#473 When that social event you didn’t want to go to gets cancelled

Neil Pasricha

Catch you next time, distant cousin’s baby shower. We totally would have been there, new coworker’s birthday party. Sorry it didn’t work out, someone we don’t know’s wedding.

AWESOME!

— Email message —

“My parents, sister, and I were fortunate enough to spend my 20th birthday in the U.S. Virgin Islands. I had shown my father your website, leading to a copy of The Book of Awesome for my mother on mother’s day and then surprising me with one for my birthday. Today I spent some quality sand covered time reading your book after an afternoon sting ray spotting and snorkeling!” – Kat

Photo from: here

49 thoughts to “#473 When that social event you didn’t want to go to gets cancelled”

  2. THIS IS AWESOME! I think this also applies to sports events that you didn’t want to happen either. Small scrimmages that you would have to drive 10 hours for that you didn’t want to go. Coach says: “Sorry everyone” and you’re just like: “yea. sorry (*thinking* – AWESOME!)” :)

    1. I can totally agree with that.
      Especially if it is like a practice that you especially didn’t want to do.
      “You guys, you are missing an opportunity to do a pool workout (we are cross-country runners, btw)” , what’s going through our heads :”Yes! We are gaining an opportunity to sleep/eat/do stuff”. But of course we look sad, we wouldn’t want him to know how happy we are about that. ;)

      AWESOME!!!

  3. Aw, shucks! I was really looking forward to an afternoon full of forced merriment and awkward small talk … I guess we’ll have to reschedule!

    P.S. I like the new banner photo. :)

    1. Just checked my calendar – while I’m fully booked on forced merriment and awkward small talk, I have an opening next Wednesday for an hour of “milling about the appetizer table and staring around the room pretending to look for someone so people don’t realize I don’t know anyone at this party”.

      Are you free then?

      1. Perfect! I was actually just thinking it’d been far too long since I’d last milled around an appetizer table while staring around the room pretending to look for someone in order to keep people from realizing I don’t know anyone at the party!

        Thanks for the invite, I will see you next Wednesday. I’ll be the other person at the appetizer table with an unusually intent gaze. ;)

      2. Hhahahaha, the fact that you feel that way is AWESOME. That is EXACTLY how I feel at parties (unless it is like close family or friends, and it is small). They say: “Hey, you wanna come to the pasta party tonight, It’s gonna be sooo fun!!!” … I think: “Yea, I wanna come there, realize that I can only eat about one or two things from the table, get a plate full and look for an empty table, try to make conversation with some sophomore sitting next to me, and leave 15 minutes later because I am finished and it is really awkward being there all quiet and such. It sounds so0 ‘FUN’ !!!”

        btw, the word awkward is AWESOME, just a random side-note.

  4. I dunno, I was looking forward to hastily prepared appetizers and feeling alone in a room full of bored-looking people. Drat!

    1. Did I mention that I won’t be able to eat half of the appetizers? Sounds pretty fun to me, I don’t know, I am going to be pretty sad that I am missing that.

    1. Somehow I’m afraid that you’ll be going to a LOT of funerals when the Zombie Apocalypse happens..

      1. Dude, I don’t think that’s how the Zombie Apocalypse works. There are no dead bodies, only “undead” ones. Nothing to bury = no funerals. Doesn’t it?

        But this leads me to another thought: if you were a zombie trying to blend into society, what better profession to choose than mortician? Eh? Think about it.

        1. Don’t you think that they would notice that this one mortician kept ordering a lot of cantelopes? (I assume that any right-thinking zombie would use a cantelope to fill up the cranial cavity once he’s eaten your brains… let me know if I’m mistaken).

          1. Perhaps he could claim that he offers the grieving families a refreshing fruit salad. A salad that is suspiciously low on canteloupe…

  6. sometimes I have to go to someone-I-don’t-know’s wedding:-( for the sake of politeness strategy here.
    Awesome post

  7. Or, as just happened to me, that 8.30pm sports game you really didn’t want to play gets cancelled. The other team just forfeited so I get to stay home and not drag my butt out in the cold! (I’m in Australia and it’s cold today!)

  9. Oh my goodness! Wouldn’t it be more awesome to care deeply about the distant cousin or the poor person who died and has that funeral? I agree with saying “no” to events we don’t want to go to, but maybe we should also figure out what’s wrong with us that we loathe such events in the first place. That’s not being “awesome” to me! http://www.livewithflair.blogspot.com/

    1. Some people aren’t really social, and I agree that funerals are important, but if you don’t want to do any of the other things, you shouldn’t be forced to. If you are there and aren’t contributing, it is better that you aren’t.

  10. I’m not really a social person, but hubby is. He drags me to so many things with so many people. I don’t like most of them and they don’t really like me either. I can’t do small talk, I feel weird….so… I don’t really talk much at all. So, yeah…when there’s a big party or cookout or something coming up, I dread it. I can just see myself stuck in a corner alone playing games on my phone or napping while my social butterfly hubby flutters around the room….. but when they are canceled…rain/the host got busy all of a sudden/most of the people are angry at each other/ my family plans something and I can go there without feeling guilty…whatever the reason… its awesome and I can forget about talking about the weather or smiling and nodding when someone tells me a story they have told me a million times already.

  11. Introverts of the world, unite! (individually, in remote locations, over the internet, of course.)

    1. We have nothing to lose but our yearning desire to be left alone with our video games, vampire-themed books & TV shows, and chemistry sets!

        1. If my wife ever reads these comment boards, she’ll never forgive me for spilling the beans on that one.. ;)

          1. Uhoh, I don’t want to get you in trouble … well, in your defense, YOU only mentioned it once. I am the one who keeps revisiting it. Hahahaha.

            1. Well, I shouldn’t claim that I’m actually that worried about it, as we had about 15 people over the other day for a housewarming party, and I managed to work it into conversation about 3 times. So I’m not exactly doing my best to keep it quiet.

  13. As someone who is very socially awkward in large groups, this is one of my favorite things ever!

    A similar thing just happened yesterday… in a few weeks, my boyfriend’s friends are holding their annual cookout. I’ve never met any of them, so I’ve been dreading going, as he tends to get swept up in being social and accidentally leaves me to stand around awkwardly.

    Well, the event wasn’t cancelled, but my boyfriend decided that he didn’t feel like going this year, so we’re taking a trip that weekend instead. I was SO relieved!

  14. Oof! Man, I love it too when that happens, but while cancelled awkward-gaming-nights and cancelled obligatory-boring-meetings are awesome, taking awesome from cancelled baby showers and weddings is a little more schadenfreude than how you usually roll, Neil!

    Which, schadenfreude is its own guilty awesome, and I’m impressed by how little you fall back on it on this site. Just noting my surprise at your examples, is all. :-)

    1. A canceled baby shower could just mean the Mom went into labor early…..so everyone wins!! Not mean-spirited at all!! In fact, I had my baby shower this past weekend and was kind of hoping for this exact set of circumstances :-) In the case of weddings, maybe the wedding wasn’t canceled, but you were invited as a “plus one,” instead of a date……and then your friend found a “date” and replaced you…..also awesome – friend doesn’t have to have a date who’s just a friend, and you get your night back!!

    1. Dudette, it is not selfish to not want to go to a social event. Some people aren’t naturally that way. They shouldn’t have to suffer. Get over yourself.

  17. It’s delightful to suddenly have a few free hours to sit on a patio with a glass of wine or curl up in a hammock with a good book….

  19. This is very true. Very, very… very true.

    Since getting the book along with keeping up with the website i’ve found that reading these aloud is brilliantly hilarious. Add in some sort of accent that makes you sound cooler and it’s even more AWESOME!

  21. You know I’ve never really experienced this. Sure maybe a handful of times (mostly when I was a kid) but generally speaking if I don’t want to be somewhere I just say so. I can’t even begin to imagine how people can endure boring/awkward/terrible social situations on a frequent basis.

  22. Sometimes I throw a sigh of relief when plans to hang out fall through. Is that bad? Maybe I’m just introverted to the bone!

  23. This one is truly awesome. Beats making up an excuse and feeling guilty for lying – there’s only so many bugs the kids can catch in a year!

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