#920 Getting the eyelash out of your eye

Neil Pasricha

Home freeEyeballs do not want to be touched.

I mean, have you ever put fingers, algae-filled lake water, or shampoo in there? Yeah, that gets your eyes screaming in pain pretty quick, doesn’t it? Unless you’re using Johnson & Johnson’s No More Tears shampoo of course, in which case feel free to lather your eyeballs right on up, no worries.

But seriously, your eyes have their own plumbing system so they’re pretty self-sufficient. Technically they’re called tear ducts but they may as well be called Eye Toilets because they just flush your eye out. Nope, no need for any assistance folks, because your Eye Toilets have it all under control. Dust, dirt, tiny little microscopic bugs — flush, flush, flush away.

Yes, your Eye Toilets are really quite good at their job …

… unless, of course, a rogue eyelash gets in there! Yes, when a rebel lash quietly unhinges itself from the confines of your eyelid and attempts a poorly planned escape to freedom it’s not good. If you’re like me and are cursed with poorly-attached eyelashes, then your lashes just give up and die all the time, flipping down into your eyeball and annoyingly scratching and clawing you right in the cornea. The Eye Toilets start madly flushing, but to no avail — that lash is just sticking in there tight and it ain’t budging.

Now, I don’t care how many barfights you’ve been in or how many times you’ve been shot, you know as well as I do that when there’s an eyelash in your eye it’s incredibly painful, it’s incredibly annoying, and it requires a ton of focus to get through. You might even have to try one of these eyelash-removing methods:

  • The Pinch and Squeeze Method. This is where you close your eye real tight, and then pinch ‘n’ squeeze all your eyelashes outwards, hoping to grab onto a tiny piece of the rogue lash and pull it out, too. I recommend doing this one first to see what happens. You miss here, you still got plenty of options.
  • The Get Someone Else To Blow Into Your Eye Method. If you’re the blowing friend, you can either do a Surprise Blow to prevent the blowee from defensively closing their eye just before you do the deed, or you can do the real surgical technique, where you get them to lie down, hold their eye open, and line up your blow exactly at the eyelash. That last one takes trust and a very dry, stiff blow. Think mighty birthday candle blowout not warming up your hands at the bus stop in winter.
  • The Hard Winker Method. A solo sport, this is where you just keep winking your eye really, really hard and hope the lash will eventually ‘pop out.’ Not a bad technique, though sometimes the act of hard winking just forces that eyelash in there deeper. Bit of a double-edged sword.
  • The Eyelid Flapper. My friend Scott taught me this method when we were little kids. You just pinch the skin of your eyelid with your fingers and keep popping it in and out real fast until the lash gives up and lets go. This method is a little bit gross to look at and comes complete with a marvelously wet and disgusting suction sound.
  • The Wash. If nothing else works, I guess you can always just splash some water in there. Or, if possible, use one of those dusty eyewash stations hanging out in the back of the woodshop. I’ve always wanted to see someone use one of those things. They look like they’re from a 1950s version of the future.

Anyway, whatever your strategy, one thing is certain: You aren’t doing anything until that eyelash comes out. You might get the job done in five seconds, you might work at it for ten painful minutes, but whatever the case, whatever your style, it sure does feel good when that eyelash finally does get out of your eye. Suddenly the sun rises again, the weight is lifted, and your life can get back on the road and just keep on trucking.

AWESOME!

If all else fails, use the machine

Photos from: here, here, and here

17 thoughts to “#920 Getting the eyelash out of your eye”

  2. Just WHERE is the pick-it-out option? To get eyelashes out I first pull on my eyelashes, kind of like the pinch-and-squeeze method but with eyes open, and if there’s actually one stuck right on the eyeball or between the inside of the eyelid and the ball, I just get my finger and gingerly touch the eyelash enough to make it stick, then it just comes out! Pain-free, hassle-free, although you do need a mirror and clean hands. But luckily I always carry my little pocket mirror everywhere and I wash my hands like 10 times a day ha

  4. Trucks and truckers have been big news here this past week. Now, the Eye in the Sky has your weekend in sight…lash free, crystal-clear view, this one goes out to all of you~

  5. Oh, those eyelashes and their poorly planned escapes. None of my eyelashes have ever tried to escape. Either that, or their escapes were well planned and I never even noticed them. Those sneaky little fellas. My eyelashes must be, like, ninjas or something.

  6. I look in a mirror, then find it and use a tissue to try to get it. It makes your eyes red if you don’t them out.

  7. My eyelashes are really long, so it’s extra annoying when I get one in my eye, and wounderful when I finally get it out.

  8. Why, just the other day I was teaching g-bby Noah, the method I was taught: take lid by lashes with pincer fingers, then smooth over the lid, not down, up or away from, but always toward the nose and tear duct, several times…it’s like magical waters wash the eye lash, (and/or nearly whatever else away), and I felt like a Guru Grannie when he smiled, hugged me and then started to dance!!! And as these words fell from my lips I realized I’ll likely forever and always now associate these two, thanks be to you, Neil~

    1. That bottle of shampoo reminded me of something… my new house has a shower stall in the master bath. I don’t know why, but every time I take a shower now, shampoo gets in my eyes and it burrrrrrrrnnnnnnssssssss so bad. I’ve never had this problem before. When I get out of the shower, my eyes are always blood shot now……

  9. I’m an eyedrop addict (can’t start my day wihthout ’em…they’re right up there with Q-tips deep in my ears following my shower) so I if I can’t just pick the lash out, I flood my eye with drops to wash it away. Ahhhhhh, sweet relief!

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  11. Wow! Thank you! I constantly wanted to write on my site something like that. Can I include a portion of your post to my website?

  12. Nice that you connected in the Johnson and Johnson “no more tears” shampoo, because you can flush with the shampoo which while NOT getting that annoying eyelash out, will give that lash a healthy sheen and suppleness that only j-j baby shampoo can provide.

  13. This website is very useful because it really helps and it only took me seconds to get that crappy eyelash out of there so I STRONGLY approve of this website because it is so much better than that crappy wiki LOL

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