read this while in bed this morning so got up unacceptably late and have horribly greasy hair when I didnt have time to wash my it… Bleurgh.

    Staying in bed too long before work always means I go to the gym though to have a shower which is a good thing!

  12. I tend to feel guilty leaving the house after a simple “freshening up”, but it does always astound me when I somehow get ready at the speed of light! Sometimes with spare time to waste!

  13. How about getting ready for a wedding in 15 minutes? And pulling off everything you need to do too! That included a bath because I didn’t have a shower. It does mean wearing your hair up guarenteed, but it is possible!

    ~ Mouse

  14. If only you had the perfect outfit to wear every time and could just grab something from the wardrobe to wear and rush out the door. Instead of staring into the wardrobe for ages just hoping to find an outfit that you know doesn’t exist but just might appear if you keep looking!

  15. Well I take just over an hour each morning to get fully ready for school… yes yes i know, i am very slow. Also, I am not a morning person. Thus I never get time for a shower in the morning, or else I would have to get up at like 6 every morning. That is the reason I shower before I go to bed. Anyone else in this position?

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