#801 When you know your remote control so well you don’t need to look at the buttons

Neil Pasricha

You can rule the remoteEver tried to turn on someone else’s TV?

Brother, we both know that’s a tough slog, probably involving a couple of these fine moves:

1. The Brand Name Match-Up. You stare at three identical-looking black remotes on their coffee table and play Sherlock by matching brand names. You eye the Panasonic logo in the corner of the TV and search for the Panasonic remote on the table. Elementary, my dear Watson.

2. The Walk-Up. When you can’t get anything to turn on, you toss all the remotes on the couch in a fit of frustration and just walk up to the front of the TV to search for the Power button. This works until you want to watch a movie and can’t find TV/Video or Input button on there.

Looking for clues

3. The Out Of Order Lecture. Your buddy walks in the room and flips out when he sees you pushing buttons and Spanish subtitles scrolling across the screen. “What did you press first?,” he asks, ripping the remotes out of your hand like puppies you happen to be strangling. “You’re doing it all out of order!” He might throw in some sarcastic jabs at the end too like “How could the TV work without the cable box?” or “No, no, no, you have to flip the Input switch on the Universal first. Idiot!”

If you feel this pain, then you know how rewarding it can be when you finally master your TV remote. You don’t see yourself changing, but one day you look in the mirror and notice you’ve become an Channel Surfing All-Star. And that’s something worth celebrating.

First you ace the ups and the downs and then you ace the number pad, even after the little nipply thing wears off the 5. After you get that, there’s no stopping you. Mute, input / output, sleep, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to look and your TV watching efficiency zooms through the roof. Nobody flips channels like you. Nobody cranks the volume when someone starts vacuuming like you. And nobody pushes Mute and answers the phone in one ring like you.

Nobody can touch you, baby.

You made it.

AWESOME!

Flip loud, flip proud

Photos from: here and here

10 thoughts to “#801 When you know your remote control so well you don’t need to look at the buttons”

  1. My sister’s remote is exactly the same as the one I have at home…

    Except the volume-up/down and the channel-up/down buttons are on opposite sides. You’d think by now I’d have learned, but no. Sitting there watching telly and…

    “Can you turn it up?”
    “Sure.”
    *changes channel*
    “…Okay then.”
    “GODDANGIT.”

  2. I can use my remote without looking, which is awesome…but recently it occurred to me that I only use half the buttons. Can someone tell me what the other half are for?

  3. I can use mine without looking and it comes in handy when I’m watching tv in the dark. I hate using other people’s remotes, they have like 20. One is for volume. One is for the cable box. One is for the tv. One is for the DVD player… but they all look the same!

  4. I wish I was a TV wizard, flipping chanels like a champion. But no, I’m still learning the ropes for my remote. I know how to turn the volume up without looking, though! But I still need to look when pressing the numbers. One day, I will learn all there is to know about my remote. One day…

  5. I am almost ashamed to admit it but the truth is that i loved this one… its so true, my puppy ate my control a few months back and replacing it was very stressful, getting used to all the new buttons :(

  6. p.s. seriously I preferred things when there were 3 free channels: local, knowledge and provincial…did I tell you for *free?!* And the channel changer was manual, right on the television set! No remotes!! I know people with 4-5 and there’s no way I can figure all that out!!
    btw, animal cookies and nutella is awesome!!!
    Happy Easter everyone!

    1. I soooo agree, Wendy! Ridiculous that we pay for this junk these days. Hey, wait, that makes me sound old…LOL! “Back in my day…”

      1. Kathy, I’m with ya’ and feeling groovy on the fact “we” had the opportunity to experience life as it was, “back in our day!”
        We’ll go down in history as the make love not war flower children. In the rising times of some of the greatest music icons EVER to rock this planet! When there was well worth watching FREE television! The penny had equivalent value of 2-3 candies! Board games and outdoor games like kick-the-can and such were things you longed to play… never wanting to go indoors, not “Participaction!”
        Many really far-out things to reminisce about!!!
        I relate and feel so blessed to be able to say so…not old! (except when my bones creek, joints hurt and heart flutters;)
        “It’s the time, of the season…”

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