Now you’re walking around with bloodshot eyes and a gumball headache as you pack Princess costumes into boxes, peel decorations off the door, and get ready for the important business of sorting through your loot.
Now it’s time to focus. FOCUS. Work through that Halloween hangover and steady your nerves because it’s time to strike some big deals. Maybe a candy currency system even emerges amongst all your siblings and friends:
Large size chocolate bar: 20 points
Fun size chips or Doritos: 10 points
Popcorn ball: 6 points
Reese Peanut Butter Cup: 5 points (especially valuable if special Halloween version)
All other mini candy bars: 4 points
Little pack of fuzzy peaches or sour gummies: 4 points
Cake items such as Twinkies: 3 points
Two-pack of rock hard gum: 2 points
Licorice: 2 points
Lollipops: 2 points (Note: Possible points premium for large sizes or rare rainbow-colored lollipops.)
Lollipops with chewy stuff in the middle: Either 1 point or -2 points depending on whether you have braces
Caramels in clear plastic wrap that are overly sticky and have no name on it and taste like burnt sugar: 1 point
Tootsie Rolls: 1 point
Lemon flavoured anything: 0 points.
Pen from guy who sells real estate: 0 points
Anything healthy including raisins or apples: 0 points
Weird chewy generic halloween candy: -1 point.
So pour out your pillowcase and get ready for some high stakes deals on the basement floor. Don’t forget to keep your personal favorites a secret or you’ll pay a fool’s ransom. (If you sacrifice three bags of chips for a Twinkie, you’ve been had.) Lastly, know who you’re up against — does anyone have nut allergies or unhealthy addictions to lime flavoring?
Bottom line: Get in there and get deal-making. Get in there and get teeth-breaking. Get in there and get
— Follow me on Instagram —