#897 A pack of matches on the back of the toilet

Not gonna work

Air fresheners don’t work.

They just make the bathroom smell like someone cracked a bottle of Chanel 5 open like an egg and poured it on top of a hot and steamy garbage dump. Air fresheners don’t so much solve bathroom pollution as they do call attention to it.

And ceiling fans have another issue — basically, they work really, really slowly. You drop a plop in two minutes, they slowly and calmly breeze it away in twenty-five. I mean, if you’ve ever heard anyone ask “Is it safe to go in there yet?”, then there’s your proof.

Finally, don’t even get me started on opening a window. First off, depending on the weather outside, windows really freeze up or heat up the joint. Not great for the environment if your A/C has to kick into overdrive. Plus, somebody has to go around later and close that window back up. Too much maintenance, really.

Instant stink removal

Yes, there’s really only one failsafe way to get rid of the stink in a bathroom. Only one powerful weapon against the onslaught of toilet odor. Only one time-tested method to destinkify the can. And friends, that powerful weapon is … the simple match.

That’s right: a match is cheap, convenient, and effective. Light it up, blow it out, flush it away, and you’re laughing. And isn’t it comforting when you see one on your friend’s toilet when you need to slip away from the dinner party to ‘go wash your hands’?

That’s right. You’ve been there before, you’ve played the game. You’ve waged the wars, you’ve tamed the flame. And you realize that a pack of matches on the back of the toilet is just so simply

AWESOME!

Now just blow it up and flush away the evidence

Photos from: here, here and here

16 thoughts to “#897 A pack of matches on the back of the toilet”

  1. I’ve never seen a pack of matches on the back of a toilet in person, but I have seen it in some movies. Which of course usually ends up with someone burning the bathroom down or the house. I’ll keep my eye out though.

    1. Can’t say I’ve ever seen it either, Bekah. I never even knew about it ’til I was an adult and heard it on some TV show or something. Have to agree about the air fresheners, though because they actually make it worse to me! Nothing like breathing in artificial roses and stink…YUCK!

  2. My elementary school friend’s family did this match trick. I’m not a huge fan. It may disguise the odor but it still send the message “I stunk this place up so badly I had to make fire.” I guess in absence of a nice scented-spray-and-fan combo, a match will work.

  3. Never seen the box of matches on the top of the loo.
    But I’m sure if I left any there, any smells they were meant to disguise would be preferable to the remarks I got from my son and my son in law would make about the possibilities of striking a match.
    We have a fan. I encourage people to use it.

  4. We have Febreeze linen scent in our bathrooms. It does get the stink out, but you can only use one tiny spray, or you’ll be smelling it for the rest of the day. It’s still a dead give-a-way though. Why else would a bathroom smell like freshly washed/dried laundry? My three year old even knows what clean laundry smell in the bathroom means – Daddy’s been in there.

    1. My grandma has that stuff in her bathroom and everytime my daughter goes in there, she has to spary the whole room which fills the entire house as soon as she opens the door.

  5. I’ve never seen this before. It seems like a fire hazard, or something. I want to try this one day, though. It just seems so simple. I want to see if it actually works.

  6. My grandparents always kept matches in the bathroom of their country house. Considering that when we visited it could be 7 people sharing one bathroom, I’d say it was a very wise choice and one that worked extremely well. Yes, it was a clear giveaway of what was going on but it made for good fun family teasing. I’m 38 so this is going back between 20 – 30+ years

  7. Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and definitely will come back sometime soon. I want to encourage one to continue your great posts, have a nice weekend!My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome site!My partner and I stumbled over here coming from a different page and thought I should check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to looking over your web page again.I enjoy what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and exposure! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve added you guys to blogroll.Hello there I am so glad I found your website, I really found you by accident, while I was looking on Digg for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a tremendous post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the great job.Appreciating the hard work you put into your website and detailed information you present. It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same unwanted rehashed material. Excellent read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.Greetings! I’ve been reading your website for a while now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Texas! Just wanted to tell you keep up the good job!

Comments are closed.