Yes, I’m talking about rubbing and twisting that cottony Q-Tip tip right on up inside your ear canal. Yeah, get it deep in there, where it doesn’t belong, because it’s like an amazing, satisfying inner-ear massage.
Also, the more dark, waxy, and disgusting the Q-Tip is when you’re done, the more satisfying it is, am I right? Because then on top of the inner-ear massage you get a killer “Whoa, that just came out of me…” high, too. For those keeping track at home, that’s two highs for the price of one. Not a bad deal!
Now, I know what you’re thinking: How could I possibly advocate doing something so terribly dangerous like pushing a hard, pointy object up against your fragile ear drum? I mean, the box itself says right on it “Do not insert swab into ear canal. Entering the ear canal could cause injury.” Plus, the Q-Tips website doesn’t even mention sticking them in your ears. And neither do the pictures on the back of the box! No, all they talk about is how Q-Tips are great for applying makeup, cleaning your camera lens, painting with your kids, and, uh… dog.
Seriously, could someone figure out why the dog’s on there? If you could, that’d be pretty…
INFORMATIVE!
In conclusion, you need to be careful when you’re scraping your ear out. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun while you’re at it.
AWESOME!
Best Gift Ever? The 2013 Calendar of Awesome! Now Available from Amazon or Barnes & Noble!
Photo from: here
The first time someone told me that I was using a cotton bud the way I’m “not supposed to”, I thought they were pulling my leg…
Also, I got a good giggle out of INFORMATIVE! ;)
“Cotton bud” is adorable! I like that! It does look like a cotton flower ready to blossom forth from the bud!
We call the good feeling of a q-tip in the ear an eargasm. Enjoy!
You asked for it…
It was grade 3, fav. teacher EVER, Mrs. Campbell. First full report EVER, first time EVER spending time in the hall *for fun*, researching from an encyclopedia! There was coloured poster board and everything! I wanted a dog SO bad, my REPORT was on DOGS! And I’m here to tell you, Qtips are awesome for analysing dog feces for worms, collecting a sample of near anything that exits dog orfices, in order to be sent to a lab; to clean their eye boogers and last but not least, to clean their ears,especially if they get mites. There are some “lovely” INFORMATIVE images on line!
Mini-me, reporting to you…YOU’RE WELCOME…Over and out! :)
Wait, you’re… not supposed to do that?
Please don’t talk about clearing out your ear canals when my ears, nose, and brain are stuffed full of cold germs that resist all attempts to be removed. You’re killing me here, Neil.
I had a crap cold all week, too, Jenn. Finally feeling better. Hope you are, too!
Please be very careful… My brother got tinnitus because of this.
Dog ears. My two stinky basset hounds require regular ear cleaning and I am a go getter who gets all of that shiz out. Also Mr. P moans like it is the best ear message he has ever gotten ever!
Retrievers and labradors also need regular ear cleaning. Q-tips work great!
I never knew Q-Tips had it’s own website. I also never really use Q-Tips, so I guess that explains it. That INFORMATIVE! was pretty funny. Sneaky, sneaky, and clever. Very clever. Anyway, I had no idea that there were also so many other uses for those things. There quite handy, apparently. I really don’t know anything about Q-Tips.
There’s nothing like hitting that sweet spot in your ear with a Q-Tip! I have chronic eczema in my ears. When the need arises I put on a little Vaseline or olive oil and go to town.
I am addicted to Q-tips! I really can’t comprehend the mind that decides against using Q-tips for ear cleaning. Not just outer ear cleaning, but in just ’til it’s a lil uncomfortable cleaning. I have a thing about clean ears (I’m the one who’s not experienced that wax falling outa my ears thing…I’d probably run screaming and puking!) I use a Q-tip at least once a day and on the first day of each month I use peroxide to clean out my ears along with a couple Q-tips*. It just makes me feel squeaky clean. For reference, I still have some cookie crumbs under my fingernails from my cookie snack earlier, but I just can’t be bothered to wash my hands. But ears, well, they’re on your head right next to your brains, people!
*Only to be attempted by middle-aged ear cleaning professionals…like me; don’t try this at home!
We may know that it’s not meant for our ears, but many of us like the feeling when we use cotton swabs. Good post.