#959 Gameplanning for snoozes

Hopefully you don't normally set the alarm for midnight

If you’re like me, then a war is waged every morning near your alarm clock. It is a neverending series of epic clashes between The Awake You and The Sleeping You, with each side sticking to its guns, fighting fiercely in the ultimate battle for the first half hour of your day.

Sometimes it seems like if it were up to our subconscious selves, a lot of us would be lazing around in a world of rumpled sheets and dreams all day. You know how it is — maybe at night you’re a level-headed gal with a level-headed plan. “I’ll go for a quick jog tomorrow before work,” you say to yourself. “Maybe whip up some oatmeal afterwards.” But your groggy, bedheaded self just ruins everything the next day. “Let’s keep sleeping,” she convincingly suggests when the alarm goes off, hitting the snooze button on your behalf. “See you in nine!”

I don’t know about you, but for me until recently I’ve been trying to deceive the sleeping me with the only two weapons I’ve got: 1) moving the alarm clock to other side of the room in order to give my waking self time to figure out what’s happening, and 2) setting the time further and further ahead to try and trick my heavy-eyelided other half into believing they’re gonna make me really late.

But after years of playing the same game, it eventually happened. I hit a breaking point. I just couldn’t do it anymore. So now my new gig is trying to keep everybody happy. That’s right, keep snoozing in the picture and hold down a job at the same time. Folks, I’m talking about planning for snoozes. Adding them to the list. Budgeting them right in there. Finally giving them the credibility they’ve so long aspired to and letting them become an official Part Of The Day.

So now I say hey, if you absolutely must get out of bed by 8am, that’s fine. Just set the alarm clock for 7:30 first. Throw your sleeping self a bone and hook them up with three solid snoozes. And you know what, you win too! Those nine extra minutes sometimes feel like an hour, complete with vivid dreams and fresh drool on the pillow to show for it. You wake up refreshed, happy, and smiling. And the best part comes later in the day, whenever somebody asks how you slept — because you know what to tell them:


Instant heaven

Photos from: here and here