75 thoughts on “#322 Atoms

    1. Right? I think it’s even more than that – the analogy I remember hearing is that if you put a soccerball at the center of a giant football stadium, that would represent the size of the nucleus of the atom (protons + neutrons) vs. the size of the atom as a whole.. And that the next atom over would be a whole other football stadium with a single soccerball in the middle..

      *head explodes*

  1. Got to love “the big bang theory”…
    Belly laugh endorphinisms!
    Yes, “Atom” and Eve were great too!
    We are all awesome masses of weird atoms.

  2. Atoms are awesome, but they do not make up everything. They make up matter. There’s also energy, like light, radio waves, microwaves, etc. These are made of photons, which (like atoms) are not actually waves or particles, but weirdly behaving quantum stuff. There’s also dark matter and dark energy, which is made of WHO KNOWS WHAT?!

    (Sorry, I was a physics major :-)

    Oh yeah, there’s also babies — a truly mysterious form of matter which can teach us grown-ups much more than any textbook. For more on this mystery, check out 1000babysteps.com (largely inspired by 1000 Awesome Things!)

    1. Don’t forget that the nucleus of atoms is made up of protons and neutrons, which in turn are made up of up and down quarks. What they are made of we’ll leave to the string theorists…

  3. Anyone know where Laura is?

    She hasn’t posted today or yesterday – I think those would be the first two consecutive posts she didn’t comment on in years..

    Plus, Cary’s back now, so.. you know… ;)

    *scurries away after stirring the pot*

    1. I’m here! I’m back! I went back and made up for lost time.

      I was busy trying to stay alive, going back to work too soon, and getting sick again.

      I HAD H1N1! So swiney. Not recommended.

      1. Ew. Swiney is so less fun than bacony. I hope visiting this blog doesn’t increase my propensity for getting sick. All you people seem to be catching stuff a lot lately. I’m a couple weeks past my 2-year anniversary of not getting sick. Knock on wood.

        1. Yeah, bacony is way more fun than swiney. There’s really no comparison.

          Nah, I think 1000 Awesome Things is a clean zone … but ye shall not enter an elementary school lest ye desire to completely shatter any previous record of good health and well-being.

          1. Yay! Glad you’re back..

            Not so sure if 1000awesomethings.com is actually clean or not.. I mean, you got H1N1.. Bekah got a case of pregnancy.. who knows what else is going around! :)

                1. lol..

                  plus, it can be one of the most expensive things you can contract.. not to mention some people getting afflicted multiple times!

    1. Hahaha!! I love it! ;D

      Though when I very first saw the top part of a video I was kinda thinking it was gonna be a Rickroll…

      1. Well you’re too young to remember it from “General Hospital”, but I posted it anyway. I’ll Rickroll you yet, I’m just biding my time. [evil laugh].

            1. How dare you?! I would never! Ever!

              I totally like being Rickrolled. Don’t judge my guilty pleasure songs! Check the Top 1000, homies, because it’s on the list. ;)

              Guilty pleasure songs, that is. Not being Rickrolled. Though I’m not losing hope just yet … it should, of course, not be ranked as high as Nutella. Nutella is in a league all its own.

              1. What all y’all may not know is that I owe Laura one Rick-rolling, after she did it to me OUTSIDE of this community. That’s right, she internet-stalked me for the specific purpose of Rick-rolling. So I owe her one BIG TIME. And I will get her one of these days. You can count on that.

                1. What!?!? You guys had a non-1000awesomethings.com interaction? And it involved RickRoll’ing? BWAHAHAHAHA!

                  That story is AWESOME!!

                  I didn’t think it was possible but my esteem for Laura just got even higher!

                  jdurley – you totally need to get her back.. like, get Rick Astley to swing by her house on halloween in a costume, and knock on her door and just as she’s about to give him candy, he starts singing “Never gonna give you up!”

                  Or something equally epic..

                  1. YES!!! It must be a rickroll of epic proportions!!! That is fantastic. My love for this place has just increased exponentially.

  4. A hydrogen atom walks into a bar looking depressed and orders a drink.
    “Why so down?” asks the bartender.
    “I’ve lost my electron,” replies the atom, sullenly.
    “Are you sure?”
    “I’m positive.”

    1. Yay! This is my favorite Atom joke!! I’m jealous you posted it first..

      Here’s my second favorite:

      A proton, a neutron and an electron walk into a bar. Each of them orders a drink.
      After the bartender serves them, he walks up to the proton and says: “That’ll be $5”.. and the proton pays him. Then he walks over to the electron and says “That’ll be $5”, and the electron pays him.
      At this point, the bartender starts to walk away, and the neutron says: “Uh.. what about me..” and the bartender looks back and says:
      “For you sir.. no charge!”

      1. That’s also a classic. Allow me to keep the geek-fest going:

        Heisenberg is speeding down the highway when he gets pulled over by a cop. The cop walks over to his car and asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” to which Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

        1. A photon checks into a hotel. The bell hop asks him ” Can I help you with your luggage?”

          The photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light.”

            1. An infinite number of mathmeticians walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have a beer”. The second one says “I’ll have half a beer”, the third one says: “I’ll have a quarter of a beer”, the fourth one starts to speak..

              The bartender interrupts him and says: “I hate you guys..” and pours two beers..

              1. As a chemist, I have thoroughly appreciated this.

                What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium? HeHe

              2. Newton, Einstein, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein is the one counting, so Pascal runs off to go hide. Newton stays right where he is and draws a square around himself in the dirt. Einstein stops counting, turns around and sees Newton. “Ha I found you! That was easy!”

                Newton replies, “No, you found Pascal,” and points to the square in the dirt. “One Newton per meter squared.”

                    1. You’re a standup comedian who dishes out science-related humor for a living?!?! ;) Kidding! And I was totally not making fun … I’m a complete nerd.

                    2. Weird. There was no reply button after your comment so I have to reply to my own. And that would be the BEST JOB EVER! I didn’t mean to sound offended…forgot the “:P” after my post!

                    3. Oh, this was so much fun! Thanks, you guys! That Heisenberg joke reminded me of how awesome it is that the dude from “Breaking Bad” uses Heisenberg as his “street name”. You chemists would love that show.

                    4. Yup – I’m a big Breaking Bad fan.. I love how even after all these years of cooking Meth, Jesse still calls him “Mr. White”. :)

                      One more Heisenberg joke, along the same lines (aren’t they all)..

                      Why did Heisenberg hate driving his car? Because every time he looked at the speedometer he got lost!

                    5. Don’t know what Breaking Bad is, but I’m not letting Freddo get the last Heisenberg joke in.

                      Why was Heisenberg’s wife unhappy?

                      Because when he had the time, he didn’t have the energy and when he had the position he didn’t have the momentum.

                    6. Lara, I seriously recommend “Breaking Bad”. It is fantastic. And now every time you hear them refer to “Heisenberg”, you can giggle to yourself about these jokes.

                    7. It sounds like I’d be entertained by it, but I don’t get that channel :( Although… my DoucheNetwork receiver hasn’t worked properly in months, so maybe I’m supposed to get it but it’s just not working.

                    8. One day, Heisenberg and his wife were about to to go out on a date, but just before they left, Heisenberg’s wife looked in her purse, and looked on the desk, and looked in her jacket pocket and declared: “I think I’ve lost my car keys”

                      Heisenberg: “You probably just know too much about their momentum.

                      Is that even a joke, when I tell it like that?? hmm..

                      I outright plagarized it from here (a favorite geek comic strip of mine – though this particular post happens to be guest authored):
                      http://xkcd.com/824/

                    9. Yay xkcd!!

                      I think my favorite one is when zombie-Feynman defends Mythbusters from all the haters.. mostly because of my mutual love of Feynman and Mythbusters, and my dislike of haters.. :)

  5. Jan. 26 is my Birthday! YAY!!! BTW, that whole atoms thing is sooooooo cool!!!! Extremley full of AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!!! (my fav. word:-P)

  6. im joette. joettias twin, and i extremley disaprove of her usage of the word Awesomeness. it’s supposed to be used as an adjective, not a noun. (that is a noun right? im trying to act smart) BTW, my fav. word is Coolness. this should be The Book of Coolness(good title for a sequal, huh)

  7. Well, yeah, but playing around with them didn’t make Hiroshima very awesome.

    As Einstein said, if the next war is fought with nuclear weapons, the war after that will be fought with bows and arrows.

    Hate to be depressing, though, this is such a positive site ..I love the idea.

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  9. I have spent the past month and a half lesson planning and writing a massive amount of paperwork about teaching 7th graders what atoms are (including explanations of the explicit connections I intend to make between state standards, common core literacy shifts and my own personal theoretical framework and pedagogy in truly nauseating detail) for my masters degree and implementation in my student teaching.

    … and you have expressed this far better than I ever could have. Thanks for the much needed smile. :)

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