#966 Living with someone who doesn’t mind killing spiders

Neil Pasricha

Long legs on daddy

It’s great living with someone who doesn’t mind killing spiders.

In college we would call upon our roommate Dee to take care of the job. It was almost too easy, too. “Dee!,” we’d yell from the couch, lazily flipping channels while eating Chef Boyardee, “Spider.” And that was it, really. Sure enough, every time, Dee’s bedroom door would crack open, his lumbering frame would cast long shadows down the hall, and he’d step out slowly, raise his eyebrows, and then just go about taking care of business. I always admired his quiet, serious approach to the whole thing. No exchange of pleasantries, no asking for help, no mentioning it later. It was just business with him. Case closed, open and shut. He’d finish up and go back to studying in his room like nothing happened. Life was good.

You get this plus your wits

Then I got married and the role of Spider Killer was delegated to me. It’s a fair arrangement and I don’t mind the responsibility, but I have to tell you: it’s a different story when you’re the one calmly grabbing a Kleenex from the bathroom on demand, walking over to the spider, squishing it to smithereens, and then flushing it down the toilet to seal the deal. Because that’s when it really hits home. That’s when you first feel the weight of the spidercide resting squarely on your conscience. It’s there and you know it. Eventually you just get numb.

I miss living with Dee. I think I took his role for granted for too long. Looking back, I just want to tell you now: if you currently live with someone who takes care of your spiders, thank them. Hug them. Smile and say you appreciate the good work they’re doing. Because let me tell you, one day you might be called upon to take their place, and only then will you see what they go through each and every time a Daddy Long-Legs scurries up a wall.

So then, altogether now. Let’s hear it for them. Living with someone who doesn’t mind killing spiders?

AWESOME!

Spider heaven

28 thoughts to “#966 Living with someone who doesn’t mind killing spiders”

  1. Awesome!

    A spider, not so long ago, committed suicide in front of me. I was working on some homework at a coffee shop near my house, when suddenly..

    Splat!

    The thing fell from the tall ceiling and right into my table. Sad day. Well, for the spider.

    Edwin

  2. I need a Dee in my life. Spiders creep the bajeesus out of me. o__O

    I am so screwed when I move out of home. I’ll be all alone…

    …And painfully aware of the fact that we are apparently never more than three feet away from a spider at any time.

    1. You’ll need to get a small dog that likes to chase things like that. My mom had a one and he chased spiders and lady bugs.. and ate them.

  3. Yes – I too can now appreciate what it is to be the one that has to get rid of the spiders now. My husband passed away 2 years ago and it is just me now. The first time I saw one of these little creatures I “freaked” and yelled for him out of habit, and then reallity hit! Now it’s my turn to do this – UGH! Can I do it? I would never let him kill any bugs, He would have to catch them and gently release them out into the yard. So now, each time I have to catch a bug and release it into the outside world I look to the heavens and say “Thanks Honey” for all of the times I took him for granted when I yelled “Honey – A Bug!”

  4. Agree:) However; if you live alone and/or for other obvious reasons~ Spiders despise horse chestnuts saponin! Environmentally, pet friendly; free, and you don’t have to deal with spiders, or most any creepy crawly insect in the house at all, ever again! Also despised are most sweet smelling things as lovely Lavender, Sweet grass and Sandelwood. Doctors from South Africa and Australia told me this at emergency after being bitten 2x by venomous spiders which *trust me* is NO FUN AT ALL!!! Place in areas such as window cills, behind dryer near vent, by head boards and behind couches. I’ve had NO spiders since, in 5 years! Since horse chestnuts could be a choking hazard If you have small children, wrap in a breathable mesh sack such as the ones oranges come in. Replace when the chestnuts seem dry, at least every year so the oil is fresh.
    I know, I know, I thought about near everything. Why? Because I love you’s!
    Your welcome. Curtsy. Wave. Have an Awesome day. :) Exit.

      1. Well gosh darnit, and aren’t you so thoughtful for saying so. blush. whistles Andy Griffith:)

  5. My boyfriend won’t kill spiders. He won’t kill any bugs actually (except for fruit flies). He will capture them in his hands and gently place them outside. I think it’s awesome that he is able to rid spiders from the house for me but without actually killing such a useful little creature.

  6. My husband and I have the same spider extraction philosophy: we can’t kill them (too crunchy), but we have no problem coraling them onto a piece of paper and letting them free while our daughters are screaming the entire time, “Kill it! Kill it!”. Mice on the other hand are a different story. When we first moved into our house we had a mouse. I don’t mind setting the traps, but I can’t stand to see a little mouse trapped with his poor little neck broken. My husband can’t set traps (flashbacks from his childhood), but he doesn’t mind emptying the traps. A match made in heaven on so many levels!

    1. My daughter insists that we use live capture mouse traps, and then release the mice into the wild. They are very cute. However, a few mice have perished by misadventure.

        1. jdurley, I wrote and very illustrated a memoirs, short-story, poem-book about ‘science project mice, fast turned fine furry friends’, my best friend Shelley and I had in our youth. Although I have never intended to have it published, t’was moreover a dedication to my friends, for my children, their children and so on, I have gifted the book to a select few in my circle of friends and family as well as Robert Munsch, who have made comments such as delightfully uplifting, warm-hearted and humorous. *Sounds like your daughter might have a special place in her heart for Oscar and Sniffles… I’d be more than happy to send her a copy.
          Just say the word and I would ship one out to Toronto, all expenses pd.:)

          1. oops! first line was supposed to read, “very child-like, amaturely illustrated”, b/c I’d never drawn betond stick men before the mice so inspired me to!

  8. I never kills spiders. They’re one of the only bugs that don’t creep me out. I just let them do their thing killing other bugs (YEA!) or put them outside. Centipedes and other 6-legged bugs do not get the same lovin’ from me, though. I call in the boyfriend to take care of ’em. Yech!

  9. Wow, that looks like a PHOTO of an ACTUAL TOILET there at the end… You know what that means!

      1. I think it’s time to create a new tick too such as every time Neil mentions orfice exits…:)

        1. LMAO! What was the precise count for the blog’s first run? Surely someone kept an accurate count!

          1. I meant to say, anytime Neil writes about anything exiting an orfice:)
            *As for the count, I’m certain jdurley and Emmy kept count last time around:)

  10. I’ve been known to wake my husband up in the middle of the night to kill spiders and he never complains!

  12. Your friend Dee is a very brave lad. I’ve never been able to kill spiders. My conscious won’t let me. The best I can to is to scoop them up and toss them out the door. Sometimes with a gruff, “We don’t serve your kind here!”. Just for fun.

  13. Bless the stranger version of Dee who removed a spider from my car, since my boyfriend was too far away to do the job. I was driving and saw the bugger on the inside far right corner, which is way to close for my liking! I pulled over, raced to the unsuspecting fellow outside his house and he calmly removed the hairy thing! Before all of this happened I called my boyfriend very much on the verge of panic and he was even going to drive about half an hour to get that thing out of my car!

  14. I don’t mind spiders or bugs or anything like that. I take care of them myself. Sometimes I’ll squish them, sometimes I’ll pick them up and take them outside. It just depends on my mood. My best friend and her husband really enjoys when I visit because they hate spiders and won’t go near them.

    1. Yikes, am I allowed to link like that? If not, somebody please edit it for me. I don’t really know blog etiquette.
      Anyway, speaking of uninvited houseguests, I had 2 single female friends who had vermin problems this week. One returned home at night to find a bat resting comfortably on her couch…OMG! BIG creep factor on bats for me! She managed to get it out of the house herself…now that’s a Honey Badger if ever I heard of one! The other friend has mice in her house and found a snake in her garage. I could actually handle the snake, but mice in the house kinda gross me out a bit. So, at least for me, there are much worse things than spiders…unless they’re living in my ear!

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