Toppings are tough.
The other day I was watching movies with my friend Shiv when our stomachs started rumbling and we decided to dial for dinner. I got up and grabbed a stack of crinkly takeout menus from the junk drawer and we flipped through all the fancy ones before settling on pizza.
Of course, before I picked up the phone we entered into one of those classic Pre-Order Topping Chats.
Most of us know from experience that those chats don’t always end well. Brother, it can get heated with the double cheese debates and stormy arguments over pineapple juice runoff. I’ve seen movie nights get divided and end with tears, broken hearts, and slamming bathroom doors. 
Shiv and I had both been hurt before so we entered into our chat slowly:
“So… uh, what do you like on your pizza?”
“Oh, you know, I’m pretty easy. Do you like … meat?”
“Yeah, of course. Pepperoni then? What about mushrooms?”
“I love mushrooms! Okay… pepperoni, mushrooms. Want to get one more? Um, how do you feel about pineapple?” (giant nervous smile with raised eyebrows)
“No way, you like pineapple? That’s my favorite! This is perfect, I always get pepperoni, mushrooms, and pineapple. And thin crust.”
“I love thin crust! We’re Pizza Soulmates!”
An hour later we were still wearing clown-faced grins when we popped open a steaming box of crispy-corner pepperoni, paper thin mushrooms, and juicy pineapple chunks staring back at us. We sat back and scarfed back a lot of hot slices of perfect pizza that night. And it was beautiful.
Life will twist and turn us in all directions, but let’s remember that we all deserve to be happy. Yeah, I say forget half-toppings, forget counting slices, and forget making sacrifices. If you like green olives, hot peppers, or spicy sausage, don’t leave it off.
Just keep looking for your Pizza Soulmate.
Maybe they’re out there right now looking for you.
AWESOME!
They are! They are out there. It may take some time, but never lose hope of finding your pizza soulmate.
Most my friends are very picky about their pizzas; my pizza soulmate is a little girl I used to babysit! She and I are completely un-picky but ended up choosing the same toppings as each other every time we ordered pizza.
Unrelated, I like the new header image :D
I second the liking of the title image :)
Agreed. In the immortal words of Liz Lemon: “I want to go to there.”
:)
;)
I had my pizza soulmate….her name was Laura…and she left me 2 months ago…i didn’t eat pizza since than…. :(
This seems to be the perfect compliment to the “chicken wing partner” entry, which was equally as awesome.
I thought exactly the same thing, as soon as I read the title.. I love it when loyal readers make the same connections I do.. :)
Can you imagine the epic proportion of your soulmate-ness if you were to find your pizza soulmate AND chicken wing partner in the same person?!
Wow…
everything in it — yessss! :)
Pineapple is my favorite, too!
Haha – I feel like it’s been gaining popularity. It used to be really hard to find pineapple lovers, but I recently found a few :D
I agree — when I was little, I don’t really remember pineapple even being an option at most places; now it’s the norm. Awesome!
I used to eat pineapple on my pizza all the time! Now I don’t because it gives me heartburn.
Pineapple has totally been my favorite since, oh, forever. :) <3
“What do you like on your pizza” is such a loaded question..
Personally, my favorite answer is the “None Pizza with Left Beef”.
http://www.thesneeze.com/2007/the-great-pizza-orientation-test.php
This link really resonated for me and a buddy of mine, as we are frequent users of online ordering, and had contemplated most of these ideas previously.
That article just made me laugh so hard. I would totally call and complain about mixed up halves!
That is so funny!! The article made me seriously LOL….
I’m glad I’m not the only one..
I hadn’t read that article in a few years, but immediately thought back to it as it was the hardest I’d ever LOL’ed to something on the internets before.
That’s how I am with the Goat article. It never fails me!
It totally is! And it seems to always be asked somewhat nervously.
One day, I am going to find my pizza soulmate. Then I will have pizza! Seriously, I can only eat like three slices, so it’s not worth getting one for myself.
The solution to your problems: Crooked Crust Pizza! You can order a quarter of a pizza for $5.00 and it comes with a drink–fantastic. You can also order half a pizza for $9.00 and it comes with two drinks! Check it out : )
A bittersweet thing (with this and the wings partner too) is that I’m like the complete opposite of a picky eater so I can have multiple pizza soulmates. Wow I’m such a pizza slut. :(
HAHA! This made me laugh! I’m not very picky, either. I have my VERY favorite, of course, but for the most part I can be pizza-compatible with almost anyone. Except an anchovy-lover … y’all are on your own.
I tried to introduce the wife to the pleasures of anchovies on a pizza early in our relationship, and she wasn’t buying.
Finally got her to give it a go just last year.
Let’s just say, it didn’t go very well.
I guess we’ll just have to be soulmates in other “non-pizza” areas.
Has she / your sisters ever tried Nutella as a pizza topping? ;)
Or perhaps as a dip??
Good ideas all around – I’ll have to let them know..
I think they’ve definitely had their share of dessert pizzas with Nutella.. I’m just not sure if they’ve gone all the way and smothered Nutella on a regular pizza..
Somehow I feel like this is going to end badly.
I like to use chip dip or ranch dressing as a dip for my pizza. I know its far off from Nutella, but you just made me think of it.
I do the same, Bekah! I almost feel like my pizza’s naked if I don’t have ranch to dip it in!
im so lame, i just love a nice, cheesy good ol slice of pizza :)
Nothing wrong with being a pizza purist every now and again … plain cheese is still yummy!
So do I! So, you’re my pizza soulmate. Next time I have a slice I’ll toast our purist pizza adoration with a big cheesy bite!
yay! i’ve found my pizza soulmate, i will think of you the next time i take a bite of a delicious plain slice :D
What a touching story. Does it end at the Blue Oyster?
My twin brother and I used to be pizza soulmates. Then he got even pickier and I got more open to more toppings so we’re no longer compatible. Instead, my friends replaced him. Non-picky eaters = yay :)
I’m probably pizza soulmate for like a zillion people.
“What d’you like on pizza?”
“Er. Anything*?”
“Awesome!”
* Within reason, obviously. If somebody wants me to share their pigs-trotter and tripe pizza they can get the hell out.
I like all kinds of things on my pizza and I like to switch it up sometimes so its hard for me to find my pizza soulmate. I usually settle and get an all meat pizza cuz that’s what hubby likes, but I don’t. The only meat I really like is the pepperoni. Peppers, mushrooms, fruit, even spinach are just some of my favorite things.
Is it wrong that after reading this post I’m craving ‘za and it’s only 7:50am? Nice work! :)
8:35 a.m. over here and all I want in life right now is a pizza.
mmmmm pizza…. i’m pretty sure that any time can be pizza time, it’s just that awesome.
It is NEVER too early for pizza. Ever.
Pizza is definitely a breakfast of champions.
My family gets vegetable pizza because they don’t have a particular favourite and it’s my favourite so they get it for me. :D
My partner and I are more like “sushi soulmates” – I agree it’s a delightful experience to bond over favourite foods….
My boyfriend likes all meat lovers and I like all veggie… it’s tough at times..but somehow we make it work! haha :)
just stumbled upon your blog/book.
I’m so excited you’re making us realize the little things!
My husband and I end up doing the “I’ll have this on my half” when we order pizza. I despise mushrooms and he despises fresh tomatoes.
My best friend is more than my Pizza Soulmate -she’s my Food Soulmate! We love the same foods, which makes it easier to share.
I learned to make my own pizza, when we moved to a rural setting ( no delivery)…now each family member gets their own personal pizza…everyone is happy and half the cost :) …but i have to admit…a pizza soulmate would be nice.
Somehow I have been able to share most pizza toppings with my Hubby. The only difference is the mushrooms and I don’t mind picking them off. The real crazy thing is when we went to a pizzeria a couple years ago. We decided to try anchovies. We were both weary and put them on an extra pizza, one that would be nice to have, but not necessary to feed the family. My husband picked up the first slice and took a bite, he was in heaven. He was also terrified that I would hate it and he would never enjoy anchovies again…. I took my first bite, and yes, we are still soul mates, even with pizza.
Pineapple, pepperoni, and mushrooms are my favorite pizza toppings too. Crazy!
ahhh! We’re pizza soul mates too! i love pineapple pepperoni and mushrooms!
“An hour later we were still wearing clown-faced grins when we popped open…”
If it takes you an HOUR to get your pizza, you’re doing it wrong…
The wonderful sound of the pizza man ringing your doorbell: AWESOME!
So you’ve ordered the pizza, and your mouth is already watering. You start to drool as you dream about the spicy pepperoni and greasy mozzerella. All you can think about is the best food in the world: Pizza.
But, wait! There’s a twist: Unlike fast food, your pizza dream doesn’t come true immediately. You gotta wait for what seems like forever to open that hot box of pizza and dive into a world of delicousness.
So you sit there, flipping through magazines and TV channels. But you can’t focus on American Idol. No, you can’t hear the screeching wails of whatever contestant is trying to….er, sing.
All you hear is that doorbell ringing, signaling dinner time.
AWESOME!
Like your writing!
thanks! that made me smile.
I, too, have yet to find my Pizza Soulmate. Every open pizza debate ends with me hanging my head in shame/sadness because once I tell people I’d be fine eating a plain cheese, I get accused of being a toddler.
Then once the pizza comes I slink back into a corner and nibble on my crusts. Ah me, what’s a girl to do?
It’s okay! Your Pizza Soulmate is out there somewhere…you’ll find them soon.
Find Sam and Kathy, commenters from before! They like plain cheese, too!
Tiffany, I hear ya girl! We’re here…Sam and I are your pizza soulmates! Hey, we’re a threesome now…very cool!
Dude! That is an amazing thing! I don’t know that I’ve found my pizza soul-mate, yet, but I cannot wait to! Bahahaha.
I have yet to find a pizza soul mate, as well. I have two favorites that I choose from, depending on whether I want something sweet/fruity or not.
1. Cheese, pineapple, and sausage
2. Extra cheese, pepperoni, spinach and broccoli (if it’s available).
YUM!
!!!!!!
I’d take #1 if it the sausage was replaced with ham
But #2 is awesome! I can never find someone else that like those veggies on their pizza.
Broccoli on pizza is Ah-mazing!! I’m usually willing to compromise and put ham or canadian bacon instead of sausage, since people usually like that more.
From an earlier post, it looks like we both like dipping pizza in ranch, too. It looks like we’re virtual pizza soul-mates! =)
That combination sounds absolutely delicious! Pineapple is easily my favorite thing to have on pizzas!
Not that long ago, I had a small party with 5 friends. The good thing about having more people over is that you have to order more pizza ^^ So those who didn’t like chicken or pineapple could get some of the other, more basic pizza.
Pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms, and pineapple here. This should definitely be in The Book of Awesome 2.0. :)
yes, most definitely it should be in the next book.
Love all those toppings too.
My Pal and I always have a ham and pineapple and sweetcorn pizza on a night out. It’s classic :)
You should come to Korea. They put corn on pizza, in ice cream, in bread… to name a few.
I like mushrooms on mine. Just plain is also good.
I actually hate all pizza toppings I’ve tried. I like my pie plain, or with extra cheese.
it’s all fun and games, until you and your pizza soulmate are both eyeing the last slice! :)
Ha! So true. That is why you need to order/make extra for tomorrow’s breakfast!
So true. soulmates are always awesome :)
You described my perfect pizza, except for the thin crust bit. I like some substance to my bread :)
AWESOME! That’s exactly how I like my pizza!
Why do I hear that guy that narrated the b&w Twilight Zone narrating this blog? <3
who names their kid Shiv?
Deep dish with pepperoni and mushrooms. Yeah, it’s kinda simple, but I was still overjoyed when my wife and I were first dating to learn that it was her favorite too.
But it gets better – I love making them at home and so does she. Then to top it all off, her mom even had an AWESOME crust recipe that was better than mine and which she bequeathed to me, not knowing she would unexpectedly pass away soon after.
Talk about destiny!
I like it plain, so i dont have any probs to find partners to pizza :)
That’s so true- i love peperoni pizza though
There’s a restaurant here called East Side Mario’s, and they will make a compromising pizza… save passion…”Budda-boom, budda-bing, budda-boom, budda-ching,” that’s amoure!
דיאטה טובה היא לא דיאטת כסאח. תזונה מאוזנת הכרחית עבור שמירה על משקל גוף אידאלי. חשוב להיוועץ בדיאטנית מומחית ובעלת ניסיון. אחרי הכול, לכל אחד גוף שונה ובריאות שונה, ולשם כך יש להתאים לו דיאטה מיוחדת.