#951 Hearing a stranger fart in public

Neil Pasricha

Here we go

What’s funnier than hearing a stranger fart in public?

Well sure, it can happen in a bank lineup, hotel lobby, or subway car. It can happen in a restaurant, movie theater, or local bar. But the funniest of all has got to be the Elevator Fart. That’s the king of public farts, for two main reasons:

1. Acoustics. It’s almost always dead silent in an elevator. People usually keep quiet, stare firmly at the front door, and wait for their floor. Any whisper or laugh echos around the box with full force, reverberating loudly for all to hear. So a giant, rippling fart popped out by a bald businessman in a suit holding a briefcase in front of him? That’s like a 21 gun salute.

Blast it out

2. Time. If you’re climbing a highrise, you’re spending maybe a minute or two with these people. It’s you and them, locked together. Hearing a stranger fart on the sidewalk is one thing. Hearing a stranger fart in a tiny, enclosed room is another. Nobody can escape the full experience, from big bang to first whiff to total elevator saturation.

Hearing a stranger fart in public is great partly because of everybody’s reaction. There are really four main types of fart reactions you see:

  • Concealed Laughers. These folks purse their lips tightly, pop open their eyes, and try not to laugh. If they’re with friends then the sight of their friend also trying to hold in their laugh can be too much, and they suddenly explode into a full-blown belly laughs.
  • The Business Class. Folks in suits often try to pretend that nothing happened. “Nope, everything’s just chipper here, I don’t smell anything at all.” Their only tells might be a very subtle step away from the culprit and a few extra looks at their watch.
  • Deep-Sea Divers. These folks try to hold their breath as long as possible. They hear the fart and it’s “Come on lungs, don’t fail me now.” They’re the ones with the chipmunk cheeks who eventually pop and gasp desperately for air when the door opens.
  • Innocent Children. Little kids are always the funniest. I once heard a child in an elevator say “Mommy, that man just farted” with a full-on finger point right into the well-dressed ass in front of his face. But hey, I guess if you’re going to fart in a kid’s face, you deserve to be called out.

Yes, hearing a stranger fart in public can be a tiny, hilarious moment in the middle of any day. If you’re the farter, I say be loud and be proud! We’ve all been there, so no need to be embarassed. If you’re in the audience, I say enjoy the hilarious social faux-pas and resulting reaction in the room.

So thank you, strangers farting in public, for adding a great bit of comic relief to the middle of our day.

AWESOME!

Be proud of it, just like George

Photos from: here, here, and here

17 thoughts to “#951 Hearing a stranger fart in public”

  1. This post is brilliant, as are the accompanying pics! Just discussed this with friends last weekend…always good for laughs. :)
    Oh, and as funny as it is, catching a whiff of a stranger’s fart is a toe-curling-hair-standing-on-end-absolute-grossout thing for me so I’m a deep sea diver!

  2. That first picture cracked me up! As did the descriptions throughout the entire post. I can definitely imagine the “Concealed laughter” occurring amongst my group of friends.

    I don’t care what anyone says. Farts ARE funny…

  3. funniest post in 1000awesomethings!:)
    The business class group is so funny.

    Children are the most straightforward people:)

  4. My son just now got to the point where he thinks his own farts are funny. Every time my 19 months old lets one out, he giggles.
    I really don’t think I’ve heard a stranger. I usually ride the elevator at work by myself and anywhere else I go, I take the stairs. I walk to fast through the mall to be close to anyone long enough to tell. But my kids, man, they let them rip and then burst out in laughter.

    1. Noah and Sienna are so the same way…and we call them toots. I just love the honesty and laughter had over their too-toots!

  5. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a stranger fart in public. If I ever did, I think I’d either be a Deep-Sea Diver type person, or the Concealed Laughters type. The Business Class seem to be the funniest type. Business folks are always so serious.

  6. I cannot conceal it and typically split gut laughing!
    You can always tell the mood of a home or gathering by way of a fart!
    And the best song for this~ “I can feel it coming in the air tonight!”

  8. I just hate when your fart then someone walks in your direction! It doesn’t matter where you go either, it just sticks around!

  10. This is the funniest one in the whole list! I keep a copy of Book of Awesome at my work desk and if I or any workmates need a pick me up, I tell them to read this post. Hilarious!

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  14. Fantastic web site. Plenty of helpful info here. I¡¦m sending it to several friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks on your effort!

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