You cracked the case.
Seriously, when you pop open that textbook, flip open the yellow pages, or split the spine of that beach novel right to the spot you’re looking for it’s a beautiful moment.
Suddenly you transform into a gloomy trenchcoat-wearing detective who solves the case just by glancing at the crime scene. Yes, the street’s been taped off, someone’s crying under a blanket on the curb, and the city police are filling out witness statements on their notepads.
That’s when you peel up in a navy blue squad card, calmly light up a cigarette, and then stare at the surrounding buildings for a few minutes with furrowed eyebrows.
Then you calmly walk back to your cruiser, smile softly, and roll your window down at the local police before screaming away down the wet roads.
“Page 127.”
AWESOME!
Pre-order The Book of Awesome
the smell of your best friend’s laundry detergent.
Snow Days.
Every kid wishes and hopes for them all winter long. They’re pretty much the only thing that make all of the blizzards worthwhile. Even now that I’m in college, I still hope for them. This past winter, my school had its first snow day in about 2 years, and I felt like I was 8 years old again. Sleeping late, bundling up until you can hardly move, making snow forts and sledding and having snow ball fights until you can’t feel any of your toes or fingers, and of course, hot cocoa inside once it’s all over… that’s what snow days are all about.
It’s awesome to watch an infomercial. By the end, you’re almost certainly convinced that you need either/or: a set of knives that cut through coins; a waxing kit made of aloe and sugar and other stuff that actually makes it edible; a little all-in-one cooking apparatus that grills, bakes, and makes quesadillas and omelets; a blender/food processor that’s just three pulses away from a perfect smoothie; or, heaven forbid, a blanket with sleeves.
:)
Those blanket with sleeves make me laugh. Do you remember when robes were the big style? Still have yours? Great! Turn it around, put it on, and save $20!
No kidding! I always have thought that, too ;) Although … I’d have to go out and buy my own “complementary” book light if I just used my bathrobe! Hehe.
I will not have you and Jay insulting the Snuggie/Slanket. I got my wife a Snuggie last year, and it might just be her favorite gift that I’ve ever gotten her. However, I’ve recently noticed that it has a few Nutella stains on it (my sister would be proud). I think this occured during her marathon Twilight reading sessions, where she was just wrapped in her Snuggie, sustaining herself on Nutella and Edward Cullen’s dreaminess.
In all fairness, I have never used a Snuggie and have, actually, heard that people like them. The commercials are just SO RIDICULOUS! They look like that’s the happiest they’ve ever been, raising the roof and high fiving in their Snuggies. Hahaha. :D
P.S. Nutella freakin’ rocks. IT is awesome!
I’m wearing my wife’s Nutella covered snuggie as I type this.
She has gotten so obsessed with it recently that she’s been talking about wearing it to WORK!?! Can someone please help me talk her off the ledge?
Just to be clear (in case someone thinks my wife works from home, or in a snuggie factory, where this might sort of be appropriate), my wife is a physician. Would you listen to your doctor if she was wearing a snuggie?
Gah!!
Oh wow. I wish I had a doctor who was cool enough to even consider wearing a Snuggie to work. Oops, I mean, NO, Freddo’s wife, don’t do it!
They had a Snuggie pub-crawl in my town a couple months ago. Seriously?! I’ll bet your wife would have LOVED it though!
http://www.ky3.com/home/video/83196437.html
Well, she’s a pediatrician if that makes it any better. But she’s about 5’0″, so she sort of looks like a really minitaure wizard when she wears it.
Also, why did the girl at the beginning of that news cast look like she was 8 years old? She was on a pub crawl?
Unfortunately I was not in attendance at the Snuggie Pub Crawl, as I do not own a Snuggie. :( But you’re right. She did look like a child.
Speaking of children, I think kids would totally get a kick out of a doc in a Snuggie … parents might not be sold on the concept, but ya know …
I feel like a snuggie in a hospital would become one giant germ repository. Once she brings that thing to work, it is NOT coming back into the house.
Plus, its a San Diego Chargers themed snuggie, so then she couldn’t wear her Swine Flu infested snuggie to football games anymore.
Rick Mercer did a hilarious “fake commercial” spoofing this. He called it the “Skritchy”. I’m too lazy to find the link to it, but it was hilarious.
I watched the same infomercial for over a year and finally (presumably becuase he was tired of watching it) my BF bought it for me. And the most AWESOME part is the my BF loves it and uses it more than I do!
Cleaning your plate. And by that I mean licking it clean. I used to do this all the time when I was younger; and if it was socially acceptable, I’d still do it now in college. haha
When someone brushes and/or plays with your hair.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a little kid giving you a “new style” or a friend doing it just so you can have a mini spa feeling; it’s always awesome!
When someone scratches your back. Either because you can’t quite reach that one spot, or because it’s just really relaxing…
Awesome!
It’s really awesome when it’s your turn in a compromise.
He watched the game yesterday, today is your turn to indulge in your favorite sitcom.
You listened to oldies all the way to work, so on the ride home he gets to switch over to NPR.
He picked last date’s movie, and this time you choose.
It’s always awesome for it to be your turn, but it’s even more awesome to appreciate and respect the teamwork involved in compromise.
Tearing perforated things!
I LOVE doing this!
– a piece of notebook paper out of a notebook, extra points if you do it perfectly without ripping it!
– the bottom part (that has the price on it) of that cardboard tag on your new clothes
– the cardboard pieces in a new board game you just opened, waiting to be freed and detatched from their prison!
When someone remembers you that you wouldn’t expect.
This is an instant mini ego boost. Like when someone says hi to you in the hallway who you had only met once or maybe twice but they remember your name and are polite enough to say, “Hey, so-and-so! How’s it going?” Instantly brightens my day! :)
doing homework for a class in that class and finishing right before the teacher collects it.
Haha! Such an adrenaline rush!
Really, REALLY soft things.
I’m pretty sure that I’m a tactile person.
Anytime I walk by blankets, fuzzy socks, or stuffed animals for babies, I just have to reach out and feel them. It’s just one of the best feelings in the world! Who DOESN’T enjoy feeling that plush fabric? haha
pretty sure ive done this my entire life.. & love it!
I do this. Whenever I’m out shopping with my bff, we are always on the lookout for soft things and we make sure the other one gets to feel it.
Emptying a full hole puncher.
I don’t think I’ve actually gotten to this point, because I keep saving up punched holes… but I know that when the time comes it will be completely AWESOME to see that snowstorm of multicolored paper go plummeting into the garbage can. :)
Finally remembering that word you couldn’t for the life of you figure out earlier!
Usually this happens when you aren’t even around the person you were talking to at the time, but just knowing you have that closure is awesome!
shampoo mohawks. And cheesy fake names.
Shampoo mohawks makes me think of bubble beards! Also awesome.
Spending all day at a public pool as a kid. The smell of sunscreen and chlorine. Cannonballs off the high dive. Eating potato chips that get all soggy when you stick your wet hand in the bag. Snow cones from the concession stand. Being exhausted when you leave then walking into your house that is freezing because of the air conditioning. The only not awesome thing…that 10 minute break at the end of every hour when only adults could swim.
Thinking you forgot something important and then remembering that you remembered!
Whew!
#70 – A purring cat
People are hard to read. We can look happy when we’re angry, or mask our sadness with lashing out. Not so with our furry feline friends: if you get that snuggle-and-petting ratio just right, they purr like well-tuned motors. A happy cat is an obvious affirmation that you have improved another being’s existence, and that sort of support is not easy to come by in this world of confusion.
Plus, they’re just so cute.
AWESOME!
#142 – Pogs, and other awesome fads of the 90s.
Remember slammers? And Beanie Babies? Pokemon, Pop Rocks, Tomogatchis (or other digital pets), Tickle Me Elmo, chat rooms, Trapper Keepers, grunge music? Flash-in-the-pan entertainment that made for a solid few months of crazy fun.
Maybe they didn’t last long, but while they did:
AWESOME!
Hey now, Internet Relay Chat is as popular as it’s ever be-…oh, maybe not.
#223 – Cocoa mulch
My mom has a garden on the side of her house, and every spring she covers her plants with bags of cocoa bean mulch: the shells from dried cocoa beans serve as fertilizer, albeit a much sweeter-smelling one than usual.
Those early spring months, any breeze from the backyard carries a scent similar to that of freshly-baked brownies. Who knew that gardens could smell good enough to eat?
AWESOME!
WHAT??!! Is this for real? It’s like one step closer to living in the land of chocolate. (cue image of Homer Simpson taking a bite out of chocolate cat)
Yeah, it’s for real!! It smells so tasty…Homer would TOTALLY try to eat my mom’s garden. :)
#248 – Tingly shampoos
Showering feels good. Just that feeling of washing the grease and grime out of your hair and off your body does wonders for your overall sense of well-being. The only thing that can kick your ShowerTime™ up that extra notch from Soothing to SuperClean is the feeling of tingly shampoo or body wash. That cool peppermint feel on your scalp or on your skin adds the extra sensation of total
AWESOME!
#256 – Wishing before blowing an eyelash
“Hold still.”
Your friend leans in close to your face and swipes a finger delicately across your cheek. You’re worried that she might be going in for the Eyelash Retrieval (#920: Getting the eyelash out of your eye), which is probably more of a do-it-yourself procedure. But no: she pulls away with the tiny curved hair resting gently on her fingertip.
She offers it to you. “Make a wish.”
A silent reflection, a small puff of air, and the little crescent moon hair flutters away to that Great Eye in the Sky to help make your wish come true.
Because any chance to make a wish is
AWESOME!
I love it when I’m in the shower and I close my eyes, relax and let the water run down my face. Awesome !
#268 – Being friends with your siblings
You can’t pinpoint exactly when it happens: maybe when the older brother leaves for college, or you realize it’s actually kind of flattering when your sister raids your closet. The shift is subtle, but undeniable. You realize one day that you miss your sister or that you want your brother’s opinion on how to handle a situation. From fighting over toys and pulling out each other’s hair, you have matured to an age of mutual respect and enjoyment. It may not always be a perfect relationship, but siblings are the friends that we didn’t choose and love dearly anyway.
That makes everything – life, holidays, and family reunions – that much more
AWESOME!
Mandy, this is so true. Sibs can be the best support network in the world. It’s awesome during the happy times, and even more important during the sad times. Growing up you might be willing to trade them to a stranger for candy, but now I wouldn’t trade them for the world!
This is such a great awesome thing.
This is just starting to happen with my sister and I, and I think we’re going to get along much better now.
Thanks for sharing :)
As the second of four, I completely agree with this one.
#285 – Making the farty noise with a full balloon
We’ve all done it: While blowing up balloons for a party, you “accidentally” let one go, to watch it splutter and weave its way crazily around the room. Someone will inevitably follow this up with the more carefully controlled version of the same: pinching the opening between two fingers, he squeezes it apart to allow just enough air through to make the higher-pitched Balloon Fart.
Use sparingly, as this can get annoying quickly. But I don’t care how old you get: the first few times are
AWESOME!
#309 – When your friends approve of your significant other
It’s a delicate balance: you’re introducing your new gent or lady to everyone. You have told him or her stories upon stories about these people – the crazy stuff you did in college or the wonderful experiences you had when you traveled together. They, in turn, are meeting The One With Whom They Are Now Competing For Your Time. As your friends, they are naturally inclined to approve of anyone with the good sense to date you. Nevertheless, it is a great feeling when one of your pals pulls you aside at some point in the evening and says, “[Insert Sig. Other’s name here] is FANTASTIC. I can tell you guys really like each other and are really good for each other. Congrats on a great find!”
Breathe a sigh of relief; your boy or girl has passed The Test and has been accepted into your group of friends.
AWESOME!
#324 – Fog so heavy it feels like you’re in a cloud
Sometimes it can feel like you’re driving through pea soup, but there’s something so romantic and secluded about the surrounding fog. Rings encircle streetlights, and you feel as though you’ll hear the theme for the Twilight Zone any minute. You are lost in a ground-cloud; even the most familiar of locations becomes a new adventure. As you swim your way through the thick air, buildings and people appear just feet in front of you.
Walkin’ in a foggy wonderland is
AWESOME!
#342 – When rain makes the roads look like mirrors
Very similar to a lot of the other road / rain entries, but this is one of my favorite things about driving on rainy streets, especially at night: every pair of headlights that comes toward you is magically doubled in the rain-slick pavement. Reflections of streetlights float on the ground before you, like lights in an underwater city. Everything is aglow, awash with
AWESOME!
licking the top of the yogurt lid before you tear it off the cup
Melissa I have 2 words for you: pudding. cup.
#358 – When someone quotes you
We are not all gifted linguists, but we do all have our moments. You might have made a glib comment about a mutual acquaintance, or pulled a particularly amusing Spoonerism, but your words are mused about or laughed about, written down, and repeated in other conversations. You contributed something notable and long-lasting. Your words are worth remembering. You are
AWESOME!
I love this! Also when you do something marginally funny and someone finds it the most hilarious thing ever.
I was in a funny situation with a rude customer at work once and one of my coworkers still retells the story 2 years later. I didn’t even find what I said that funny at the time, but when she retells it, it is hilarious.
#373 – Seeing your friend perform, and being able to say “I know him/her!”
You might be sitting in a chair at an orchestra concert, perched on a seat at a comedy club, or rocking out in the front row at a concert. When the people around you remark on how wonderful this comedian/band/singer/instrumentalist is, you turn with a glow and a slightly smug smile and say, “That’s my friend. We’ve known each other for years.”
Yes, the glory of Coolness by Association is sweet. Especially since all you had to do in order to earn it was to have good taste in talented friends.
AWESOME!
#379 – Hearing your own voice
Hearing yourself on a video or other recording is always fun. You laugh in disbelief as this person who sounds NOTHING LIKE YOU speaks the exact words you know you spoke in that situation. “That’s what I sound like??” you gasp. That person’s voice is too high or too nasally or too annoying to be yours!
You sound strange and different and new.
AWESOME!
#399 – Terrible sci-fi movies (and MST3K)
Green, rubbery aliens. Horrible special effects. Thinly veiled metaphors about our own planet’s customs and traditions. Overuse of the word “flux.”
The only thing better than watching these movies is making fun of them with good friends.
AWESOME!
unexpectedly receiving a letter that your teacher made you write to your future self back in high school.
When I was in high school, our History teacher made us write a letter to our future self about what it was like at that moment in time, as well as where we expect to be at this point in our lives. I recently received the letter and found it totally awesome to remember my high school self and what my dreams were and to see where I am now compared to where I wanted to be then.
AWESOME!
You had an awesome teacher! That’s such a cool idea, I’m going to make my kid do that tonight!
I feel like your the only mom I know who probably gives her kid more “homework” than she ever gets in actual school. :)
You should write a book on the topic…
Happiest Nerd On the Block:
A guide to raising well-adjusted-but-geeky kids, by jdurley.
ha ha ha, In stores for the holiday season!
Childhood Misconceptions.
As a kid you hear your parents and other adults talking, and sometimes you may not hear things properly, and sometimes you just come up with your own ideas and they are usually awesome.
I remember as a kid thinking that my little brother (that my parents were promising) was growing in the ‘computerus’, which I imagined to be a room inside my mom that had a big desk full of lights and a monitor so he could see the outside world.
This is a really good one! I know exactly what you mean. When I was reallllllly young, I remember asking where Daddy went during the day. My mom told me he was going to work to “make pennies” so we could buy things. She told me this because I understood what pennies were — but not necessarily money — and so for the longest time, I thought my dad literally made pennies.
Another funny one is that my dad does something at work (as a pharmacist in a hospital) called “piggy backs”, so you can only imagine what I pictured when he talked about the piggy backs he did at work. I still don’t know what it means, exactly, but I was sad when I discovered that it wasn’t literal.
:)
Oh thats a good one Laura!
Another one of my own:
As a kid while watching The Muppet Show, I was always mystified by the laugh track that played after every joke. I didn’t realize that the show added the canned laughter in themselves, I thought that I was hearing EVERY person watching The Muppet Show from on their own TV laugh at those jokes. I used to sit as close to my TV as possible and at every joke (whether I understood it or not) I laughed as loud and as hard as I could, in hopes of hearing myself on the TV.
Oh my goodness! Speaking of laughing, this made me laugh! That’s hilarious and adorable :D
That laugh track story is HILARIOUS. :)
One of my friends thought that a Hide-a-Bed (you know, one of the beds that folds up into a couch) was actually a Hyda Bed; invented by a man named Hyda.
He believed this until his junior year of college.
I know this probably won’t be an idea that you can expand to a full AWESOME post, but I just have to say that painter’s tape will never cease to amaze me. Making designs is so amazing.
I also would just like to resubmit my “trading packed lunches” idea, even though it’s kind of going along with the obvious elementary school theme. But I suppose it can be expanded to corporate lunches and whatnot as well, hm?
Here’s to crossing fingers!
I’ve been trying to think of awesome things for the past three weeks. I know it’s been vaguely touched on already, but one of my favorite awesome things is shampoo hairstyles! With nobody around to witness, you can be extra creative, and try something you wouldn’t dare to try in real life. There’s the mohawk, the Pippi Longstocking, the “let’s see how my hair would look short,” the beehive…the list goes on! Awesome!
SO TRUE and SO AWESOME!! Not to mention how fun it is to have a temporarily different hair color: “So this is how I will look with white hair.”
*sorry if this is a double, I think I posted wrong the first time.
Having a sun warmed vehicle awaiting you in the parking lot on a cold day after a long work/school shift.
I think one of the most awesome moments comes after walking through a large parking lot on a cold, gloomy, drizzly, rainy day, opening your car/truck door and getting in only to find that it is warm and cozy! … all thanks to the awesome power of sun beams! It’s sort of like all of the things that probably went wrong that day don’t even matter because the world doesn’t hate you quite so much to leave you with a cold car ride home.
This awesomeness is multiplied if your shift ends at dusk when its already getting dark… then its even more unexpected! It’s like your car loves you so much that it is willing to hold the sun’s warmth to share with just you!
Thank goodness for the ol’ greenhouse effect! :D It IS great!
The day you finally make the decision to wash your winter jacket and put it in the back of your closet until next winter. Sometimes you do this a little early… but there’s no turning back! It’s worth the satisfaction – even if you have to spend a few days in several layers to keep warm.
A thin layer of ice on a puddle.
And the craking sound it makes when you step in it.
OH!
I may have thought of something.
Talent shows!
Nothing entertains me more than a well made film or a good story. I love seeing a compelling dramatic sequence of professionally executed characters dealing with a suspenseful plot all detailed with perfect camera angles and beautiful colors. Nothing beats it.
Except talent shows.
Talent shows are REAL people. Some off the street, some out of school, all doing something extraordinary. A nine year old belting Broadway songs. A suit and tie blasting tunes on a trombone. An engineering student doing flips through flaming rings.
People can really astonish you with what they can do, and talent shows are a real example of people showing their true, talented colors.
That’s a good one :) Even if the participants aren’t exceptionally talented (read: kindergarten talent show), it’s always highly entertaining. And you’ve got to commend them on having the guts to get up in front of all those people and do their thing!
Gurgling!!!
It doesn’t matter what you gurgle – water, mouthwash, fizzy pop – it’s just so fun!
Also: blowing bubbles into a drink with a straw. Always used to get in trouble for this when I was a kid but now that I’m all grown-up there’s nobody to tell me it’s bad manners!
The crunching sound a vacuum makes when it’s sucking up stuff. Not only is the roaring motor a sign that it’s doing it’s job, but add in those few extra crunches and it makes it all the better.
AWESOME!
The “Trying to sing the beginning of The Lion King” page on Facebook, because reading it will make you laugh so hard you feel a six pack coming on !
Awesome enough!
Checking 1000awesomethings.com before you go to bed and realizing that tomorrow’s Awesome Thing has already been posted! And you get to go to bed smiling :). Makes my night, every time.
It’s awesome to be your own skin color. Everyone is a different color and everyone’s skin color is pretty in its own way … until you pop it into a tanning booth and crank up the dial on the leather-o-meter and see the orange skin that pops out!
I like my pastiness….thats what I tell everyone when they try to convince me to go to a tanning salon. No thanks. I perfer to be skin cancer free and NOT orange.
tux hunting.
I thought this read “tax” hunting…I thought, are you kidding me? Gruelling! Then I reflected on how accomplished one does feel when searching for documents required for income taxes, and being able to locate every single one of them, (and then some); feeling like the best investigator ever, all based in “fair, just, open and honest”, manner…just as the gov’t states in the otherwise threatening average of 3 letters/week…(I thought about boxing up and sending to some special “green” agents). Losing hours of sleep and part of your mind; as the majority stresses to give it up; that to fight is futile, but you know this would result in extremely nasty consequences-lose everything you own and reputation! Knowing you are innocent! NO, you dig your heels in and you fight, “Fair, Just, Open and Honest.” A lawyer wants thousands of dollars to “cut a deal with the gov’t; one that you will still have a criminal record of fraud and all that goes along with that; one that the gov’t may agree to 50% of “the bill.” Again, why let all this go; that which you’ve worked so hard for.
So yes, I took the complex matter into hands; which took 18 gruelling months but resulted in such astonishment by many and an amazing accomplishment in life, really… I was successful and actually had money owed to us…
To “tax hunt” and prove your innocence in an audit is AWESOME!
Oh, I guess you could really say, “I cracked the case, alright!” And am so proud of it!
I swear I’m not doing multiple posts on purpose, I just keep thinking of more!
Scalp massages! Just close your eyes and mmmmmm…..
the rewind button on the controller
Another Awesome Thing –
Guessing What Someone Will Say Before They Say It
I know people who thrive on this concept. They will try to lead you into traps, try to get you to walk into a joke, and just generally get a kick out of knowing what you are going to say and working it to their advantage.
Tricking someone by guessing what they’re going to say will probably give you a good laugh. But, the concept of guessing your buddies’ thoughts doesn’t lose its awesomeness if you aren’t trying to trick them. A couple awesome things can be produced by this phenomenon:
1. The jinx. Knowing what your buddy is going to say that then saying it at the same time as them, then yelling JINX! This one is a classic.
2. “Great Minds Think Alike” – Sort of worming your way into the conversation and saying what your buddy was going to say before they get a chance to, and then having them look at you and say with amazement, “I was going to say that!”. All you can do then is say with a smile, “Great minds think alike, I guess”.
Knowing what someone is going to say before they say it is awesome if you guess the thoughts of someone who is really getting on your nerves. Guessing what they are going to say gives you a leg up in the conversation, like “Yeah, I knew what you were going to say. Ha.” It’s a very powerful mentality.
On the other hand, guessing what someone you like is going to say is also awesome. It makes you feel like, “Hey, I know this person so well that I can guess their thoughts!” And how cool is that?
In fact, I might argue that it’s not just cool, it’s
AWESOME!
Yeah! I love this! haha
I love this as well. I love when you unintentionally say what your friend was going to say, or vice versa.