#119 Watching butter melt on hot toast

When I drop a hard chunk of butter onto a slice of hot toast I like to pretend I’m an adventure guide helping a pack of rich tourists through some rough jungle terrain when we suddenly stumble upon some dangerous quicksand in our path. “Stay back,” I caution, squinting my eyebrow and holding my arm firmly to my side, causing the portly Hawaiian-shirt-and-binocular covered tourists to stop and stumble into each other.

“Shhhhh … watch this,” I whisper to them, my eyes popping wide as I fumble frantically in my backpack. They stare breathlessly in their brand new Tilley hats and hiking boots as I peel out a giant hunk of butter and toss it straight ahead of us. Toucans squawk overhead and snakes rattle in the bushes as we hold our breaths and watch the butter slowly melt into the unforgiving sea of brown. “Just what I thought,” I say to them.

“We’re toast.”

Seriously, that’s what watching butter melt on hot toast feels like to me. It’s mesmerizing seeing that white fatty block that came from a cow dissolve into invisible liquid and soak deeply into the crispy crust of hot bread. Next it’s time to scratch the butter in further with a knife … smear sticky sweet jam all over it … and then chomp right in.


The Book of (Holiday Awesome) comes out next week! This is the first awesome book to include color (woo-hoo!) and features holiday classics from the blog as well as around 40% new content. Join us for the book launch on November 14th at Indigo Manulife Centre in Toronto and pre-order from Indigo, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble.

Photos from: here

36 thoughts on “#119 Watching butter melt on hot toast

  1. I really hope the blog’s final #1 entry is something completely arbitrary like this instead of the predictable “love” or “life” or whatever. It would be a brilliant troll.

  2. Well I know what I’ll be having for breakfast today (and the new, awesome mental image that will now accompany my toast-eating experiences)!

  3. I use to not put butter on my toast. I was more of a jelly kind of person, until my daughter became obsessed with butter. Its nice to have the butter glide on the toast and melt right before your eyes in just seconds.

  4. I have a century old wood crate for kindling, reads: “It’s always better with butter”. In the kitchen, a plack of a man & woman leaning over a black cauldron for a kiss, reads: “Food should be cooked with lots of love and lots of butter!” I am very Ukranian when it comes to my butter!
    *And you painted a masterpiece theatre for my love to “Take a walk on the wild side”, …”In the jungle, the mighty jungle”, “WE’RE TOAST!”…Fantastic!

      1. Awe-mazing!
        Thank goodness you posted this and not some of the other buttery stuff I discovered on the inet!
        Absolutely Incredible!
        Have bread, will travel:)

    1. I use to hear this song on the radio every morning. It started when I was in high school and I believe I heard it all the way to last year, but I haven’t heard it since. They use to play it every day on just about every radio station. There were different versions every station played. The station with the Bob and Tom show played this song. Another station played the song that says near the end, “In Chicago…or whever the heck I am…YEAH TOAST!”
      Great song. I do belive I’m going to have to call in a make a request to my favorite radio station now….

    2. This song is the first thing I thought of when reading Neil’s post. Love me some Heywood Banks’ Toast Song! Bob & Tom frequently play it. Here’s a link to Heywood playing it live. He’s hilarious!

  5. I automatically jumped to those balls of butter on pancakes at breakfast restaurants. The butter practically burns a hole in your pancake and you think, that’s so gross, that’s way too much butter. But you don’t wipe it away. You just spread it around and eat it and it is delicious.

  6. When I was in primary school, when I came home at 3.10 Mum would sometimes make me warm vanilla milk and a plate of raisin toast. Yes… Raisin Bread with melted butter.. Omigod I’m craving some now! Oooh the memories… And it would be boiled egg (I used to call googie egg) on Saturday mornin’s with toast.Yum.

  7. OK, unrelated to today’s popular toast post, last week I was watching Oprah’s Life Class webcast on Facebook. Since the topic was Joy, I made sure to post the link to this blog about so much AWESOME JOY! Hope some other people catch it!

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