#217 Actually squeezing out the right amount of sunblock

What’s that on your arm?

Wait, let me guess — is it a giant smear of white sunblock gooing up your arm hairs? Brother, I been there too. And I guarantee my arms are more gorilla than you, so whenever I’m thick-blobbing it on the back deck before the barbecue it feels like I’m petting a dog with paint. Soon I’ll be helplessly wagging my drippy hands in your face asking if I can please wipe my sunblock overdose all over you.

Of course, when I’m not overdoing it I usually have the opposite issue — squeezing out barely enough to cover a shin and two palms. Then I’m the guy getting the bottle all greasy with my slippery paws as I try to frantically fart-squeeze more out of the container to cover up.

Yes, that’s what makes it great when I actually squeeze out the right amount of sunblock. No double-dipping, no double-dripping — just enough of the cool n’ creamy to cover myself up in style.

Cover your skin for the summertime win.


Photos from: here and here

38 thoughts on “#217 Actually squeezing out the right amount of sunblock


    I had to comment because I saw the top picture in my reader, read the name of awesome thing #217, and snorted so hard my throat still hurts.

    1. Yes! Me too! Do you ever do the tap technique? Which involves taking the lid off the top and tapping it on your hand or on a surface…and waiting 2 hours for it to finnnnnnnnaaallly drip out! Yes, I propose a full bottle of anything is also awesome!

  2. Ohhh true story, true story. Thank god for spray sunscreen. Even then, I’ll sometimes end up with an abundance … but luckily it’s not as awkward or outwardly unappealing as the thick white grease paint of traditional sunblock.

    Also … as disturbing as that first picture is, I had to laugh … “sunblock fail” … hahahaha! Most definitely.

    1. I haven’t tried spray sunscreen. I have heard that its much easier and faster, but it just seems to me that you’ll run out of it faster than the lotion kind.

      1. That’s definitely true — it runs out MUCH more quickly than the lotion kind. And you’re more likely to lose some because if it’s at all windy, half of it blows away as you spray it. But I still love it :)

        1. I recently switched to spray sunscreen as well (SO true about the risk of it blowing away in the wind!), and have become a big fan.

          However, I didn’t have it with me on a recent trip so was using the regular cream kind and had a realization that I hadn’t expected this late in life. Apparently, I use a “non-traditional” method for applying sunblock to my face, and I never realized it until this year.

          Here’s the method I’ve always used, which I realized I adopted from my dad.

          Step 1: Apply generous amount of sunblock to left palm.
          Step 2: Smack palms together and get a good rubbing motion going between them. At this point, hands should be COVERED in sunblock.
          Step 3: Smack hands against face, and rub vigorously all over face, neck, ears, top of head (if you’re “hair impaired” like me)

          Done! It wasn’t until I watched some friends applying sunscreen that it occured to me that other people do a “dabbing motion”, where they get some sunblock on a few fingers, and apply separately to cheek, nose, forehead, etc., and that the entire face isn’t simultaneously covered in a very frantic 3-4 seconds. Who knew??

          The risk is that you can definitely end up looking a bit like the guy in the photo, or like poor JT in the comments below!

          1. HAHAHA
            I use that method on the baby. I put some in my palm, rub my hands together and then smear it all over him, being extra careful around the eyes (cuz I did get some in his eyes the first time I did it, poor baby). I get from the top of his head all the way to the tips of his toes. I even use that method during bath time with him. It is super fast.
            However…. I use the dab method on myself and on my daughters face-and when she has on an awkward bathing suit that criss crosses in the back or something. I smother the rest of her in sunscreen, though.

          2. I use this smear method as well. In fact, I do this all over my body as I usually put on the sunscreen before even putting on my bathing suit so I smear it all over. When the furry guy next to you uses too much sunscreen and wants to smear it on you, just say NO! My ex husband was hairier than the gorilla pic and when he had too much sunscreen and smeared the excess on me, invariably it was full of body hairs…that made me the hairy woman…ewwwww! Nothing like someone else’s body hairs smeared all over your body in white cream. I just gave myself ooogie shivers, yuck!

  3. Oh, the old *less is more* trick;)
    Dream sweetly awesome people of awesome land!
    “Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da…”

  4. Woah, way to overdo it, man-in-photo!

    And apparently Neil is kinder than me. I don’t ask if I can rub my sunscreen-overdose onto someone’s arm…

    …I just do it, then run away laughing maniacally.

  5. I now know what the #1 awesome thing is going to be…frantic fart-squeezes. That one little phrase made me laugh harder than I have in a really long time, thank you Neil.

    1. Yeah, it’s not just the list of awesome, but those magical turns of phrase that I love. So hysterical!

  6. That picture….AH! Is that his buttcrack?!!! Ew, anyways…even if he does have a sunblock overdose, way disgusting pic.

  7. I buy the sunscreen for my daughter that is blue at first, but disappears after you rub it in. Well… if its not rubbed in enough, or if you have too much, she is blue. I’ll pick her up from summer day camp and wonder what she’s been painting because her arms and hands are blue, then she tells me its her sunscreen.
    I’ve never tried the spray kind. I worry that I’ll run out way faster with the spray kind. I’d rather her be blue from extra sunscreen than red from lack of.

    1. “When wuz the last time YOU lost YOUR kid?
      Smart mom’s like Bekah, author of ‘2000 THINGS,’ use the blue, cuz blue kids are far easier to spot at the beach!”=)

  8. “I try to frantically fart-squeeze ” – LOLZ! Jebus, I almost whale-spouted my coffee all over my monitor, thanks so much for a great start to another day shackled to the cubicle.

  9. I just googled and learned Discovery channel is looking for people to write their own version of, “Boom De Ah Da ~The world is Awesome”… What do you all say awesome followers- singers, writers, videographers, who’s down to rise-up and create a spectacular collaberation to commemorate Awesome=D

    *Oh and PLEASE help with Alexa’sbus.com

      1. Oh that is fantastic and pretty much sums it up for awesome land too!
        I believe lovethebadguy (deniedheisreallyfrankabagnale), said he too likes that site…
        and I have to agree, it’s pretty creative and cool.
        Thank you for playing, Jenn- You did Awesome=)

  10. I have ginger hair, and my mom is notorious for putting to much sunscreen on my back she always says it will soak in, its better to have a lot than not enough, terrified of my skin burning in the sun I suppose lol.

    1. I’m a redhead too (not to mention my unfortunate English complexion) and as far as I’m concerned there’s no such thing as too much sunscreen. I’ve probably looked like the guy in the picture before, although not quite as bad, I hope. I was notorious for obsessively applying SPF 45 susnscreen last year at work (and I finished the summer as white as I started so it worked). I’m working at a summer camp this year so I get to be a sunscreen maniac again.

  11. Once when I was little girl at the beach with my family, my dad told me to put sunblock on before running into the water. But he did NOT tell me that I had put too much on my face so I ran into the water with my face looking like the guy in the photo’s back. Everyone thought it was pretty funny and there I was, a confused lil girl wondering why a bunch of people were laughing at her. Traumatized. =( When someone told me what was so funny I stood off to the side in the water frantically rubbing my face until the embarrassment wore off..and until my brother came over to cheer me up.

    Now I can laugh at this but I still won’t apply sunblock without a mirror. =p

    1. JT~”Mirror, mirror on the wall, brother’s like yours are the TIR/awesomest of all”=)

  12. Since you always go to beach with others, if I think I put too much sunscreen in my hands, I’ll just split half with a friend, or offer to do someone’s back first! So I’ve never had the problem the picture guy had!

    No excess sunscreen for me nope nope!

  13. Hey where did you get that fantastic shot of my awesome back, guess what I never burnt that day, but the next day …………….. Wallybenn7

  14. Dear Awesome people , OH CRAP!!!!! I didnt my wifes name would come up…..Yep this is her husband wallybenn7 errrr not her 7th husband either , I think Ill stop now Bye
    What an awesome first try at this a.

    1. Hi Wendy’s husband Wallybenn7!

      Nice of you to join in! You should register an account of your own (who knows what color avatar square you’ll get! – hopefully not poop-brown like mine!) and join in all the fun.

  15. thats why they invented spray on sunscreen. although when i was little my mom only bought the cramy one… never like it..never will :)

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