#102 Finally getting that guy who never dances to dance

I feel sorry for the DJ.

Sometimes he’s earphone-grooving on the mini-stage and nobody’s stepping out onto the disco-ball spinning floor. Thumping jams, booming beats, I feel like he might start screaming “What will it take, people!?” Dinner chatter still happening, drinks still finishing, nobody’s brave enough to make the first move.

But then eventually the tidal wave pours onto the floor and slow-dancing couples, sweaty seniors, and spinning strangers start filling up the square with hip-shakes and crazy arms. When we’re all on the sidelines there’s the fear of looking stupid, but when we’re all in the middle it’s time to chase down the stragglers and get the whole joint jumping.

That guy who never dances is usually found sipping drinks at the bar, leaning on a backwards dining chair, or smoking outside. He’s avoiding you, he’s avoiding us, because he just doesn’t like dancing. No rhythm, no moves, no desire, no grooves.

But it’s time to get over that, no dancing guy. We’re ready to grab your arms, yank your feet, and push you from behind, because we know once you fade into the screaming mess you’ll fit right into our big dancing moment of


Photo from: here

41 thoughts on “#102 Finally getting that guy who never dances to dance

  1. I AM that guy who never dances. “No rhythm, no moves, no desire, no grooves.” is a pretty succinct summary. However, I refuse to allow people this feeling of awesome. I’ve had many people grab my arms and push me from behind, but rather than dancing, I go limp. Utterly limp. ;)

    Win for me, the non-dancing girl.

    (And now I miss my mate Ray, who was my “non-dancin’-buddy” at parties. He and I would sit happily in the corner, hiding from the drunk dancers. Good times.)

  2. Story time: I went out with my regular crew a few months ago and one of my friends invited his work friend. He wouldn’t dance. At all. Which is really weird bc all of my friends dance to hip-hop all night until we’re a sweaty mess. By the 3rd bar i finally yanked him onto the dance floor and made him dance with me. I had to hold onto his shirt to keep him from running back to the wall….Guess what? He’s called me everyday since then and we’re dating!

    Girls, make them dance!

      1. I used to be that guy who did not like to dance. Now i want to dance all the time and my wife doesn’t want to. Im sad.

    1. Seriously, do not force me to dance. I will probably freak out if you throw me into a crowd of loud, screaming people when I’d rather be at peace.

      I’ve known some people to get violently angry at that, it is *not* a good idea to disrespect someone’s personal space.

  3. I can’t dance, but I still get out there and wiggle a bit. I don’t really like to dance, but I’m not a party pooper. I like to dance with my kids and try to force my husband to dance.
    My husband will not dance to save his life. We didnt’ even have any music or dancing at our wedding because he didn’t want to have to dance. I can’t even get him to sway with me in the privacy of our own home.

  4. This sucks. I AM that guy, and I have a wedding to go to this Saturday, and I’ve already been sent this link by four of my friends this morning telling me that it’s totally happening this weekend. GREAT TIMING GUYS! :s

  5. Oh god, I hate it if someone forces me to dance. Please people, leave the non-dancing guys and girls alone, we don’t feel awesome on the dance floor at all, just really uncomfortable.

  6. I’m a non-dancer also, and I hate when people try to force me. What I do is make them promise to do something they’re uncomfortable with that I like to do (for example, depending on the person: ride a roller coaster, go bungee-jumping, eat a meal of sashimi, whatever). Usually they won’t do it, so I wonder what’s the difference.

  7. Then, there is waiting 18 years to get your husband to dance with you. No kidding. We didn’t have the big wedding, so no dance there. Weddings, parties, etc over the years where they had a dance floor set up. No dance. Not even an entire song of dance in our own living room. Not until his sister’s wedding last year did I get that dance from him. It was nice, and romantic, but 18 years? Hopefully I won’t have to wait 18 years for the next one!

  8. I don’t like to dance, and I hate it when people drag me out onto the dance floor. I’ll dance to the slow songs with my date (or anyone else who cares to dance with me), but don’t force me to do something against my will! That’s just rude, and rudeness is Not Awesome.

    1. I Have Never Slow Danced With A Girl Before EVER Every Time I Have Asked A Girl To Slow Dance With Me She Shoots Me Down Go Ahead And Laugh Every Body Else Has I’am Use To Being Shot Down By Girls I Will Never Get To Know What It Feels Like To Slow Dance With A Girl I Never Went To My Senior Prom In High School Oh Well Anyway Time For Me To Go To The Store And Buy A Bunch Of Junk Food And Soda Pop Because Now I’am Depressed

  9. I have an uncle who is “that guy.” He will only dance when well-lubricated and to Metallica – one song, and that’s that. The only thing to top it is a well-aimed camera, for the rest of us to remember the moment.

    For the record, no one forces it – we just know how long to wait and whih song to request ;)

  10. I was that guy at my best friend’s wedding. At most weddings, in fact. Never much cared for the pop/dance/whatever music the DJs played.

    Then my friend’s DJ put on lots of swing music. And it was awesome!

  11. Once upon a time last summer, I was at a week long summer camp and they set up a club for dancing one night and there was like nobody there. So I was sitting near the door and I’m like about to leave and two friends grab my arms and quite literally drag me out to the middle of the dance floor. Yeah, I looked clumsy and stupid and my laser vision was in super strong mode. Apparently that was pretty funny to them. But it was actually okay. Until this guy I liked wouldn’t dance with us. Why did he have immunity? Where were those incredibly annoying people to drag him over? And why were they so maddeningly unhelpful? But it is something to learn from. Next time I’ll just pay them to either let me be or to capture other poor souls I want to dance with ;D

  12. So this weekend my friends are going to all get together and cut each other! I mean with KNIVES! It will be an awesome MUTUAL MUTILATION party! Blood everywhere, people occasionally passing out… sheer awesomeness.

    But I’m sure there will be this ONE GUY who’s just not into all the blood letting. He’ll be standing in the corner like an anti-social loser. What’s his problem? He should totally get with the program, right?

    Well there will be none of that this weekend, Mr. Party Pooper – we’re ready to grab your arms, yank your feet, and push you from behind, because we know once you give into cold surgical steel slicing into your flesh you’ll fit right into our big sadistic violent orgy of


    1. LOL. We are most definitely on the same page. I just don’t know why these social rejects refuse to join in on my heroin parties. I have all the black tar heroin a junky could ask for, 10 000 used needles, and there they are; standing against the wall like outcasts. I just don’t get why they wouldn’t hop into our unprotected needle orgy and let loose a little. They would realize that they could have the time of their life if they just caved and did it. I mean, they might feel a little uncomfortable with the idea, but that passes and you just sort of fall into your own groove. Damn stiffs.

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